Pink Panther’s to do list

- To do
- To do
- To do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to dooooo

When the Pink Panther stepped on an ant, what song did they play?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant......

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip.

What goes in hard and pink but comes out soft and mushy?

Bubblegum -- and you should be ashamed of yourself.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl said my pink shirt was gay

I replied "of course, it just came out of the closet"

What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?

Their greatest hit was the wall

Why are all of Nelson Mandela's shirts pink?

He refuses to separate the whites from the colours

Why don't soldiers wear yellow and pink?

They'd get too much flak for it.

What is Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?

Dark side of the Moon, for it's eclectic instrumentation and higher than average production values.

What is Donald Trumps favourite song? Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd

Because he don't need no education....

How do you kill a blue elephant? You shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant?

You hold its trunk until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What kind of country would we have if everybody drove a pink Chevrolet?

A pink carnation.

Mr Green lives in The Green House. Mr Blue lives in The Blue House. Mrs Pink lives in The Pink House. Who lives in The White House?

Mr Orange.

At my executive chef job a couple called me out to compliment me for cooking their steak thoroughly with no pink inside.

It’s always nice to be recognized for a job well done.

A study has shown 90% of women aren’t interested in men that wear pink shirts.

Ironically, 90% of men that wear pink shirts aren’t interested in women.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I dated a twin once. People always asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple. Ashley painted her nails pink

And Michael had a Penis.

What's pink inside and smells like fish?

Salmon

What do you call a pink flower that resurrects itself?

A rein-carnation.

A guy adopts a pink parrot from an old sailor....

unfortunately, it swears like an old sailor. He tries everything to get it to stop. He even destroyed the parrot's old cage, but that just made it worse. Then he noticed his mom coming up to the house. What could he do? He couldn't let his dear sweet mother hear this foul mouthed bird. So, he p...

How do you annoy a Pink Floyd fan?

Play their music on shuffle

What's the most important property of a sparkling pink ship?

It's flamboyant.

What is the pink panther thinking when he walks into a strip club?

Tiddy - tiddy - tiddy, tiddy, tiddy, tiddy, tiddyyy

What is pink, hard when it goes in, soft when it comes out, dry when it goes in, and wet when it comes out?

Bubble gum. Got this joke from a high school science teacher, one of the weird ones.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

What's pink, wrinkly, and hangs out your pants?

Grandma doing laundry

The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd.

They've left those kids a loan.

EDIT: Woke up to find THIS :O

An overweight man calls a fitness company and orders their three stage weight loss course. The next day, there's a knock on the door and standing before him, an athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck...

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs him...

Dad joke: what would happen if everyone in a country drove a pink automobile?

We would have a pink car nation.

(Like the flower..... ok I’ll see myself out...)

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

I bought my girlfriend a pink vibrator for valentines day.

She told me as long as she has me she won't need it. I told her "actually that's what I'm here to talk about"

The pink panther likes to do

To do to do to do to do to do to dooo dodododo

Pink Panther's TODO list

1. TODO
2. TODO
3. TODO TODO TODO TODO TODOOO

The teacher said to use the colors green, yellow, and pink in a sentence.

The 1st student goes.."i like the colors green, yellow and pink"

the 2nd student goes.."the grass is green, sun is yellow, and my shirt is pink"

the 3rd one, an asian, goes.."my phone went green green so i pinked it up and said 'yellow?'"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is giant, pink and drags across the ocean floor?

Moby's Dick

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

**[NSFW]** **[Long]** The Mayor of New York offered 2M dollars to anyone who could get rid of their pigeon infestation

...An old man wearing a trench coat came up to the Mayor and asked if he could get half the money now and the other half when he was done. The Mayor refused. Stating that he would only pay him once all the pigeons were gone. So, the old man said very well. Reaching into his coat he removed a small b...

As a man i avoid wearing pink shirts or anything too feminine ..

thats why my bra and panties are always black.

If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Glass

I wore a pink t-shirt out the other night and my girlfriend said I looked like a Flamingo..

So I had to put my foot down.

Why do we dress baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink?

Because they can't dress themselves.

Kermit's $30,000 loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."

Patricia looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit J...

I saw a climate scientist eating pasta out of a pink leather bowl

He was eating carb on dyed ox hide

Did you hear that they changed the theme song when they found out the Pink Panther was a Redditor?

Now it goes pedant pedant....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I saw a glory hole when I went to the toilet at a Pink Floyd concert. That might have been strange for many people, but for me it was just...

Another dick in the wall.

Why is the pink panther the busiest of cats

He always has something to do,
to do, to do do do dodo dodoooh

Breast cancer awareness has pink ribbons, but what does alcoholism awareness have?

Bruises.