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Projects Jokes

Little Johnny’s art projects

Little Johnny’s parents are concerned about the art work he is bringing home from school. All the coloring is brown or black. Could this indicate a mental health problem?

They take him to a psychologist. The psychologist wants to see Johnny at work on art and gives him a sheet of paper a...

School Projects are fun

A science teacher sent off his year 8 class with a homework task, come up witch a science experiment, and either film it to show to the class, or show the experiment in front of the class next week.

Tim went home and thought long and hard about what he would do, but he came in next week with ...

Even construction workers are getting tired of endless road projects.

I saw them putting up a protest sign today that said "End Construction"!

When I die, I want the people I did group projects with me to lower me into my grave...

...so they can let me down one last time.

What I learn from group projects

That it is a solo project with no sleep

President Obama visits the Pentagon...

President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.

A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"

Obama replies, "Uh, let ...

Many people tried to stop my genetic engineering projects, but I wasn't discouraged.

Soon, I'll have them eating out of the hand of my palm.

In group projects, they call me the task manager

I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mechanical Engineer, a Special Projects Solution Consultant, and a Software Engineering were riding in a car over a mountain pass....

....Suddenly, the brakes fail just as they crest the rise.

As they begin to plummet unchecked down the mountain, the driver begins a miraculous set of actions, feathering the body of the car against the side of the mountain as well as other vehicles, while simultaneously downshifting the eng...

Two scientists are working together

Both have different projects to work on.

1st scientist saw 1 unknown chemical. Curiously, he asked,"Bro, what and whose chemical is this?"

2nd scientist replied, "Bromine"

A clock maker had new students come to his workshop today. As he was in the middle of one of his projects he told them to always remember one thing to do when he was at work.

To watch and learn

Batman and the Joker are in the retirement home together, working on crafts projects. Batman looks at Joker's cross-stitch of the night sky and asks, "Why'd you leave out the Dog Star?" Joker answers...

"Why sew Sirius?"

An engineer dies and goes to heaven.

When he arrives St. Peter looks at the book and scratches his head. He says 'You were involved in some great civil engineering projects so I ought to let you into heaven but you were also involved in weapons programs that resulted in great loss of life' 'I am sorry but you will have to go to hell'. ...

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