Petrol Pump Jokes - 6 Hilarious Petrol Pump Jokes

What do you call an Irish petrol pump attendant?

Phil Mc Cann

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich guy goes on holiday

A millionaire decides to go on a touring holiday in Ireland. He drives around the beautiful, lush green countryside in his new Rolls Royce. Eventually he needs some petrol so he pulls in to a tiny petrol station in the middle of nowhere.there is only one ancient, hand operated petrol pump. The owner...

The day i got emotional.

I got really emotional at the petrol pump this morning
I don't know why but I just started filling up

A guy was invited to a fancy dress party, and decided to go as Adam...

...So he phoned a costume hire shop and asked to rent a fig leaf. A few days later, the said fig leaf arrived, and he tried it on, but as he was fairly well endowed, it didn't quite cover things up, so he sent it back with a note explaining the situation. A day or so later another, larger, fig lea...

Happy wife, happy life

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

*********

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

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