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My wife was talking about her funeral plans. I said we'll give you a military send off like the sailors on a ship.

I was in the Air Force.

Ok, we'll toss you out of an airplane.

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If Samsung names their next phone the Galaxy SX it may send off the wrong impression

But fuck it.

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3 nurses walk into a patient's bedroom only to find him dead.

The first nurse goes to check on him and notices that he had a massive erection so she tells the other nurses to give him a good send off by have sex with him. The first nurse does it and stops after getting tired. The second does the same and stops to share with the third nurse. The third nurse was...

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Monkey business

In a secret lab, a bunch if scientists are working on modified human DNA. To find out if their experiments work, they infuse monkey cells with the modified DNA. After a few years of raising 3 modified monkeys they send each of them into a different apprenticeship for one year, to see if they are abl...

Potato - patato

You say 'funeral', I say 'a really dead send off party'.

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