Best knock knock joke ever..

Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and...

Knock knock

Who’s there?


Deja who?

Knock knock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock, “Who’s there?” Europe. “Europe who?”

Euro-piece of shit.

A knock knock joke on a cosmological scale

- Knock knock.
- W h o ’ s t h e r e ?
- E N T R O P Y .
- E T R P Y w o ?
- e n

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"


"FBI who-"


A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’

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I was having a shit on the train when some bloke knocked on the door.

He said ‘can I see your ticket please?’

‘Not right now, I’m having a shit’ I shouted back.

‘I don’t believe you, can you slide it under the door?’ He snapped back annoyedly

‘Sure thing, no problem. The yellow bits are sweet corn’ I said

My little sister just learned how to crack knock knock jokes and she just used this on me

Her: knock knock

Me: who's there?

Her: eye lo

Me: eye lo who?

Her: eye lo you

This is isn't funny but I had to share my lil 2 year old's first knock knock joke

Knock - Knock

Whose there?


**Ya** who?

**Dot com**

Knock Knock

"Who's there?"

"Door mom"

"Door mom who?"

"I've come to bargain"

before my surgery my anaesthesiologist offered to knock me out with either gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether / oar situation.

What prize do you get for a really good knock knock joke?

A Nobel prize.

"Knock, knock" "Who's there?" "Norway" "Norway who?"

"Norway in hell Epstein killed himself!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveling salesman knocks on a door and a little boy answers.

The boy is wearing a women’s nightgown, drinking brandy from a snifter, and smoking a joint.

Stunned, the salesman says, ‘excuse me, are your parents home?’

The little boy replies,
‘What the fuck do you think?’

The Person Who Invented The Knock-Knock Joke

Should get a no-bell prize

Knock Knock. Who is it?

"It's the police. "

"What do you want?"

Police : "We just want to talk."

"How many of you are there?"

Police : " Two."

"Talk to each other then."

Knock knock. Who's there? Gwen. Gwen who?

Gwen find another joke, this one's rubbish.

A man was sitting in traffic when a cop knocked on his window.

He rolled down the window and asked the officer: "Why is there such a traffic jam?"

Officer: "A group of terrorists kidnapped a few politicians and are blocking the road. They have threatened to burn the politicians alive in 1000 gallons of gasoline if they don't get a 5 million dollar ransom...

One night, a Boston police officer knocked on a woman's door.

"Ma'am", he said, removing his hat, "I'm here about your husband. We have bad and good news".

"Please, give me the bad news first", the woman replies.

The officer replied: "I'm sorry, but somone stabbed your husband, cut his skin off and threw his corpse in the harbor."

The woma...

Knock knock

Who's there?


Bam, who?

No. It's pronounced bamboo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway an...

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid Firemen

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Some asshole knocked on my door today, telling me I needed to be “saved” or else I would “burn”. I told him to fuck off.

Stupid fireman.

Cute knock knock with a twist

My little sister (8)
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Nobody who?
Why are you asking who’s there if nobody is there?

I really think it is intelligent of her and actually funny!

She told me to tell my Reddit friends. So...

*knock knock*

Man: "I don't expect any guest"

Spanish Inquisition: "We know!"

Knock knock

Who's there?


Dishes, who?

This is Sean Connery.

Sorry, my 4y old brother wanted me to tell this joke here

Him: Knock, knock

Me: Who's there?

Him: Idiot

Me: Idiot who?


He probably doesn't understand downvotes so I will have no Karma left after this

EDIT: Wow! So many people upvoted this and I even got Silver! I'll tell my brother the Internet lov...

Knock knock!

Who's there?
How who?
Werewolves of London, how whooooo...

Dave and Colin had a friendly rivalry spanning many years. They played a drinking game where they would catch a mosquito each, knock it out and put it in their left ear. The first mosquito to wake up designated the winner. As I watched one night Dave jumped up, pointed at his friends glass and said

Fill Colins! I can feel it humming in my ear tonight

I only knock up anti-vaxxers

Because 8 years of child support is better than 18 years.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

An author

An author who?

An author joke like this and you won't come back, huh?

Knock, knock!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!

Knock Knock Joke #1

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Wooden Shoe.

Wooden Shoe who?

Wooden Shoe want to upvote this joke?

My 4yo told me a dad joke: What happens when you knock over a fruit stand?

An apple-anche.

I got knocked off my bike last night by a lunatic driving a salt lorry through deep snow. You complete idiotic moron I shouted

Through gritted teeth

Knock! Knock!

"Who's there?"


"oh, hi Mark!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandma used to tell us this joke. She’d say, “knock knock,” we’d say, “who’s there?”

Then she’d say “I can’t remember!” and start to cry. And we’d laugh and laugh to make her feel better, but she was shit at telling jokes.

5 Guys From Knock-Knock Jokes

5 guys--Boo, Woo, You, Ach, and Who--meet up for lunch. They describe their experiences knocking on random people's doors. The conversation goes as follows:

Boo: Whenever I knock on someone's door, the person who answers the door is crying.

Woo: Whenever I knock on someone's door, t...

One of my next-door neighbors is a 90-year-old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. Every single morning at 9 a.m. he knocks on my door and he asks me if I have seen his wife. Which means that every single morning at 9 a.m.

I have to explain to a 90-year-old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now, I’ve thought about moving. I’ve thought about not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it just to see the smile on his face.

So my neighbor knocked my mailbox over.

I said to him:"This needs to be reposted."

Knock knock

So, my nephew comes running up to me super excited to tell me his new knock knock joke.

Me: what's your joke?
Nephew: it's the greatest knock knock joke ever!
Me: ok, tell me
Nephew: okay but you have to start it off
Me: *confused* knock knock?
Nephew: who's there?


The guy who invented knock knock jokes

really deserves the no bell prize.

A joke walks into a bar, the bartender smiles and says "knock knock"

"Shut up kevin, I'm off duty, get me a beer."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard my neighbours shagging for what seemed like ages last night, moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall......turns out her elderly mother had fallen and cracked her head and was knocking on the wall with her walking stick for help.....

feel a bit guilty about the wank now.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Maya"

"Maya who?"

"Maya Ha Haaa~"

P.S. I'm sorry

knock knock

Who’s there?

Control freak


Okay, now you say control freak who

Knock Knock

Home owner: "Who's there?"

Knocker person: "Doctor"

Home owner: "Doctor Who?"

Knocker person: well this is bloody cliche isn't it?

I always knock on the fridge door before I open it

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

Person 1: Knock knock

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: Britney Spears

Person 2: Britney Spears who?

Person 1: Knock knock

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: Oops I did it again!

Knock knock

Knock knock

Who's there


Daisy who

Daisy me rollin, they hatin..

Knock Knock

\-Whos there?


\-Getuda who?


My favorite knock knock joke

"knock knock"

Who's there?

"Nine eleven"

Nine eleven who?

"You said you'd never forget"

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A witcher hypnotises a vagrant and mistakenly knocks out his teeth.

It was Axii Dental.

A little girl knocks on my door and said Brick or Breat. I said what are you dressed up as? She said a Birate.

A birate you mean a pirate She said ya a birate. I asked if you are a pirate were are your buccaneers you know your band of cut throat's and theaves, were are your buccaneers? she said under my bucking hat give me the bucking candy

Today a man knocked on my door.

He asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks,
"What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fir...

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the USA?

Because Freedom rings

If you’ve got kids this a pretty good knock knock joke

Knock knock

Who’s there?


Europe who?

No you’re a poo!

Last Halloween there was a knock at the door

I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, "Honey there's a witch at the door. What shall I do?"
She shouted back, "Just give her some candy and tell her to get lost."
My mother-in-law hasn't spoken to me since.

Knock Knock

-Who’s there?

Broken pencil

-Broken pencil who?

Nevermind this is pointless.

Knock knock

Who’s there?
Doris who?
Doris locked, thats why I’m knocking.

"Remember that funny knock-knock joke?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

A man hears a knock at his door, and is surprised to see

a polar bear standing before him.

"Hi," says the white bear, "I'm the bear of good news. A distant relative of yours passed away a while ago, but it turns out he entrusted a large fortune to you in his will."

"Great," says the man. "Thanks for the good news."

Later, the man hear...

My 5 year old just got me with this one last night right before we fell asleep:

Him: Dad, will you remember me tomorrow?

Me: Of course!

Him: Will you remember me in a week?

Me: Yes.

Him: Will you remember me in a month?

Me: Yes..

Him: Will you remember me in a year?

Me: Yes.

Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Q: You are in Spanish Inn and hear a knock on the door, who do you expect?

You: The Spanish Inquisition?

A: It’s Room Service. How could you get that wrong, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious, shove a foreign object up my ass and film the whole thing.

Or as my doctor insists on calling it, a colonoscopy

A drunk man runs into a bar and immediately gets knocked out.

No. Seriously guys. He "literally runs into a bar".

A guy just knocked on my door.

I opened it and he was about 3 foot 3 inches tall.

I said, “Who are you?”

He replied, “I’m the meter man.”

My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 am!

Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?


Woo Who?

Why are you so exited, it’s just a knock knock joke

I got fired from my job as a changing room attendant for opening doors uninvited. They called me “the Knock Less monster.”

Because I was always lookin for free tiddy.

Knock knock

Whos there?
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep.

I don't know why people knock dad jokes, women love them.

Otherwise they'd be called bachelor jokes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to visit my old hometown the other day and found the house I grew up in. I knocked on the door and asked the owners if I could have a look around. They said "NO!" and closed the door in my face.

My parents can be such jerks sometimes.

Why should you always knock before entering the Hamburger Helper Mascot’s room?

He might beef stroganoff.

Cold War Era Joke: This Russian dude had a talking parrot. A very special parrot who loved cursing the regime, and the Communist party leaders. One day, hard knocks on the door, "KGB, open up!". The guy hides the parrot in the freezer. The KGB searches the apartment and cannot find the parrot.

The KGB agents give the guy a warning. Once they leave, he runs to the freezer takes out the shivering bird and hugs it and tells the parrot to curse the revolution. The parrot is mum. "Com'on curse Brezhniev , curse the KGB. The parrot looks at the guy and says "I've just been to Siberia! I'm not t...

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A guy knocks on the door of his girlfriend’s house

But her dad answers the door. The guy says “Hi, I’m Tobias. I’m here to fuck your daughter.”

The dad goes “TO WHAT?!?!”

The guy says “TOBIAS”

Knock knock. - Who's there?


X-men who?

Caitlyn Jenner

Sry... I had to take this joke out of my head

A policeman knocked on my door.

Police: I’m sorry sir but it looks like your wife was hit by a bus...

Me: I know but she has a wonderful personality.


Come in

My car can speed faster than bullets, drive under water and knock down evil like bowling pins.

It's a Porsche to be reckoned with

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings

The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my best friend who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him...

TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween

I guess they don't appreciate strangers knocking on their doors

A weird plant knocked on my door, preaching at me to ditch my current moisturiser.

I slammed the door in its face. Damn jojoba’s witnesses.

-Neutrino. Knock knock.

\-We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.

\-Hipsters liked neutrinos before they arrived.

\-I wrote a speed of light joke...but a neutrino beat me to it.

\-A. To prove particles can travel faster than light Q. Why did ...

A farmer drove over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door...

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is your mom or dad home?” The farmer asked the boy

“No, they went in to town.” The boy replied

“Well, how about your brother Howard?” The farmer asked

“No, he went with mom and dad.” The boy said

The farmer stood there for a minut...

From my 5 year old. Knock knock...

Who's there?
Cow who?
Cows don't say "who", they say "moo"!

I was cracking up :) such pride

A tomato officer with its team walks to Salad's house and knocks on the door.

"Lettuce in!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?


Hike who?

I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!

What did Paprika say when Coriander knocked on his door?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A newspaper boy knocks on a woman's door to collect his money

The woman answers the door wearing a very sheer negligee. He asks for his two dollars and she says she has no cash on her, but maybe they can work something out.

The newspaper boy sighs and unzips his pants to reveal an 9 inch cock. They get down to business but the newspaper boy is only pu...

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