Best knock knock joke ever..

Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and...

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Woo.

Woo Who?

Why are you so exited, it’s just a knock knock joke

Whoever invented the knock knock jokes

Should get a Nobell prize.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandma used to tell us this joke. She’d say, “knock knock,” we’d say, “who’s there?”

Then she’d say “I can’t remember!” and start to cry. And we’d laugh and laugh to make her feel better, but she was shit at telling jokes.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Wakanda.

Wakanda who?

Wakanda dumbass question is that?

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid Firemen

I only knock up anti-vaxxers

Because 8 years of child support is better than 18 years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway an...

A knock knock joke on a cosmological scale

- Knock knock.
- W h o ’ s t h e r e ?
- E N T R O P Y .
- E T R P Y w o ?
- e n

I always knock on the fridge door before I open it

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?

I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!

"Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Dave" "Dave who?"

Dave then broke down and started crying as his mums dementia has gotten so bad she couldnt even recognise her own son...

Knock knock

Knock knock

Who's there

Daisy

Daisy who

Daisy me rollin, they hatin..

Knock Knock Joke #1

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Wooden Shoe.

Wooden Shoe who?

Wooden Shoe want to upvote this joke?

Everyday my 90 year old neighbour who has alzhiemers knocks on my door

Everyday my 90 year old neighbour who has alzhiemers knocks on my door and asks me if I've seen his wife .

And everyday I have to tell that 90 year old man his wife has been long dead .
You know I have thought of not answering the door I have even thought about moving.

But you know ...

A man hears a knock at his door, and is surprised to see

a polar bear standing before him.

"Hi," says the white bear, "I'm the bear of good news. A distant relative of yours passed away a while ago, but it turns out he entrusted a large fortune to you in his will."

"Great," says the man. "Thanks for the good news."

Later, the man hear...

Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with either gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dishes

Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery

Q: You are in Spanish Inn and hear a knock on the door, who do you expect?

You: The Spanish Inquisition?

A: It’s Room Service. How could you get that wrong, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Just A Normal Knock Knock Joke. Plz Reply

Knock Knock

Why should you always knock before entering the Hamburger Helper Mascot’s room?

He might beef stroganoff.

I got fired from my job as a changing room attendant for opening doors uninvited. They called me “the Knock Less monster.”

Because I was always lookin for free tiddy.

knock knock

Who’s there?


Control Freak.


Con…


OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

Knock knock

Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Owls
Person 2: Owls who?
Person 1: yup, they do.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door

He opens it up and there's no-one there, but h looks down and sees a snail on the doorstep.

A bit puzzled, he picks the snail up and throws it as far as he can.

A year later there's a knock at his door. He gets up and opens it and the snail is there.

"What did you do that for?" ...

"Remember that funny knock-knock joke?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the USA?

Because Freedom rings

What award did the inventor of knock knock jokes recieve?

The No Bell Prize

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do people knock on occupied toilets' doors?

So they can scare the shit out of you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy knocks on the door of his girlfriend’s house

But her dad answers the door. The guy says “Hi, I’m Tobias. I’m here to fuck your daughter.”

The dad goes “TO WHAT?!?!”

The guy says “TOBIAS”

Knock knock. - Who's there?

X-men

X-men who?

Caitlyn Jenner





Sry... I had to take this joke out of my head

-Neutrino. Knock knock.

\-We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.

\-Hipsters liked neutrinos before they arrived.

\-I wrote a speed of light joke...but a neutrino beat me to it.

\-A. To prove particles can travel faster than light Q. Why did ...

My car can speed faster than bullets, drive under water and knock down evil like bowling pins.

It's a Porsche to be reckoned with

Cold War Era Joke: This Russian dude had a talking parrot. A very special parrot who loved cursing the regime, and the Communist party leaders. One day, hard knocks on the door, "KGB, open up!". The guy hides the parrot in the freezer. The KGB searches the apartment and cannot find the parrot.

The KGB agents give the guy a warning. Once they leave, he runs to the freezer takes out the shivering bird and hugs it and tells the parrot to curse the revolution. The parrot is mum. "Com'on curse Brezhniev , curse the KGB. The parrot looks at the guy and says "I've just been to Siberia! I'm not t...

I don't know why people knock dad jokes, women love them.

Otherwise they'd be called bachelor jokes.

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"FBI."

"FBI who-"

"OPEN UP!"

Person A: knock knock! Person B; who’s there?

Person A:
Orange!!

Person B:
Orange who?

Person A:
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana!

Why did Annie fall of the swings?

She had no arms.

What did Annie get for Christmas?
She doesn't know. She can't open the box.

Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Annie.

A drunk staggered into a Catholic church

He entered a confessional booth, sat down and said nothing. The priest coughed a few times to get his attention, but the man stayed silent. Finally the priest knocked loudly on the wall three times. The drunk mumbled "Ain't no use in knocking, there's no paper on this side either"

A tomato officer with its team walks to Salad's house and knocks on the door.

"Lettuce in!"

Knock-knock

Come in

-Knock knock. -Who’s there? -Broken pencil. -Broken pencil who?

Never mind, it’s pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A newspaper boy knocks on a woman's door to collect his money

The woman answers the door wearing a very sheer negligee. He asks for his two dollars and she says she has no cash on her, but maybe they can work something out.

The newspaper boy sighs and unzips his pants to reveal an 9 inch cock. They get down to business but the newspaper boy is only pu...

From my 5 year old. Knock knock...

Who's there?
Cow
Cow who?
Cows don't say "who", they say "moo"!

I was cracking up :) such pride

Knock knock, who's there?

...

...

...

...

Internet explorer

Internet explorer who?

...

...

...

Internet explorer has stopped working. Windows is looking for a solution to the problem...

Me: Hey I got a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off

Them: ok, knock knock

Me: Who's there!

Them: *confused silence*

Knock Knock

Knock Knock favorite from my 6yo daughter at the moment:


1) Knock Knock

2) Who's There?

1) Interrupting Cow.

2) ...Interrupting Co...

1) MOOOOOOOOO

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Low octane ratings"


(Sorry, I heard this in my engine rebuilding class and it was kinda funny at the time...sorry...)

Knock, knock!

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Who.

Who, who?

You sound like an owl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man knocks on a door.

As an old guy opens the door, the young man says "Hi, my name is Torvik and im here to fuck your daughter" to wich the old guy responded "To what!?" the young man yelled "Torvik"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious, shove a foreign object up my ass and film the whole thing.

Or as my doctor insists on calling it, a colonoscopy

The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.

I said ether/ore.

Did you hear about the woman who invented the knock knock joke?

She won the no-bell prize!
(Courtesy of my new Alexa!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman hears a knock on the door...

She answers the door and a man asks her, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door in disgust.

The next day she hears a knock on the door again, the same man asks her, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door again.

That night, she informs her husband of the man knocki...

A secretary knocks on God's door.

"The atheists are here to see you" she says.

God replies, "Tell them I'm not here"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was attacked by 3 men last night. I managed to knock one out.

Probably wasn't the best time to for a wank, but it could've been my last!

My collection of meta knock knock jokes (on mobile so bad formatting)

Knock knock|who's there|hallucinations| hallucinations who? | (Walk away)
|||knock knock|who's there|sudden anxiety attack|sudden anxiety attack who?|Sorry am I talking too much?
||| Knock knock|Who's there|Your inability to focus|your inability to focus who|(mouth the words your inability t...

I've developed a craving for strong female characters that I can't seem to knock. That's right...

I'm addicted to heroine.

My 6yo came up with this “Knock knock” joke and it’s one if the best I heard!

- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Ach
- Ach who?
- Bless you!

"Knock knock"

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"John"

"John who?"

John began to sob softly to himself, as his mother's Alzheimer's had gotten worse.

Knock knock!

"Who's there?"

"The doorbell repair man."

Knock knock- who’s there- Will- Will who?

Will you please unlock the door so I can get in?

For anybody that may have read this, sorry for making you cringe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock

Knock knock

Who's there?

Narnia

Narnia who?

Narnia fuckin business

There’s a knock at the door

The butler goes and answers the door.

“Sir, there’s a man at the door with a mustache.”

“I’m not interested, tell him I’ve already got one!”

Knock knock....

Who’s there?

Aaaaaaaahhh!

Aaaaaaaahhh! Who?

Werewolves of London.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

The Lannisters.

The Lannisters who?

I thought The North Remembers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock

1) "who's there?"
2) "Thai Mai Shh"
1) "Thai Mai Shh who?)
2) "Bro, tie your own fucking shoe! Also, open the door please. It's cold outside."

Knock Knock

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Dude.

Dude who?

Haha, you said doo doo!

*knock knock*

"Who's there?"

"An interrupting southerner"

"An interrupti-"

"Actually it was about states' rights!"

Knock knock

- Knock knock
- Who's there?
- 9/11
- 9/11 who?
- You said you'd never forget...

A man is sitting at home when a police officer knocks on his door.

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, “Yes, I am.”

The officer then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife.

The man answers, “Sure, hold on a second.”

The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, “I’m sorry, but it looks like your w...

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Cantaloupe.

Cantaloupe who?

Cantaloupe unless your honeydew too.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiots house

Knock knock

Who's there

The chicken

Seeking inspiration, a screenwriter goes to the holy place of Golgotha in Jerusalem, believed to be the site of Jesus's crucifixion. Finding a quiet spot, he begins to write. Unfortunately, a group of thieves sneak up behind him, knock him out, and steal his laptop.

Another victim of a cross site scripting attack.

“Knock Knock!” “Who’s there?”

“It’s Dave!”

“Dave who?”

Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

German Knock Knock Joke

Knock Knock

Who's there?

The Gestapo

The Gestapo wh-

VE VILL ASK ZE QUESTIONS

A pretty girl knocks on the door and asks if he needs yard work

Johnny looks at her and is skeptical at first. He never saw a female gardener before, much less someone so attractive. He decides to give her a chance, and asks her to mow his lawn.

To his astonishment, she not only does an excellent job, but mows in an elaborate pattern that turns the lawn ...

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