What did the cop say when he entered the disco club?

"Get down!"

Russian at the disco.

Russian at the disco. A pretty girl at the bar next to him. After a while, a Turk comes up to the bar and says: - "You're hitting on my girlfriend. In a moment I see you outside and we'll handle it like men. A Russian comes out in front of the disco, looks at 50 Turks with knives in their hands. Aft...

What's the difference between Shakespeare and Panic At The Disco?

Shakespeare writes Tragedies, not Sins.

what do you get when you throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptic kids?

a silent disco

Barbie

One day, a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on display in the front window?" The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have Work-Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie f...

Why did the police officer arrest the disco dancer?

Because he was killing the dance floor.

What's the difference between someone out in the sun all day and a large-haired disco dancer with colorful perspiration?

One sweats profusely and the other fro-sweats pucely.

I was at my school disco..

Walking across the hall to get a drink. One of my classmates came up to me and said ‘dude, your shoes are on smoking hot!’

I gave them a smile and kept walking to get a drink. Another classmate then approached me and said ‘hey bro, you’re on fire tonight!’

I gave them a wink and some ...

Went to a disco for the blind.

I danced like nobody was watching.

A husband took his wife to a disco on the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor busting tile. He was breakdancing, moonwalking, doing back flips - the works. The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Her husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

I walked into a disco, and there were Orcs, Trolls, and Nazgûl doing their best moves.

It was Mordor on the dance floor.

Went to a seafood disco last night

Pulled a mussel.

It's just coming in to winter where I live, so I pitched a tent and put a disco ball inside.

Because now is the winter of my disco tent.

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I went to a disco last night.

I went to a disco last night. They played The Twist, I did the Twist. They played Jump, I jumped. They played Come on Eileen...I got kicked out for that one.

EDIT: Added the beginning of the joke in here because somehow the name is Donald Trump now. What the fuck happened?!?!?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do disco dancers use to stimulate sexual desire?

Afro-disiacs

thanks, i'll be here all week, unfortunately

I was at a Lord Of The Rings themed disco last night.

It was Mordor on the dance-floor.

I asked a girl at the disco if she’d like to dance.

She said, “Yes”, so I said, “Great, can I have your chair?”

What do you call a mosh pit at a disco?

A Cluster Funk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We got in trouble at school for starting up a silent disco

The principal said it wasn’t aloud

I hosted a silent disco party in my apartment

I got a complaint from the mime next door.

[OC] My friends and I are starting a disco group. We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.

We call ourselves... The Pillage People.

I misplaced my watch at a disco

So I tried to find it.

I saw it on the dancefloor, being stood on by a guy. That's when I noticed that he was trying to grope her and she obviously wasn't enjoying it.

I walked up to him, tapped him on the back and delivered a swift kick to his balls. He fell over, moaning in pain.
...

Why was Panic! At the disco so worried about carona virus?

They know its a fever you cant sweat out

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam were best friends and they did everything together. The only difference between them was that Larry was the nicest lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good...

Larry and Sam did so much together, that they even died together.

Larry went to Heaven and Sam went to Hell.

Larry was doing well in Heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said, "Larry, you know you are the nicest clam we ever had up here. Everyone likes you, but you seem to b...

What do vehicles do in discos?

They brake-dance

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I just participated in a silent disco.

Well, I got drunk at the morgue.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco

He had no body to go with

I just got back from a bulimic disco

The place was heaving!

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi...

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi were arguing as to who were the best at their job. So they decided to go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it to their respective religion. After several hours, they met up again at a local disco to share the result of their venture.

The priest...

I have such issues with Panic! At The Disco.

They’re teaching people to follow a single path when really, you can panic anywhere.

What do you call 500 epileptics at a disco?

A foam party!

I went to a disco last night (variation)

The DJ said, "Sing with me". I sang with him.
The DJ said, "Put your hands together". I put my hands together while singing along.

The DJ said, "Come on everyone". I was thrown out of the Disco.

Another joke for my cake day.

The sand crab and the horse shoe crab are the best of friends. They do everything together.

Then one day the horse shoe crab dies. He goes up to heaven and Saint Peter meets him at the gates. Saint Peter asks him if he has any questions and he says no. So Saint Peter gives him a harp, a...

Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos?

Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.

The Italian government has cancelled the town of Ferno’s annual fiesta

This year there’ll be no disco in ferno

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two lip-reading deaf guys walk into a pub.

One turns to the other and says (in a mongy deaf voice), "You go find a seat...I'll get the drinks in".
He walks up to the bar and says, "Bartender, could I please have two pints of lager?"
"Certainly," replies the barman, "That'll be £10."
"Ten pounds?" gasps the deaf guy, "That's a...

I went camping in the snow.

As the snow melted, water leaked in. It was the winter of my discount tent.

What’s a Mexicans favorite band?

Hispanic at the Disco!

It would be bad if someone got killed at a prom

We would have a panic at the disco!!

I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

So there was a 70's themed club playing 2000's music

When a man walked with a gun and fired a few rounds into the air, but nothing changed


Because there was already panic at the disco

30 Seconds To Mars for only 5 Seconds Of Summer?

I'd better get my Nickelback or there'll Panic! At The Disco.

Someone threw my 70s records on the fire.

It was a disco inferno.

Top 10 worst jokes!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."


3.Two peanuts walk into a ba...

I lost my ABBA cd

Where did the disco?

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band?

They're called 'Hispanic at the Disco'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at a party the other night.

I walked into the rager eager for a drink to quell my thirst, it was 9pm and things were just starting to heat up. A few steps through the door and I was greeted by a petit partygoer with flashing lights in her hair, she said something but I couldn't hear her over the DJ, but I wasn't really interes...

Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: M...

Omegle joke

Guy 1: Hey!

Guy 2: Hey.

Guy 1: I'm pretty sad, can you give me a joke?

Guy 2: Sure! Knock Knock.

Guy 1: Who's there?

Guy 2: Disco.

Guy 1: Disco who?

Guy 2: Disconnected.

'Your conversational partner has been disconnected.'

Guy 1: ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If ghosts were real..

my basement would be like a depressing school disco

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Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

I ran into a dance club for people with back problems

It was called the Slipped Disco

There was a scared Spanish man at a club

Hispanic at the disco.

When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me

I was never scared though, I loved disco music

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