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Rapture Jokes

The rapture will suck

Let's be honest, no matter what it's gonna be like, people will just be standing around and complaining that the book was better.

I was going to make a joke about the Rapture, but...

it just isn't happening.

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

...a veloci-rapture

The Canadians get sent to hell

So the rapture happens and all the Canadians get sent to hell because they didn’t hold the door or say sorry enough and the devil sees them celebrating. Bothered by this he asks “you’rein hell why are you celebrating“ and the Canadians respond “it’s like minus thirty where we live this is awesome. A...

If the rap god and rap devil are fighting?

Does that mean we all missed the rapture?

"Well I'll be damned."

said atheist when rapture happened.

Armageddon...

...tired of all these Rapture jokes.

Temple of Eternal Light

Three couples are meeting with the Grand Guru of the Temple of Eternal Light, hoping to increase their sense of meaning and connectedness with the world. After listening to his sermon in rapture they ask how to join the Temple of Eternal Light.

"You must first demonstrate your commitment to t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman travels to Japan...[nsfw]

the American businessman arrives a day early for his meeting with his Japanese business colleague and being quite the tourist he decides to hit the the town. He goes to a couple of sushi bars and loosens up a bit, he meets an attractive women at one of the karaoke bars and after quite a while of tr...

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