What should a bird nourish its chick with to ensure it's proper development?

Redbull

The Manhattan Project was an urban development program

It was designed to make city populations explode

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There have been troubling developments with Europe’s terror threat levels, recently:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1...

Why is development in airplane engineering so slow?

Everyone is afraid to make a ground breaking design.

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Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

Baby Boomers grow up around a lot of lead paint. Lead paint causes long term mental effects like antisocial behavior, short attention span, and reduced brain development.

And there we have explained Donald Trump

A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant...

Its called Eel-on Musk.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U

But mid-way through development they made the switch.

I just read the bible, really good book. Had a lot of character development

In my opinion, the Noah Arc was the best part

I studied cognitive development for ten years.

Didn't learn a thing...

There's an emo in my Web Development class, she's doing a website about jewellery

Her first page was /Wrists

Who from the Soviet Union made the most in development of modern surgery?

Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov.

Germany owed a massive debt to France after the treaty of Versailles

One day, Germany couldn't afford to pay the weekly payment to France. So France gathered a band of soldiers and rode into a small town in Rhineland on trucks, hoping to find anything valuable as reparation. After inspecting the town for a brief moment, they took its tram tracks and street lamps back...

A man found out the Bee Gees, were writing a fictional novel.

"Do you guys need any help?" he asked.

"We know how to do it!" they responded.

"Not even with the character development?"

"We know how to show it!"

What do you call an award ceremony for the latest and greatest software developments?

The Programmys

The character of Nearly Headless Nick was a bit of a letdown in the Harry Potter movies.

In the books, he had so much more development, including an entire deathday party. In the movies though, he was just so badly executed.

when the cops raided the warehouse, the crack dealers were fast asleep while production was going on

this was a case of a rested development.

After 62 years of being devoted to Judaism, Abraham converts to Christianity

Distraught over this unexpected development, his life-long friend Moshe sends him a message.

Moshe: "Abraham, you schmuck! How could you abandon your faith?"

Abraham: "New Testament, who dis?"

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[Long] [NSFW] One warm autumn day,

A man walks into the patent office and slams a stack of papers down triumphantly. "I've bred apples that taste like different fruits, and furthermore, each half of an apple tastes different!"

The patent clerk looks up in boredom, "Sure, sure... But I need to verify the truthfulness of this cl...

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year old woman because she had just gotten married for the 4th time in her life.

The interviewer was asking her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

The lady tells him that her new husband is a funeral director.

"Interesting," the newsman thinks....

He then asks her if she ...

Family politics

A mother-in-law was welcoming her newly wed daughter-in-law and explaining the hierarchy:

"I am Vice President, Home Affairs Minister as well as Finance Minister of this house.

Your Father-in-law is the President, Defense and Security Minister and Foreign Affairs Minister.

My So...

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There was a wealthy Jew who owned a nail company. His only son had just graduated from college and the father wanted to get him involved in the company.

He initially farmed the young man out to each of the departments; first research & development, then manufacturing, then sales, and in each the son was a dismal failure. Determined to find a place for his offspring, the father decided that his son needed his own project.

So the father pla...

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar...

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. Later, a D comes ...

A plastic surgeon applies for a programming position

Because he heard they needed back end development.

The Zoo Joke (Long)

So there's this zoo, and this zoo isn't very affluent, but, if someone visits the zoo, it is definitely to see their gorilla.

One morning, the workers come in early to open the zoo like normal and find, to their great sadness, that their famous gorilla has died of old age. The zoo staff are ...

A woman brings her son to the doctor

Woman: Doctor help! My son is falling behind other children. What can I do to speed up his development?
Doctor: Have you tried lowering his graphics?

I've finally discovered why it takes so long to develop self-driving vehicle technology.

The first cars equipped with it have to turn 16 before any real development can begin.

A most interesting fellow

A man is walking down the street and runs into a rather strange looking fellow. He's wearing a dark hood obscuring much of his face, so he goes to investigate. He soon realizes that the hooded figure had no face at all.

"Excuse me, sir," the man asked the hooded figure, "do you mind taking o...

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One day, a nun falls pregnant.

One day at a Monastery, a nun discovers that she has somehow become pregnant. Horrified by this development, the Nun immediately runs to the head nun and explains to her what has happened.

'Mother Superior, I have terrible news," she tells her, "I have no good explanation for how it has happe...

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So a Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race...

So a Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race on the St. Lawrence River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The North Americans, very discouraged and depressed, deci...

A Wealthy Programmer Freezes Himself.

Back in the early 70s, a programmer was able to build several complex systems and was heavily compensated for his work. Throughout the years, he put his knowledge to work and was able to fix almost any problem thrown at him. Unfortunately, however, he learnt from his doctor that he was slowly dying ...

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The best in town

A guy decides to treat himself to a prostitute .
He finds one and says how much for some head 300.00 he is told. WHAT?! He shouts prostitute says come with me to my room...he goes up to her penthouse and points out the window to a Lamborghini and says see that it's mine because I give the best h...

The Thin Swiss Wire

A crew of Swiss engineerers was tasked by their government to create a wire as thin as possible. The project took months, years to finish, but at last, they succeeded. They produced a piece of extremely thin wire. It was so thin that they could not even measure how thin it actually was. Not only tha...

I met Spider-Man in college

He was in Web development.

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A German engineer, an Indian engineer, and a Chinese engineer die and go to Heaven

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter is there to greet them.

"As part of our skilled migration scheme, you will each have to propose a design for a planned 200 storey mixed-use development here in Heaven. The person with the most attractive proposal will be granted entry into Heaven. You have 4 day...

What do you call a tv show about female puberty?

A Breasted Development

What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime?

Web Development.

My daughter thinks I criticize her too much...

That's just one of her many faults.

(Shamelessly taken from Arrested Development. Thanks, Lucille.)

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There was a groundbreaking surgery performed here in Houston, TX.

A baby was born recently that had a congenital condition that caused problems with the development of the delicate tissues on his face. The poor child was born without eyelids. Resourceful doctors and surgeons came up with a plan to circumcise the baby boy and use his foreskin to construct new eyeli...

I just got a futuristic coffee maker.

It was a ground-breaking development.

What's the most common career choice among spiders?

Web development

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"The watch"

My dad just reminded me of this old classic!

Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says....

A collection of puns in one text.

[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]

Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.

Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.

Friend: *turns off phone*

Millennium Year Application Software System

This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the "Millennia Year Application Software System " (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will be...

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A Jew and his Rabbi.

A Jewish man, concerned with recent developments, goes to his Rabbi to ask him a question:

"Rabbi, I grow concerned; My child went away to college, and now that he's come home for the holidays, he's returned as a Christian."

"Really?" Replies the Rabbi, "That's odd, because my child al...

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