I can work the lyrics of “Uptown Funk” into any conversation I have.

Don’t believe me? Just watch!

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Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

My boyfriend is kicking me out of his house for constantly singing lyrics from "Take on me"

He said he's giving me the weekend to move all my stuff out, and he asked me when I would be able to finally leave, so I replied with "I'll be gone in a day or two."

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An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

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NSFW. What do lyrics from the cha cha slide and a redditors average sex duration have in common?

One hump this time

Rihanna had “Work, work, work, work, work” as the original lyrics

Her producer told her it needs more work.

People keep asking why I quote Green Day lyrics so much

I want to be the minority

Hand Washing Lyrics

**Neil Diamond:** Hands...
**NHS:** Yep, wash them for 20 seconds
**Neil Diamond**: Touching hands..
**NHS:** No, don't do that
**Neil Diamond:** Reaching out..
**NHS:** Errrr, avoid that too
**Neil Diamond:** Touching me..
**NHS:** Oh no
### **Neil Diamond:**...

I showed my band the lyrics I composed and they said I should be a poet

Poet, fireman, accountant, anything but lyricist.

What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa

Toto recall

Old MacDonald is up to something. He keeps typing the lyrics to his song as "E-I-E-I-o".

I just can't trust a guy with shift-E-I's.

My girlfriend left me because I wouldn’t stop quoting Linkin Park lyrics...

...but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!"

I'm all shook up…

My friend told me he felt sad because he didn't know the lyrics to "YMCA".

I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down".

I tried to sing “Danger Zone” five times at karaoke night, but kept forgetting the lyrics.

They eventually kicked me off stage.
Too many Loggins attempts.

What is anti-vax parent's favourite song lyrics?

Swish, swish, bish

Another one in the casket

My Girlfriend told me I had to stop speaking in Oasis lyrics

I said maybe

I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't learn the correct Smash Mouth lyrics.

And then I looked at her head.

What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics?

A hummingbird

Studies have shown that if presented with song lyrics, the human mind will produce the melody and have it in the background. According to the researchers,

your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know.

What do you say when you don’t know the lyrics to a-ha’s “Take On Me”?

“I don’t know what I’m to say”

I brought my car to a mechanic and asked him, “Do you have any idea why my car is humming?”

He replied, “Probably because it doesn’t know all the lyrics.”

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An ad man is overwhelmed with work...

An ad man is overwhelmed with work so he contracts our his easiest account, for Acme Nails, to his brother in law, who is a professional animator, to produce the ad.

Two days before it's due he still hasn't heard anything so he calls his BIL.

"Hey man, you must be done by now, right? I...

Someone once asked me if everyone in the U.K. Knows the lyrics to Wonderwall

I said mayybeee

One way or another,

One way or another, I’m really going to have to stop quoting Blondie lyrics...

I was at a job interview and was asked if i can perform under pressure.

I said im not very familiar with the lyrics, but i would certainly have a go at doing bohemian rhapsody

Girl: im breaking up with u.

guy: why?
girl: because u keep quoting Chicago lyrics.
guy: but, if u leave me now, u take away the biggest part of me 😭

True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example, after watching Mary Poppins, I sang "a spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down." -My dad thought is was SO funny I mixed that line up.

Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.

LPT: if you're trying to study, don't listen to music with lyrics

Any modern pop-song should do.

A couple go to a bar during karaoke night...

and they hear a man sing to most beautiful cover of Stairway to Heaven they had ever heard. Since they were planning their wedding at this time, they approach the man after his performance.

"Wow, that was an amazing cover! Would you like to come perform at the reception of our wedding?" they...

I'm just now realizing most blink-182 lyrics don't make any sense

I guess this is growing up...

I absolutely love the lyrics to the song "What is Love?"

The artist really haddaway with words...

Why do bees hum?

Cos they don’t remember the lyrics.

My friend composes lyrics about sewing machines.

She's a Singer songwriter.

Alternate Lyrics: I kissed a Trans and I liked it.

The taste of her hairy lap stick.

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.

TIL that a flock of crows is called a murder.

Thus apparently, gangsta rap lyrics are mostly about ornithology.

If Rammstein had been office workers,

Would their lyrics have been

Do,

Do not,

Do not reply all,

Do not reply all,

Do not reply all,

Or I will take your soul?

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

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They asked me to organise a karaoke night for the blind

One of the songs I included was 'I Can See For Miles' by The Who, but the participants weren't really feeling the lyrics.

Mainly because I forgot to get the braille version.

I love listening to Bongripper.

I know all of their lyrics by heart.

I kinda stole this

The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can't google the lyrics because there are none

⚠️ No Results For "there was a really good bit with a flute"

I made a rap song all about soap.

It’s fine, the lyrics are clean.

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What do you call a person that constantly hunts for karma?

A predditor.

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How long will it take for Rammstein's new album to be released?

'Till Lindemann has finished the lyrics.

In church tonight ....

My sister said she didn't need a hymnal because she knew the lyrics to every Christmas song.

I told my brother, "Don't mind her, she's just a big noel-it-all."

Heavy metal is a lot like jazz....

It's the lyrics you DON'T hear

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The monkey's balls.

A man stops in a little town after a long drive, looking for a place to have a big cold glass of beer. He goes onto the local bar, which is completely empty, except for a blind pianist, who is playing some ragtime tunes. he sits down at the bar, and from the back a bartender appears.

"What do...

Why is it appropriate that the Rolling Stones let their song “Start Me Up” be used for a Windows 95 commercial?

Because it contains the lyrics “You’d make a grown man cry.”

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A man walks into a bar and opens his suitcase revealing a million dollars in cash.

"I'll give this million dollars to the first person who can sing "Auld Lang Syne" and give me head at the same time."

Immediately people started a stampede, men, women and children all alike, towards the mans crotch. They whipped his dick out and started battling over who gets to do the "perf...

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First Time Poster, Go easy on me ... "Hamster"

So.. A guy walks into bar and takes a seat ....

The Barman approaches and says what are you having boss?

The Man replies .. I don't have any money pal ...

Barman says if you don't have any money you can stay here ...

The guy says ...what if i told you i have a hamster th...

I'm selling this new shower radio I just bought a few days ago.

It sings the wrong lyrics.

can you guys help me find an AC/DC song?

it has 3 power chords and the lyrics are about being a badass, Thanks!





*stolen from RYM*

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Lets talk about racism in music

You know how some people claim that music made by white people can't be enjoyed by black people because they can't relate to it.

They are crazy. Black people can relate to music made by white people just as much as white people can. For instance, look at music made by Everclear. Black people...

[OC] Al Gore decides to write a series of educational songs about the environment.

He presents the head of the production company with the lyrics for his songs, including the lyrics for one song about animals in forest habitats, which has over 500 lines.

The head of the production company says, "wait, this song is way too long! This isn't a very efficient way of conveying y...

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