I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem

I call it my trail mix.

If Eminem had the infinity gaulent....

He could actually snap back into reality

EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

WEB MD: Cancer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Eminem were gay...

Would he be called Skittles?

A big record label gathered Eminem, Dr. Dre, and Andre 3000 to collaborate on a new album.

Eminem said, "I'll perform."
Dr. Dre said, "I'll produce."
And Andre 3000 said, "I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write!"

What would happen if Eminem lost weight and started doing questionable things?

He'd be the real Slim Shady.

What do John Wick and Eminem have in common?

They kill people using a pencil.

What does Eminem use when he fights?

Marshall Arts

Eminem walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Give me two shots of…”

The bartender cuts him off saying,”You only get one shot.”

What would you call a miniature clone of Eminem?

Partial Mathers

Someone should make a breakfast themed parody of Eminem's movie

It would be called "Oat-Mile"

What was 50 Cents called after he gave his opinion of Eminem?

48 Cents.

50 Cent? For an Eminem?

Man that’s Ludacris

I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:


Erika Badu

Vanilla Ice



Green Day



Nine inch Nails


George Strait

Ilene Woods

Vince Gill


Yoko ono

Otis Redding


Is Eminem an elf?

Because he is a wrap god.

How does Snoop give Eminem a Christmas gift?

Gangsta wrapped.

I saw a clickbait article: "Watch Eminem attack Trump like no President has ever been attacked."

I mean... Kennedy was shot in the head... But ok.

Eminem has decided to convert to Islam.

He's now known as Muslim Shady.

Eminem, 50 Cent and Andre from Outkast get together to produce a new single.

50 Cent says, 'I'll make the beat.'

Eminem says, 'I'll release it on my label and deal with the promo.'

Andre says, 'I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll ...

Am I right?

Everyone: Eminem is the fastest rapper.

Me listening to the socially awkward kid present in class

My friend makes paintings of Eminem combined with other famous rappers

He's a mixed Marshall artist.

A doctor is talking to one of his patients

Doctor: "Who's your favorite rapper?"

Boy: "Eminem!"

Doctor: "Would you like to meet him someday?"

Boy: "Of course!"

Doctor: "Well he's busy right now but you'll meet tupac soon!"

Boy: "But he's dead..."

Doctor: "I know."

I can't believe someone in Australia is remaking Eminem's movie '8 Mile'

They're calling it 12.8748km

What type of onion would Eminem be?

A Rap-Scallion

Officer: Can you describe what the man looked like?

Victim: Um... Like Eminem, I guess?

Officer: Like... an m&m? A round candy covered chocolate man? Write that down Jimmy.

GF: "Did you see Eminem's new rap about Trump?"

Me: "Yes. It was ludacris."

GF: "No, it was Eminem."

If someone draws pictures of Eminem for a living.

Are they a professional martial artist?

What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?

♪ *Shady's back* ♪

Did you hear that Nightblue3 and Eminem played League of Legends together yesterday?

Eminem got one shot

If I could nominate just one person to NEVER be my bartender, it would be Eminem

He insists 'you only get one shot'.

Like I'm gonna get drunk off of one shot.. pffft

Eminem's "8 Mile" wasn't very well received in Canada

I guess the title "12.8748 Kilometer" just isn't as catchy.

Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas

Eminessence and Marshal Lathers.

I tried to register slimshady.com, and it turns out the US government forcibly took it over.

They cited Eminem domain.

Did you hear about when Eminem married an Indian woman?

They had a Slim Shaadi

Most people would say that Eminem, Jay-Z, or Andre 3000 spit the hardest on the mic...

I personally think it was Mia Khalifa.

What did Eminem say when 50cent gave him a sweater?

Gee, you knit?

What do you get when you cross Eminem with a green onion?

A rapscallion.

Why did Bin Laden listen to Eminem?

He was an Afghani-Stan.

Just bought a Tupac of Eminems for 50 Cents

It was Ludacris!

What starts with an E and rhymes with fifty?


What is Eminem made of?

He is made of Mathers

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

Marshall Mathers wants to make a statement but he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s saying it so

He requests eminemity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Dr.Dre say to Lil Wayne?

Nothing, you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in Eminem's basement!

I told some friends I was having trouble sleeping. They said I should try listening to white noise.

I told them I don’t even like Eminem.

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already...

Woman: Did you just quote Eminem?

Doctor: Your husband's alcohol poisoning is not a joke, madam!

How do you qualify a slim and seemingly shady argument?

It’s an ad eminem.

What's a rapper's favorite candy?


Is it true that..

Reporter : is that true that God sent Lil Wayne to teach ppl how to rap ?

Eminem : I don't remember sending anyone.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because eminem's in there

(Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

"The garbage needs to go out. It's full of candy wrappers."

"Is Eminem in there?"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.