UPJOKE
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A guy takes his wife out for the night and they end up at a disco where there’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, every dance move going. The wife turns to her husband and says...

“See that guy on the dance floor? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

The husband replies, “It looks like he’s still celebrating.”

What did the cop say when he entered the disco club?

"Get down!"

I was at my school disco..

Walking across the hall to get a drink. One of my classmates came up to me and said ‘dude, your shoes are on smoking hot!’

I gave them a smile and kept walking to get a drink. Another classmate then approached me and said ‘hey bro, you’re on fire tonight!’

I gave them a wink and some ...

Went to a seafood disco the other day

Pulled a mussel

What's the difference between Shakespeare and Panic At The Disco?

Shakespeare writes Tragedies not Sins.

Went to a disco for the blind.

I danced like nobody was watching.

Russian at the disco.

Russian at the disco. A pretty girl at the bar next to him. After a while, a Turk comes up to the bar and says: - "You're hitting on my girlfriend. In a moment I see you outside and we'll handle it like men. A Russian comes out in front of the disco, looks at 50 Turks with knives in their hands. Aft...

I asked a girl at the disco if she’d like to dance.

She said, “Yes”, so I said, “Great, can I have your chair?”

Barbie

One day, a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on display in the front window?" The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have Work-Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie f...

What do you call a mosh pit at a disco?

A Cluster Funk.

[OC] My friends and I are starting a disco group. We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.

We call ourselves... The Pillage People.

I walked into a disco, and there were Orcs, Trolls, and Nazgûl doing their best moves.

It was Mordor on the dance floor.

What's the difference between someone out in the sun all day and a large-haired disco dancer with colorful perspiration?

One sweats profusely and the other fro-sweats pucely.

I hosted a silent disco party in my apartment

I got a complaint from the mime next door.

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I went to a disco last night.

I went to a disco last night. They played The Twist, I did the Twist. They played Jump, I jumped. They played Come on Eileen...I got kicked out for that one.

EDIT: Added the beginning of the joke in here because somehow the name is Donald Trump now. What the fuck happened?!?!?

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What do disco dancers use to stimulate sexual desire?

Afro-disiacs

thanks, i'll be here all week, unfortunately

I was at a Lord Of The Rings themed disco last night.

It was Mordor on the dance-floor.

It's just coming in to winter where I live, so I pitched a tent and put a disco ball inside.

Because now is the winter of my disco tent.

Why was Panic! At the disco so worried about carona virus?

They know its a fever you cant sweat out

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We got in trouble at school for starting up a silent disco

The principal said it wasn’t aloud

What did the disco goose say to the abrasive scarecrow?

You're scaring me, let me dance the night away.

What do vehicles do in discos?

They brake-dance

I misplaced my watch at a disco

So I tried to find it.

I saw it on the dancefloor, being stood on by a guy. That's when I noticed that he was trying to grope her and she obviously wasn't enjoying it.

I walked up to him, tapped him on the back and delivered a swift kick to his balls. He fell over, moaning in pain.
...

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi...

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi were arguing as to who were the best at their job. So they decided to go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it to their respective religion. After several hours, they met up again at a local disco to share the result of their venture.

The priest...

My friends and I started an emo salsa band

We call ourselves HisPanic at the Disco

I have such issues with Panic! At The Disco.

They’re teaching people to follow a single path when really, you can panic anywhere.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco

He had no body to go with

I just got back from a bulimic disco

The place was heaving!

I went to a disco last night (variation)

The DJ said, "Sing with me". I sang with him.
The DJ said, "Put your hands together". I put my hands together while singing along.

The DJ said, "Come on everyone". I was thrown out of the Disco.

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I just participated in a silent disco.

Well, I got drunk at the morgue.

Another joke for my cake day.

The sand crab and the horse shoe crab are the best of friends. They do everything together.

Then one day the horse shoe crab dies. He goes up to heaven and Saint Peter meets him at the gates. Saint Peter asks him if he has any questions and he says no. So Saint Peter gives him a harp, a...

I went camping in the snow.

As the snow melted, water leaked in. It was the winter of my discount tent.

What do you call 500 epileptics at a disco?

A foam party!

what do you get when you throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptic kids?

a silent disco

Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos?

Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam were best friends and they did everything together. The only difference between them was that Larry was the nicest lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good...

Larry and Sam did so much together, that they even died together.

Larry went to Heaven and Sam went to Hell.

Larry was doing well in Heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said, "Larry, you know you are the nicest clam we ever had up here. Everyone likes you, but you seem to b...

The Italian government has cancelled the town of Ferno’s annual fiesta

This year there’ll be no disco in ferno

If Panic! At the disco were Mexican...

They would be called Hispanics at the disco

Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: M...

It would be bad if someone got killed at a prom

We would have a panic at the disco!!

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Two lip-reading deaf guys walk into a pub.

One turns to the other and says (in a mongy deaf voice), "You go find a seat...I'll get the drinks in".
He walks up to the bar and says, "Bartender, could I please have two pints of lager?"
"Certainly," replies the barman, "That'll be £10."
"Ten pounds?" gasps the deaf guy, "That's a...

Someone threw my 70s records on the fire.

It was a disco inferno.

Top 10 worst jokes!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."


3.Two peanuts walk into a ba...

I lost my ABBA cd

Where did the disco?

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Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

30 Seconds To Mars for only 5 Seconds Of Summer?

I'd better get my Nickelback or there'll Panic! At The Disco.

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band?

They're called 'Hispanic at the Disco'

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I was at a party the other night.

I walked into the rager eager for a drink to quell my thirst, it was 9pm and things were just starting to heat up. A few steps through the door and I was greeted by a petit partygoer with flashing lights in her hair, she said something but I couldn't hear her over the DJ, but I wasn't really interes...

Omegle joke

Guy 1: Hey!

Guy 2: Hey.

Guy 1: I'm pretty sad, can you give me a joke?

Guy 2: Sure! Knock Knock.

Guy 1: Who's there?

Guy 2: Disco.

Guy 1: Disco who?

Guy 2: Disconnected.

'Your conversational partner has been disconnected.'

Guy 1: ...

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If ghosts were real..

my basement would be like a depressing school disco

I ran into a dance club for people with back problems

It was called the Slipped Disco

There was a scared Spanish man at a club

Hispanic at the disco.

When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me

I was never scared though, I loved disco music

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