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Initiative Jokes

There is an initiative...

There is an initiative by the US government and the American Dairy Counsel that cheese needs to be sold only in block form. By doing this we could make America Grate Again.

I got fired from work today for taking the initiative.

It was a slow day so I thought why not let my team get some practice in to keep up their skills.

Didn't know it was against policy to set our fire station ablaze!

My friends say I never take the initiative.

I wish they'd just stop being my friends.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Executives at Monsanto have announced an initiative to genetically alter deer for increased movement speed.

Those assholes will do anything to make a quick buck

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $5,000,000.00 which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment..

And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50

Did you hear the Russians have began funding and creating technology to compromise and undermine the USA’s recent Central American initiatives?

They have created a ladder

I was in a job interview.

"Can you give me a time where you've wrongly taken the initiative?"

"Hey, I'm the one that asks the questions here," came the reply.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I, the Penis, hereby demand a raise in salary

I, the Penis, hereby demand a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has...

The top executives of the Budweiser beer company decide they need a fresh, new marketing initiative. One suggests that the Catholic church, being a well known, global brand just like themselves, would be a suitable sponsorship partner, so they send two of their most persuasive directors to Rome.

They are granted an audience with the Pope and explain that they want a commercial link-up with the Vatican. This would, of course, involve some careful 'product placement'. What they suggest is that the words in the Lord's prayer , 'Give us this day our daily bread', be replaced with, 'Give us this...

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long?

A "Pi"-thon.

(brought to you by the bad puns initiative)

Why are D&D nerds better in bed?

Because they always take initiative in the roleplay.

I once had a hen that could count her own eggs... (BPI)

She was a **mathema-chicken.**



\- Brought to you by the Bad Puns Initiative (BPI)

Studies suggest that 50% of Americans will be obese by the year 2030

I think that shows initiative. Trying to get the number down that low that quick.

The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up

Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.

The tele...

The Germans are so innovative when it comes to diets.

Especially the gluten free diets. They’ve started a new initiative with their food. If something has gluten in it, they give it a guten tag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Management Knows Best

A Japanese company and a Swedish company decided to have a row competition as a publicity stunt. Both teams trained long and hard. Competition came and the Japanese won by 1 kilometer. The Swedish company's leadership was shocked. But in this major crisis, the leadership showed its value: They wante...

I bought a backpack that was field tested...

...They didn't say anything about how well it performed on the test, but I was glad that they showed some initiative.

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