a guy with a gun bursts into a bank and screams “a person's regular occupation, profession, or trade. also known as a commercial enterprise.”

the old lady in front of him whispers to the teller, “I’d do whatever he asks. He means business.”

What's the worst job to have on The Starship Enterprise?

Cleaning up the hollodeck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?

they both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!

How is a piece of farm equipment with headlights similar to the Starship Enterprise?

They both have tractor beams!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is the starship Enterprise like toilet paper?

It cruises Uranus, and wipes out Klingons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Charmin Toilet Paper and the Starship Enterprise?

Nothing. They both circle around Uranus in search of Clingons

Captain Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise encountered an unknown alien craft

However, they proved to be friendly, and soon a dialog was reached. After discussing quite a few differences in culture, they came to reproduction.

One of the aliens said "Let me demonstrate" and a small swelling appeared on his arm. After a couple of minutes, the swelling became the form o...

What do you call it when the Enterprise's android science officer drives in reverse?

Data backup

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Where are all the Jews on the Starship Enterprise?

on the challah deck

For Star Trek fans: What did Scotty tell Kirk when The Enterprise flew over western England?

"Thar be Wales here!"

What always clogged the toilet on the USS Enterprise?

Captain's Log

The starship Enterprise is about to face annihilation from a superior ship, but Picard comes up with a cunning plan.

"We'll beam Lieutenant Worf on to their ship to offer our unconditional surrender", says Picard

"But Captain", interrupts Riker, "they might not take us seriously if you send Worf. It might be wise to send Commander Troi".

"Nonsense! Put him in a wooly sweater, a wooly hat and gloves,...

Why are there no Anti-Vaxxers serving on StarTrek’s Enterprise?

Because it’s set in the future.

Did you hear that the new captain of the Enterprise is a magician?

His name is Jean-Luc Pick-a-card

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Recently, my brother opened a brothel. So far, business is going great. Blowjob is 25, anal 50, vaginal is not offered yet.

It's a new enterprise and he's the only one employed at the moment.

One day on the USS-Enterprise...

Captain Picard tears his uniform. Now, normally he could just replicate a new one, but he was particularly fond of this uniform and so he went to get it mended in the uniform repair machine, but it was broken. So he called Geordi LaForge.

"Geordi, the machine that repairs uniforms is broken....

What happened when the USS Enterprise got a new toilet?

William Shatner

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Being a prostitute on the Enterprise sounded interesting...

But actually it's mostly Data entry.

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Space joke

Whats the similarity between Starship Enterprise and toiletpaper.

They both circling around Uranus looking for Klingons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to a pet shop.

She's looking for a present for her husband. Unfortunately, she's on a budget, but the clerk has an idea:
"For $ 20, I can give you something very special" and presents here a frog.

"What's so special about it?" the woman asks.

The clerk says: "Well, this frog is very special, becau...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"How can you watch porn but still claim you love only me?" My wife asked

" The same way I watch Formula 1 whole weekend but still drive my 2002 Toyota Camry everyday" I replied..

That satisfied her...

*I just failed to mention I take rental at Enterprise when I go on business trips*

Why does Data the android cost Starfleet so much money?

Because Data is enterprise hardware.

I'm planning on opening an art boutique.

I'll sell paintings of jesus smoking weed.

It'll be a high prophet enterprise.

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What does Will Riker call his penis?

The Enterprise D

A couple on their 60th anniversary

Jake and Jane wake up on the day of their 60th anniversary. Jane turns to Jake and says:
Jane: Jake, is there anything you have been keeping a secret in all these years from me? Today is our 60th anniversary and you can come clean! I want be mad.
Jake: Well Jane, now that you asked, it was me ...

A hat for kirk

My mum wanted to knit a hat for Captain Kirk of the USS enterprise, but it is quite tricky for someone who has three ears!

His left ear, his right ear and his final front-ear.

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office merger

Mike's startup company wasn't doing that well. He had a great idea for a tech startup, he got funding from venture capitalists, hired programmers, accountants, marketing analysts, everything. But sadly Super Tech Enterprises was failing. For months his former roommate's company was offering to bu...

A group of wealthy gentlemen were sitting at a luncheon arguing over who made the most money...

Man #1 says "I am the wealthiest man here. I am a banker. Every month, I make a handsome profit in the interests on all my loans at once."

Man #2 says "Ah, but I own the operations of a massive oil production. I never even have to work and every quarter my profits triple because demand is so ...

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The King and his donkey? Father Murphy tried that too...

[BringItOnFellas' previous version here](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2dru6u/a_king_enrolled_his_donkey_in_a_race_and_won/)

Father Murphy's parish was always scratching for the mortgage payment, until one day he came up with a plan: they would buy a racehorse, enter it in a few race...

My teacher put these onto our Word of the Day test in class today.

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch? Chicken Spocks!

What animals are on legal documents? Seals!

What is a polygon? A dead parrot!

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