Went to a seafood disco last weekend. But ended up going home early though...

..pulled a mussel.

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What do disco dancers use to stimulate sexual desire?

Afro-disiacs

thanks, i'll be here all week, unfortunately

What’s a Mexicans favorite band?

Hispanic at the Disco!

Went to a disco for the blind.

I danced like nobody was watching.

30 Seconds To Mars for only 5 Seconds Of Summer?

I'd better get my Nickelback or there'll Panic! At The Disco.

I was at my school disco..

Walking across the hall to get a drink. One of my classmates came up to me and said ‘dude, your shoes are on smoking hot!’

I gave them a smile and kept walking to get a drink. Another classmate then approached me and said ‘hey bro, you’re on fire tonight!’

I gave them a wink and some ...

What do you call a mosh pit at a disco?

A Cluster Funk.

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We got in trouble at school for starting up a silent disco

The principal said it wasn’t aloud

I was at a Lord Of The Rings themed disco last night.

It was Mordor on the dance-floor.

What do vehicles do in discos?

They brake-dance

A guy takes his wife out for the night and they end up at a disco where there’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, every dance move going...

The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy on the dance floor? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”


The husband replies, “It looks like he’s still celebrating.”

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I went to a disco last night.

I went to a disco last night. They played The Twist, I did the Twist. They played Jump, I jumped. They played Come on Eileen...I got kicked out for that one.

EDIT: Added the beginning of the joke in here because somehow the name is Donald Trump now. What the fuck happened?!?!?

I hosted a silent disco party in my apartment

I got a complaint from the mime next door.

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Two lip-reading deaf guys walk into a pub.

One turns to the other and says (in a mongy deaf voice), "You go find a seat...I'll get the drinks in".
He walks up to the bar and says, "Bartender, could I please have two pints of lager?"
"Certainly," replies the barman, "That'll be £10."
"Ten pounds?" gasps the deaf guy, "That's a...

I have such issues with Panic! At The Disco.

They’re teaching people to follow a single path when really, you can panic anywhere.

[OC] My friends and I are starting a disco group. We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.

We call ourselves... The Pillage People.

At the disco:

A man walks up to a woman and asks: "Would you like to dance?"

Woman: "Yes, i would like that very much."

Man: "Ok, go dancing then. Meanwhile i will chat with your friend."

Two Chinese brothers

come to New York in the seventies and open a disco. Sam Poo and Sam Pan, they do really well and the disco is a big hit.

After 10 years Sam Poo dies and goes to heaven, he has been in heaven a while when St Peter see's Sam Poo and asks whats wrong you look sad?

I am missing my brother...

Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco

He had no body to go with

What do you call 500 epileptics at a disco?

A foam party!

I just got back from a bulimic disco

The place was heaving!

At the disco:

"So whats a cute girl like you doing all by herself?"

"I had to fart"

I misplaced my watch at a disco

So I tried to find it.

I saw it on the dancefloor, being stood on by a guy. That's when I noticed that he was trying to grope her and she obviously wasn't enjoying it.

I walked up to him, tapped him on the back and delivered a swift kick to his balls. He fell over, moaning in pain.
...

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I just participated in a silent disco.

Well, I got drunk at the morgue.

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father on his way home suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the salesperson, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shoppi...

Someone threw my 70s records on the fire.

It was a disco inferno.

I went to a disco last night (variation)

The DJ said, "Sing with me". I sang with him.
The DJ said, "Put your hands together". I put my hands together while singing along.

The DJ said, "Come on everyone". I was thrown out of the Disco.

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi...

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi were arguing as to who were the best at their job. So they decided to go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it to their respective religion. After several hours, they met up again at a local disco to share the result of their venture.

The priest...

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band?

They're called 'Hispanic at the Disco'

Top 20 worst jokes ever !!!!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
You, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a...

Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos?

Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.

I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

A joke for Tony Bennett fans...

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good.
Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together.

Larry went to heaven and ...

If Panic! At the disco were Mexican...

They would be called Hispanics at the disco

I lost my ABBA cd

Where did the disco?

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I was at a party the other night.

I walked into the rager eager for a drink to quell my thirst, it was 9pm and things were just starting to heat up. A few steps through the door and I was greeted by a petit partygoer with flashing lights in her hair, she said something but I couldn't hear her over the DJ, but I wasn't really interes...

There was a scared Spanish man at a club

Hispanic at the disco.

When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me

I was never scared though, I loved disco music

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If ghosts were real..

my basement would be like a depressing school disco

Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: M...

Omegle joke

Guy 1: Hey!

Guy 2: Hey.

Guy 1: I'm pretty sad, can you give me a joke?

Guy 2: Sure! Knock Knock.

Guy 1: Who's there?

Guy 2: Disco.

Guy 1: Disco who?

Guy 2: Disconnected.

'Your conversational partner has been disconnected.'

Guy 1: ...

I went camping in the snow.

As the snow melted, water leaked in. It was the winter of my discount tent.

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Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

I ran into a dance club for people with back problems

It was called the Slipped Disco

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