What is EDP’s favorite musical scale

A minor

What musical instrument is usually found in the bathroom?

Tuba Toothpaste

A bunch of hooligans are smashing up my shop and stealing musical instruments

Damn luters!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a homosexual's favorite musical genre?

Reggay

What's the most musical animal?

A hip hopopotamus

What do you call a musical garden figure who often rides the subway?

A metrognome.

My ex is a musician. Her musical instrument and I had a lot in common.

We both got played, constantly.

Accordion to one study people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument

But I don’t believe that tuba true.

Only the best musical humor

Which concert will only cost you 45 cents?



50 cent featuring Nickelback!

What is the most musical animal?

The fish, they got scales

Who is a grain harvester's favorite musical artist?

Hall'n Oates

During tryouts for one of the chorus positions in the upcoming musical The Sound of Music....

one of the girls told the judges, "Mother says I sing beautifully."
The judge replied, "Bring me a recommendation from your neighbors and I'll give you a tryout."

3,000 male cows are playing musical chairs. What happens when the music stops?

A whole lot of bulls sit.

Revenge on a four-year-old child

A while ago, I invited my friend to my house for dinner. He brought along his four year old child, who made a mess of my house, and destroyed two of my expensive plates. I was so angry, but after all, I couldn't vent my anger on a young child. I had no choice but to smile and keep my composure.
<...

Who’s a hairdresser’s favorite musical artist?

Harry Styles

I wanna become a musical comedian

Sadly, none of my jokes are noteworthy...

Guy walks into a bar with an octopus

The bartender, upon seeing the octopus, says "hey hey hey I run a respectable establishment here, no cephalopods allowed!"

The owner of the octopus says "no, wait, this is the most amazing octopus in the world, it can play any musical instrument known to man."

As fate would have it, th...

I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with

a Re post.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A musical joke [kinda NSFW]

A man won a weekend in 5 star hotel with all inclusive package - free food, drinks and presidential apartment.

Wanting to fully enjoy the package, the man visited each night the luxury restaurant and ordered the most expensive dishes and drinks.

At the end of his stay, one of the recep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What musical instrument does the president use to tell his wife he wants to have sex?

Trump-bone

Music history nerds- What do Wagner’s musical works and his debts have in common?

They both never resolve.




Yes I know this is bad but we’re studying Wagner and the class/professor appreciated it. Carry on with your day.

I've written a musical about a band of London pick-pockets set in modern times...

It's basically Oliver! with a twist.

Nowadays there's too many musical instruments

It seems today, that all you see is violins in movies and sax on TV

People like to share their musical taste with their neighbors these quarantine days. My neighbor has been listening to death metal the entire day at full volume.

Whether he likes it or not.

I was invited to a preview for a musical about the late Billy Mays

It was alright, but the lead was kind of pitchy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.

Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.

The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...

My ex used to hit me with musical instruments

I didn't know that she had a history of violins.

What do you call a set of musical dentures?

Falsetto teeth

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with an octopus...

He puts the octopus down on a barstool and tells everyone in the bar,

"this is the world's most talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument you can find - in fact, i'll bet $100 that nobody here has an instrument that this octopus can't play."

Somebody in the bar pulls out a g...

Just saw "Cheers: The Musical"

My Thoughts? A little too much Danson.



Also, some of the acting was woody.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The song "Earth" by Lil Dicky features musical cameos from dozens of popular singers.

The song was released around Earth Day and promotes the idea that everyone should work together to be green and eco-friendly and save the planet.

Many famous singers had cameos in the song as different animals or other forms of wildlife. Perhaps the most notable cameo was the singer that sang...

What's a sheep's favourite musical instrument ?

A Ewekulele

What is a priest's favourite musical note?

A minor

I have lots of viking jokes. I came up with all of them, but I dont know if they are original.

Musical viking = Vising.
Viking ok motorcycle = Biking.
Viking that rules = ViKing.
Viking with glasses =Veyeking.
Viking that is leaving = Byeking.
Viking that enjoys = Liking.
Viking who lies = Lieking.
Viking in forest = Hiking.
Viking with weed = Highking.
Viking in ai...

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Read it slowly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the musical based on Death of a Salesman that had a happy ending?

It’s called How to Succeed in Business without Willy Dying...

What is an Alzheimer patient's favorite musical group?

The Who?

What does a musical farmer with no hands do?

Drops the beet.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is starring in a movie about musical composers.

He’ll be Bach.

My friends and I were putting together a musical score for a production of Hamlet

Tuba or no tuba, that was the question

What do you call a musical concert that uses cutlery?

A forkestra

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