UPJOKE
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Rapture Jokes

The rapture will

Let's be honest, no matter what it's gonna be like, people will just be standing around and complaining that the book was better.

The Canadians get sent to hell

So the rapture happens and all the Canadians get sent to hell because they didn’t hold the door or say sorry enough and the devil sees them celebrating. Bothered by this he asks “you’rein hell why are you celebrating“ and the Canadians respond “it’s like minus thirty where we live this is awesome. A...

I was going to make a joke about the Rapture, but...

it just isn't happening.

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

...a veloci-rapture

If the rap god and rap devil are fighting?

Does that mean we all missed the rapture?

"Well I'll be damned."

said atheist when rapture happened.

Armageddon...

...tired of all these Rapture jokes.

Temple of Eternal Light

Three couples are meeting with the Grand Guru of the Temple of Eternal Light, hoping to increase their sense of meaning and connectedness with the world. After listening to his sermon in rapture they ask how to join the Temple of Eternal Light.

"You must first demonstrate your commitment to t...
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