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A Nun was taking a bath when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" She asked. The voice back replies "It's the blind man, can I come in?" The Nun thinks for a moment and says "yes that's fine". The door opens and the man says.

Nice tits, where you want me to hang the blinds?

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it

I do it just in case there's a salad dressing

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My next door neighbour is an inconsiderate asshole. He knocked on my door at 3AM last night!! 3AM!!

Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce pause this joke for a word from our sponsor, Raid Shadow Legends

Knock Knock

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Door mom.

Door mom who?

Door mom who, I've come to bargain!

Before the surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...

It was an ether/oar situation.

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A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at the door.

**A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to th...

My now knocked up GF just told me that she's an anti-vaxxerr

so I only have to pay for 4 years of child support instead of 18.

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Some asshole knocked on my door today, telling me I needed to be “saved” or else I would “burn”. I told him to fuck off.

Fucking fireman.

I went to a psychic and knocked on her door...

She asked “who is it”
So I left.

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An attractive young woman is showering when she hears a knock at the door.

She runs to the bathroom window and shouts, “Who's there?” “It's the blind man.” comes the reply. Obviously she now doesn't need to get dressed as it's just a blind man at the door, so she runs down and opens the door, stark naked. He says: “Nice tits. I'm here to fit your blinds.”

A farmer is expecting his 3 daughters dates to arrive, so he hears a knock on a door, decides to grab his shotgun for intimidation, and opens it.

The first date arrives and says,
“Hello there! My name is Lance, and I’m here to take Chance out to the dance.”

So, the farmer calls his daughter, Chance, and they go off together. The another knock is heard, so he answers it again, shotgun in hand.

“Hey there, it’s me, Dave, and I’...

‌‌A woma‌‌n stoppe‌‌d by‌‌, unannounced‌‌, a‌‌t he‌‌r son'‌‌s house‌‌. Sh‌‌e knocke‌‌d o‌‌n th‌‌e doo‌‌r the‌‌n immediatel‌‌y walke‌‌d in.

Sh‌‌e wa‌‌s shocke‌‌d t‌‌o se‌‌e he‌‌r daughter-in-la‌‌w lyin‌‌g o‌‌n th‌‌e couch‌‌, totall‌‌y naked‌‌. Sof‌‌t musi‌‌c wa‌‌s playing‌‌, an‌‌d th‌‌e arom‌‌a o‌‌f perfum‌‌e fille‌‌d th‌‌e room‌‌. "Wha‌‌t ar‌‌e yo‌‌u doing?!‌‌", sh‌‌e asked.

"I'‌‌m waitin‌‌g fo‌‌r Mik‌‌e t‌‌o com‌‌e hom‌‌e fro‌‌...

My dad always made me feel special because he made up knock knock jokes just for me, but I couldn't always understand them.

Last time I saw him he said:

> Knock knock

Who's there?

> You're a mountain

You're a mountain, who?

> You're a mountain to nothing, son!

I think my new Simpsons shirt is a knock-off

It says “don’t halve a cow, man”.

They really butchered the catchphrase.

Wife hears a knock on the door...it’s the police:

Police: We regret to inform you your husband died today. It was a work accident.

Wife: Noooo! (Starts crying) whyyyyyy! Please tell me how!!

Police: unfortunately he tripped and drowned at the beer tank of the beer factory were he worked.

Wife: oh my godddd!! What a painful deat...

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young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daug...

Knock knock. Whos there? Chuga Chuga Chuga Chuga Who

Chuga Chuga Chuga Chuga Who Who?

Alllllll Aboard!

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Knock Knock

"Who's there?"

"2020"



"Honey lock the fucking door."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian bin man knocks at the door of a Chinese guy

And asks 'where's ya bin mate' The guy answers 'I bin watching TV!' The Ozzie asks 'na mate where's ya wheelie bin' The guy hangs his head and says 'I wheelie been wanking'

What sea creature likes knock knock jokes?

A Knocktopus

Our building has a female janitor. At the end of her shift she knocked on my door with a bag of weed

I thanked her for her thinking of me, but told her I stay away from high maintenance women

KNOCK KNOCK

Who's There?

KNOCK KNOCK

Who's There? Who's Knocking?

KNOCK KNOCK intensifies....

Why can't I see you? Where are you hiding?

*Dies in an Earthquake*

Knock knock

Who's there

Axolotl

Axolotl who?

you sure do Axolotl questions.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

A young salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen answers, dressed in only a slinky negligee. She asks "Do you like what you see?" Slack jawed, the man finally manages to stutter "uh... yes, very much!"

She says "Quickly, step inside, I think I hear someone coming."

Once inside the beautiful woman drops her negligee and is completely naked. With a smile she asks "What do you think is the most sensitive part of my body?"

The salesman says "I guess that would have to be your ears."...

My 4 year old daughter told me the joke today. Knock knock, who's there? Dinosaurp, Dinosaurp who?

Haha you said dinosaur poo.

A guy is sitting home alone, when suddenly he hears a knock on the door.

He gets up to answer. There are two policemen outside. They ask him if he's married. He says yes and the policemen want to see the photo of the wife. He gets one and shows it to them.
The policemen exchange sad looks and one of them says:
"I'm very sorry, but it looks like your wife was hi...

Knock Knock

Who's there?

The doorbell sales man.

Knock knock...

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?


Warm midnight falling.
Stars shining, dancing brightly.
Peaceful all at once

A man is sitting inside his apartment, when a cop comes knocking at the door.

The man opens the door for the cop, only to find the cop staring disapprovingly at him.

"Sir" the cop starts " there have been reports about drug usage in this apartment complex. May I come in?"

"I rather you didn't" said the man.

"Listen" said the cop "I could go through the lo...

A tramp, seeking shelter on a freezing night, knocks on George and the Dragon Inn. A hefty lady answers the door and her expletives send him scampering. Desperate, he tries again minutes later.

"May... may I speak to George, please?"

Knock, knock

*shouting thru door*
“Just leave it outside, Thank you!”

(2020 update)

Why doesn’t America knock?

Because Freedom Rings. Happy Independence Day!

The man who invented knock-knock jokes

should get a no bell prize.

Soooo my 4 year old nephew just told me this. He's a little nerd but it made me chuckle. Knock knock...

Who's there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No idiot... Cows go moo!

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Knock Knock..

Well shit, I just broke my phone...

A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool

I don't know what they're filling the pool with, because he abruptly left when I offered him a glass of water

A Jehovah’s Witness knocked at my door this morning.

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said

Two Leprechauns Knock on the Convent Door (long)

The Mother Superior opens the door and the first leprechaun doffs his hat then stammers and stutters, "T-t-t-top o' the mornin' to ye, sister!"

She replies, "Top o' the mornin' to you, Seamus. What can I do for you this morning?"

"W-w-w-w-well, sister, I-I-I-I'd b-be after a-a-a-a-ski...

I always knock on the door and don't use the doorbell.

I think i deserve a Nobel prize.

Knock knock...

Who's there?

It's Jesus... let me in!

Why?

So I can save you!

Save me from what?

From what I'm going to do to you if you don't let me in!

Mr Grasshopper and Mr Centipede had plans to go jogging today. Centipede knocks on Grasshoppers door and nobody answers.

After a coupled failed attempts Grasshopper this time knocked while yelling “Mr Centipede! You home? Hello?” Still nobody answers.

Grasshopper then starts ringing the doorbell yelling even louder in a loud voice “ You said 10am now where are you!!??”

Mr Centipede comes to the door a...

Medical joke: Knock Knock

Who’s there?
HIPPA
HIPPA who?
I wish I could tell you

I knocked on my father's door in the middle of the night, begging him to let me in. I said, "Please let me stay here dad, I'm a wanted man."

He said, "That's impossible son. You weren't even a wanted child."

Knock Knock..

Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.

Knock kock

*who’s there?*

Goliath

*Goliath who?*

Goliath down, you’re lookin tired!

What’s it called when you knock up everyone in your neighborhood in one night while disguising yourself?

Trick or Treating during Halloween.

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While having sex with my wife, the next door neighbour knocked on our front door.

You couldn't believe my surprise when I opened it.

Are knock knock jokes allowed?

Knock knock...
"Who's there?"
I eat mop....

A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.

The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"

His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"

If you get an email with the subject "knock knock", dont open it.

It's a Jehovah Witness working from home.

Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?

It was a bowlin’ ace.

What do you call it when a British man knocks you up and leaves?

Honey Nut Cheerio.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Mary.

Mary who?

Mary Christmas!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Anna.

Anna who?

Anna happy new year!

Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit :)

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Here Is a bad knock knock joke

"Knock knock"
"Who is there?"
" Who. "
"Who Who?"
"Oh shit, an owl!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Pizza. "Pizza who?"

Pete's a fucking asshole. He promised me that he would cover my shifts during this outbreak, but apparently we weren't eligible for government benefits due to some shady shit in his past. So instead of handling it like a GOOD ~~manager~~ HUMAN BEING, he decides to double up my shifts. Which, of cour...

Knock knock

Just leave it on the porch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My neighbour knocked on my front door.

"Would you mind looking after the kids today?" she asked.

"Maybe," I replied. "How come?"

"Because one of yours is taking a shit on our front lawn!" she yelled.

Did you hear about the guy who made up the knock knock joke?

He won a "no bell" prize

Knock knock. Who’s there? Iowa. Iowa who?

Iowalotta money to the IRS.

Knock Kncok

Who's there?

Police brutality

Police brutal...

STOP RESISTING!

Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"

"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."

"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"

"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"

The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D...

Knock knock

Who’s there?
A little old lady..
A liddle old lady whooo?

And all this time I never knew you could yodel

Knock knock

- Who's there?

- Owls

- Owls who?

- Yeah, they do

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I heard a knock at the door this morning, and when I answered it, a 6ft tall cockroach-looking thing was standing there, clearly very angry. He called me a prick and then punched me right in the face!

Apparently theres a nasty bug going around

"Knock, knock" "Who's there?" "Norway" "Norway who?"

"Norway in hell Epstein killed himself!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?
Cow goes.
Cow goes who?
No, cow goes "Moo!"

1: Knock Knock! 2: Who's There?

\[5 seconds of silence\]

2: Oh it's a ding dong ditch(ding dong dash).

A comedians daughter made a new type of ''knock knock'' joke

Then she asks if he will remember her in a second

He answers ''yes''

She asks if he will remember her in a minute

He answers ''yes''

She asks if he will remember her in an hour

He answers ''yes''

She says ''knock knock''

He answers ''who's there?''...

Knock knock.

Who's there?


Ah.


Ah who?


Warewolf of London.

Knock knock

-Who is there?

-Daisy

-Daisy who?

-Daisy me rolling

My favorite Knock knock joke

Who's there

I fling mop

I fling mop who?

You dirty little monkey!

I hate it when people come knocking on your door telling you that, "You must be saved or you'll burn"

Stupid Firemen.

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NSFW A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma..

A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma when she notices that the patients heart rate and breathing increase whenever she cleans the genital area. She gets the idea that oral sex might actually revive her. She calls the patient's husband over and explains that oral sex might revive her,...

Whoever invented the knock knock joke should get an award.

Like no bell prize.

Knock knock joke I made when I was 10

A: Knock knock
B: Who’s there?
A: Whatsa
B: Whatsa who?
A: A tiny person who lives on a dust speck

Lame I know, but I was proud of coming up with that

My son told me this joke when he was two. "Knock knock..."

"Who's there?"

"Boo."

"Boo who?"

"CHICAGO"

He's almost 13 now, so... even if you downvote me straight to Hell, this works out.

Because I can just give him a lecture over why it's all his fault, and then I will be a successful parent today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Knock knock!”

“Who’s there?”
“Grandad.”
“Shit, stop the funeral.”

Knock Knock

Q: Who's there?
A: Control Freak.
Q: Con...
A: Okay, now you say, "Control Freak who?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock

Fuck off it's lockdown

knock knock

knock knock

whos there?

ya

ya who?

why are you excited?



knock knock

whos there?

woo

woo who?


why are you still so excited???

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock, knock. Who’s there? The Police!

- But I didn’t call the Police! I called for prostitutes!
- We know; your neighbours called!
- So go fuck my neighbours!

A Jehovas Witness knocked on my door the other day...

I said "Come in. Sit down. What would you like to talk about?"

He said "I don't know. I've never gotten this far before."

If quarantine is knocking you down here are some things you can try to get back up again:

Drink a whiskey drink

Drink a vodka drink

Drink a lager drink

Drink a cider drink

Sing the songs that remind you of the good times

Sing the songs that remind you of the better times

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Urine.


Urine who?


Urine the bathroom!?



Just made that up....while in the bathroom. Don’t mind me.

A quick knock knock joke

Me: Knock knock

Reddit: Who's there?

Me: Wu

Reddit: Wu, who?

Me: Woohoo, it's my blue triangle day!

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

Knock knock

-Who’s there

-World Health Organization

-WHO?

Knock knock

Who's there


What's up


What's up who??



That brown sticky thing that comes out of your ass

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?

Knock Knock

-who’s there?

-Doorman

-Doorman who?

-Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Wakanda.

Wakanda who?

Wakanda bell do you have, it don't work

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