I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with

a Re post.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What musical instrument does the president use to tell his wife he wants to have sex?

Trump-bone

I wanna become a musical comedian

Sadly, none of my jokes are noteworthy...

What do you call a set of musical dentures?

Falsetto teeth

Nowadays there's too many musical instruments

It seems today, that all you see is violins in movies and sax on TV

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The song "Earth" by Lil Dicky features musical cameos from dozens of popular singers.

The song was released around Earth Day and promotes the idea that everyone should work together to be green and eco-friendly and save the planet.

Many famous singers had cameos in the song as different animals or other forms of wildlife. Perhaps the most notable cameo was the singer that sang...

What's a sheep's favourite musical instrument ?

A Ewekulele

Just saw "Cheers: The Musical"

My Thoughts? A little too much Danson.



Also, some of the acting was woody.

People like to share their musical taste with their neighbors these quarantine days. My neighbor has been listening to death metal the entire day at full volume.

Whether he likes it or not.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the musical based on Death of a Salesman that had a happy ending?

It’s called How to Succeed in Business without Willy Dying...

Arnold Schwarzenegger is starring in a movie about musical composers.

He’ll be Bach.

What do you call a musical concert that uses cutlery?

A forkestra

I think my wife is performing in a musical behind my back...

I asked to see it but she just gave me song and dance

What does a musical farmer with no hands do?

Drops the beet.

What is a priest's favourite musical note?

A minor

A musical Joke

My Goldfish are named Major, Minor, Dorian, Lydian and Diminished. The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.

My local news network recently featured two artisans from my town. One makes burlap sacs, and the other makes musical instruments.

They thought the viewers would be drawn in by all the sacs and violins.

Cats The Musical

As long as "Cats" aren't in control, we're fine.

My ex used to hit me with musical instruments

I didn't know that she had a history of violins.

What is an Alzheimer patient's favorite musical group?

The Who?

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Read it slowly.

What is the most musical part of a humans body?

The Eardrum

I hate the musical Cats, so I'm loving these reviews

Seeing the movie so panned is just meowsic to my ears.

I would never hit someone with a musical instrument...

I don't like to resort to violins

An international conference was held to decide what the most annoying musical instrument was.

After intense debate, a shortlist of instruments was created, consisting of the bagpipes, didgeridoo, and vuvuzela, but before a vote was held it was decided that the exact origin of each instrument had to be accounted accounted for beyond any doubt.

The didgeridoo's origin was easily proven,...

What’s a selfish person’s favourite musical note?

Mi

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus.

He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world.


He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc.


So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone wh...

What's a botanist's favorite musical instrument?

A xylem phloem.

The final episode of Game of Thrones should end in a huge musical number where everyone comes back to life for some reason and nothing is explained and no real ending is given.

That'll cause riots.

What's the most peaceful musical instrument?

I don't know, but violins isn't the answer.

Young women marrying old rich guys is a lot like musical chairs.

The last one to sit on it wins.

After hearing me sing for the first time, my music teacher told me I should be tenor.

Ten or twelve feet away from all musical instruments at all times.

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