This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the name of Hitler's rap album?

Straight Outta Kampfton

I once got in a rap battle with a peanut.

He was roasted.

There really should be a subgenre of hip-hop called Bubble Rap

It would probably sound a lot like pop.

Why don’t religious people like rap music?

All rappers do is hop in the booth and confess to a bunch of crimes they’ve committed.

That’s Catholicism.

What do mumble rappers from the East coast rap about?

I don’t know...Their verses aren’t Pacific.

What mumble rap group was also famous for their singing?

The Do-Re-Migos

Few years ago I saw Slim Shady in concert and instead of rapping he just kept pulling his pants down and mooning the crowd.

Honestly the whole thing was just Em bare assing.

Don’t know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap.

Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap,

Then French Art must be..

If steak could rap, why would its prefix only be Big or Lil'?

Because medium rare

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be e...

What do you call a Gimp with a talent for Rapping?

S&Minem.

How do you beat a diabetic rapper in a rap battle

Candy Bars

What kind of snake is best at Rap?

The Spittin' Cobra

What music genre do rap-loving Republican listen to?

Hip-hocrisy

What's the difference between raping and rapping?

Where you put the pp.

R Kelly is really changing the rap game

He takes the art out of rap artist

What do you call a fish who raps?

A. Swim Shady

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My rap album never made big-bucks

Cause of the diss-counts

If a Cheetah made a rap group, what would it be called?

...Rapid.

If I were a rapper, my rap name would be..

Lay-Z

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kanye’s rise to fame

Right before dropping out of college and kick starting his rap career, Kanye West went to visit his wealthy aunt, Shirlie Faulker, who owned a rubber products manufacturing factory on the outskirts of Paris, France. He decided to spend his summer break working at the factory part time while deciding...

The Dean of the College of the Cardinals was at his wits end

The conclave had been contentious, and no clear leader emerged after many days of bickering. He needed a break, and was resting in his private office when there was a gentle rap at the door.

"What is it? Is there word of a new Pope?"

"Not exactly, sir."

"Who is it that disturbs...

Why did the orange have so much trouble forming a rap duo?

No one rhymes with orange.

I've just written a song about tortillas,

actually, it’s more of a rap.

Did you hear about that rap group that got arrested?

Apparently they've been charged with conspiracy to commit rhyme.

My dad needed some advice on how to wrap birthday presents properly

He looked up "Enimem-rap god"

What do you call a Call of Duty player's instant rap single?

A Flash-Banger

I'm working on a rap song about Drugs and Money

It's called "I can't afford that insulin"

My grandpa and Eminem rapping have 1 thing in common

They don't breathe

What’s the coronavirus’ favourite rap group ?

The Wuhan Clan

Eminem is that guy in chemistry class that raps the whole periodic table.

But skips Oxygen.

What’s different about rap battles and American schools?

People usually don’t cry at rap battles when there’s shots fired.

What’s a rap video and a good reddit post got in common?

Lots of cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between raping and rapping?

One's mostly done by criminals in shady neighborhoods, and the other is sex without consent.

So Tekashi69 could face life in prison

Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence

If you're ever struggling to remember the spelling...

Santa wraps, Eminem raps, Brock Turner...

An older man with a touch of dementia wobbles into a Catholic Church, sits down in the confessional booth, but doesn't utter a word. The Priest coughs, hoping to get a response. But the older man just sits and says nothing. Finally the Priest raps his knuckles three times on the screen.

The older guy mumbles, "Don't bother knocking, pal. There's no paper over here either.”

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist

art

What do you call a rap battle event between lizards?

A reptile diss function.

What do you call a rap battle between 21 savage and Six-Nine?

Alien vs predator

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of the rap song that’s going viral?

Wuhan clan ain’t nothing to fuck with

So singing some rap songs with my black friends in the car and they are picking on me because as a white guy I am not allowed to say the n word when it pops up in the songs.

But jokes on them, I can say a lot of other words that they can’t.
Like “thank you officer have a nice day.”
And also “happy birthday uncle dad”

It’s not fair that procrastination gets such a bad rap.

It has literally kept me alive for years.

I do not understand why Amazon gets a bad rap for the whole homeless issue...

I mean yes Apple/Google/Microsoft are donating a lot of money to help, but Amazon employs more homeless people than all three combined!

There's a new rap group, of three really over weight white dudes from New York

The Obesity Boys

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cross-eyed mule

A farmer, extremely proud of his mule, often boasted that it could haul anything no matter the weight. As such, he constantly took the largest jobs and charged a hefty price for it.

One day in town he loaded up his largest job yet in his wagon. He hitched up the mule, gave it a switch, and th...

There are two eras of modern rap...

Pre Malone and Post Malone

I was going to make a joke about mumble rap

But you wouldn’t understand it.

I made a rap song all about soap.

It’s fine, the lyrics are clean.

Rap is like scissors...

It always loses to rock.

I've been trying to sell a rap themed shirt with the greatest disses of all time on it, but apparently it's not selling well.

I'll have to up the discount.

I always listen to mumble rap when I’m studying.

It’s a constant reminder on why it is important to get educated.

I listen to way too much rap music.

I’m up to 2pac a day.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"You know, music can really take you places," he muses to the bartender. "For example, if you guys play one more rap song in here it's going to take me to the next bar."

I dont know why dad jokes get a bad rap, women love dad jokes.

Otherwise they'd call them bachelor jokes.

What does a warlock farmer rap about?

Witches and hoes.

Why aren't there any rap songs about Donald Trump?

Because there aren't any words that rhyme with "Orange."

What do you call a girl that raps about women rights?

Feminem.

Why did the female rapper only rap when she was on her menstrual cycle?

Because they said she had a mean flow

I tried buying tickets to a rap concert to see if the bank had processed the loan I requested on my account

They did not Post Malone.

My SO is kicking me out the house because apparently I’m obsessed with rap.

She told me 2pac my bags and leave.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have finally figured out the perfect name for the Country/Rap genre

CRap

I never knew rap had 4 letters...

They should have kept the silent c on the front.

Help! I think I broke my phone's speaker! All I did was convert my normal rap playlist into an emo rap playlist.

Now all I can hear is a Lil Peep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dragon appears and burns down a village...

...so the inhabitants of the another village across the river plead with Sir Roland, a mighty knight, to come and slay the beast.

Sir Roland dons his best plate, arms himself with his finest weapons, and rides out to battle the dragon. He comes to the area where the beast was last seen, and f...

What do you call a rapping DEA agent?

Narky Nark

Why are dragons so good at rapping?

Because they're always spitting fire.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My son likes rap music, but he's only 7 so when he asks what certain words mean, I lie....

for example, when rappers talk about "weed" they're just talking about the weeds in their grass... and when they "smoke weed" that just means they're killing the weeds in their lawn...


his favorite line is "HEY HEY HEY HEY... Smoke Weed Everyday".... I had to explain to him that it's by...

Being white has its disadvantages too, you know.

It can be super hard to find a rap song on iTunes when you spell all the words correctly.

One of Roald Dahl's characters gained weight and started writing rap music.

Notorious BFG.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean Pop is KPop

Is Chinese Rap Crap?

EDIT: I just got on and looked at this post.....
THANK U SO MUCH!!!! This was my first post and it got all the way to the top!! Thank you sooo much!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My son, 9 years old told me these jokes on different days and I wrote them all down as he told them.

What did the the dancer say when he found proof:

he found evi-dance

What did the lazy person buy at the store?

A Nap-kin

What is a goldfishes favorite story?

Goldilocks

What did the musician say when he was safe?

I’m safe and SOUND.

What do bu...

What is it called when two Rappers Get in a Rap Battle in Beijing?

Beijing Beef

If the rap god and rap devil are fighting?

Does that mean we all missed the rapture?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got into a discussion with my coworker today about surnames. How they originated from what people were known for. Smith, shoemaker, etc.

Well my great great great great great great grandfather's name was Horace P. Horsefucker.
He got a bad rap. It was consensual...though the horse said neigh.

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding
she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned
that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the
entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares her...

Did you hear why they are naming Trampolines after a famous 90's rap duo?

Because Kriss Kross will make you jump jump

What is it called when a rapper takes your rap career for the public good?

Eminem Domain

Apparently, someone stole a few of my Rap CDs.

Oh well, no biggie.

Future rap name: 50 Bitcoin

That's all, the punchline was in the title; however, this sentence is here to comfort you and let you know that it's totally normal that you clicked to see if there was anything else.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My father must think I’m good at rapping

He calls me Lil Bitch.

A blonde man is driving down the road when he sees another blonde guy sitting in a rowboat in the middle of a field. He pulls over and yells "its guys like you that give us blondes a bad rap!

And you're lucky I can't swim or I'd come out there and kick your ass!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the rapping cow say to the chicken crossing the road?

Moooove bitch, get out the way
Get out the way bitch, get out the way

GF: "Did you see Eminem's new rap about Trump?"

Me: "Yes. It was ludacris."

GF: "No, it was Eminem."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm going to open a strip club where the dancers rap.

And call it titty bars

Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?

He couldn't yet spit hot fire

11 Minutes

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer ...

So batman's son got into the rap industry

.. They call him Lil' Wayne

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With the surge in popularity of Country Music artists that have included rap in their songs, like Jason Aldean and Sam Hunt, this years CMA's will include a new category. As it is a hybrid style of genres, Rap and Country, the producers have settled on a fitting name for the award.

CRAP.

I plan on starting a geek rap band...

I think I'll call it Run-D.L.L.

What do you call a white guy trying to rap?

A faux shizzle my nizzle.

Four dads are arguing, each dad claims to have the best son in the world.

The first dad says, "My son is the best because he is so rich, I only gave him a small loan of a million dollars and he ended up making four billion dollars from his multi-billion dollar hotel business. He has even appeared on many TV shows. He is so successful that he was elected to lead a country....

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.