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Rap Jokes

I once got in a rap battle with a peanut.

He was roasted.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the name of Hitler's rap album?

Straight Outta Kampfton

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What is a pornstar's rap name?

Lil Squirt.

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist

art
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What do you call a girl that raps about women rights?

Feminem.
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How do you beat a diabetic rapper in a rap battle

Candy Bars
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(NSFW) Did you hear about the rapper that only raps on her period?

She has a mean flow
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Why does no one listen to rap music in Korea?

Because it sounds like krap
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What does a rapping goat call their verbal drum skills?

Bleat boxing
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R Kelly is really changing the rap game

He takes the art out of rap artist
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If Korean Pop is KPop

Is Chinese Rap Crap?

EDIT: I just got on and looked at this post.....
THANK U SO MUCH!!!! This was my first post and it got all the way to the top!! Thank you sooo much!!

A farmer had three daughters

And they all three had dates planned for this evening. The farmer got his shotgun out to clean as well for added intimidation for the gentlemen callers.
At 5PM there was a knock on the door, so the farmer answered it with his shotgun in tow.

A young man was standing in the stoop, and said,...
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Why don’t religious people like rap music?

All rappers do is hop in the booth and confess to a bunch of crimes they’ve committed.

That’s Catholicism.
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Macaulay Culkin just released his first rap album.

He's Ho Malone.
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What do mumble rappers from the East coast rap about?

I don’t know...Their verses aren’t Pacific.
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If the rap god and rap devil are fighting?

Does that mean we all missed the rapture?
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Rap is like scissors...

It always loses to rock.
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A PR firm is working with a rap artist

They want to clean his image and recover his prestige. No more wild parties, no more driving under influence, no more cheating on his wife. However, it’s difficult to turn a former troublemaker artist into a family man.

“Look, we invested a lot of time and money into this,” says the PR manag...

It’s not fair that procrastination gets such a bad rap.

It has literally kept me alive for years.
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There really should be a subgenre of hip-hop called Bubble Rap

It would probably sound a lot like pop.
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If North Korea ever made propaganda rap, it would be K-RAP

The name is self-explanatory
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11 Minutes

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer ...
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My rap album never made big-bucks

Cause of the diss-counts

I'm working on a rap song about Drugs and Money

It's called "I can't afford that insulin"
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Don’t know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap.

Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!
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What kind of snake is best at Rap?

The Spittin' Cobra
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What mumble rap group was also famous for their singing?

The Do-Re-Migos
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Did you know they sell older rap songs at a discount if you buy two at once?

They call it the Tupac-bundle.
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Isn't it strange how sometimes a random 80s rap song will start playing in your head for no reason?

I guess we just have to accept that the brain is a very complex organ, because it's like that, and that's the way it is.
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A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:
'Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send three well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress unifor...

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How do you make it so no one gets offended at the Christmas song "Baby It's Cold Outside"?

Rebrand it as a rap song and name it, "Yo Bitch, It's Freezing Outside."

What’s the coronavirus’ favourite rap group ?

The Wuhan Clan
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Future rap name: 50 Bitcoin

That's all, the punchline was in the title; however, this sentence is here to comfort you and let you know that it's totally normal that you clicked to see if there was anything else.
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What’s different about rap battles and American schools?

People usually don’t cry at rap battles when there’s shots fired.
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What do you call a fish who raps?

A. Swim Shady
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What is a urologists favourite rap group?

ICP
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If steak could rap, why would its prefix only be Big or Lil'?

Because medium rare
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Did you hear about that rap group that got arrested?

Apparently they've been charged with conspiracy to commit rhyme.
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Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding
she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned
that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the
entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares her...
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There are two eras of modern rap...

Pre Malone and Post Malone
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Help! I think I broke my phone's speaker! All I did was convert my normal rap playlist into an emo rap playlist.

Now all I can hear is a Lil Peep.
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Rap Battle

Hey, can you pick me up from my rap battle?, It's over.

Sure, did you win?

No..no, I lost

What went wrong?

Well grandma, they saw you drop me off and did a pretty devastating rhyme about it.
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I made a rap song all about soap.

It’s fine, the lyrics are clean.
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Few years ago I saw Slim Shady in concert and instead of rapping he just kept pulling his pants down and mooning the crowd.

Honestly the whole thing was just Em bare assing.
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What do you call a rap battle event between lizards?

A reptile diss function.
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I was going to make a joke about mumble rap

But you wouldn’t understand it.
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What's the difference between raping and rapping?

Where you put the pp.
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What music genre do rap-loving Republican listen to?

Hip-hocrisy
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I always listen to mumble rap when I’m studying.

It’s a constant reminder on why it is important to get educated.
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I never knew rap had 4 letters...

They should have kept the silent c on the front.
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What does a warlock farmer rap about?

Witches and hoes.
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Why aren't there any rap songs about Donald Trump?

Because there aren't any words that rhyme with "Orange."
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I Want A Divorce

A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and
asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

"About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this ca...
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What do you call a Call of Duty player's instant rap single?

A Flash-Banger
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What do you call a rapping DEA agent?

Narky Nark
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My grandpa and Eminem rapping have 1 thing in common

They don't breathe
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Why are dragons so good at rapping?

Because they're always spitting fire.
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Eminem is that guy in chemistry class that raps the whole periodic table.

But skips Oxygen.
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Have you heard of the rap song that’s going viral?

Wuhan clan ain’t nothing to fuck with

If I can't focus on my work because someone is rapping about me

then I've been diss track-ted
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My father must think I’m good at rapping

He calls me Lil Bitch.

What is a priest's favorite rap album?

All Sodom-Eyez On Me
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What’s a rap video and a good reddit post got in common?

Lots of cake.
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GF: "Did you see Eminem's new rap about Trump?"

Me: "Yes. It was ludacris."

GF: "No, it was Eminem."
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I have finally figured out the perfect name for the Country/Rap genre

CRap

So batman's son got into the rap industry

.. They call him Lil' Wayne
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Gang bangs always get a bad rap on the news...

People fail to realize that 9/10 people enjoy them. The numbers don’t lie.
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Apparently, someone stole a few of my Rap CDs.

Oh well, no biggie.
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I plan on starting a geek rap band...

I think I'll call it Run-D.L.L.
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I dont know why dad jokes get a bad rap, women love dad jokes.

Otherwise they'd call them bachelor jokes.
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What do you call a white guy trying to rap?

A faux shizzle my nizzle.
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There's a new rap group, of three really over weight white dudes from New York

The Obesity Boys
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I do not understand why Amazon gets a bad rap for the whole homeless issue...

I mean yes Apple/Google/Microsoft are donating a lot of money to help, but Amazon employs more homeless people than all three combined!
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Why would keyboards fail in battle rap?

They only have "space bars."
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Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?

He couldn't yet spit hot fire
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What's the difference between raping and rapping?

One's mostly done by criminals in shady neighborhoods, and the other is sex without consent.

What kind of paper likes listening to music?

Rapping paper
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One of Roald Dahl's characters gained weight and started writing rap music.

Notorious BFG.
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My SO is kicking me out the house because apparently I’m obsessed with rap.

She told me 2pac my bags and leave.
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I'm going to open a strip club where the dancers rap.

And call it titty bars

Did you hear why they are naming Trampolines after a famous 90's rap duo?

Because Kriss Kross will make you jump jump
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