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Engines Jokes

Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.

They find three parachutes.

Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, “The world needs a great person like me!”

Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. 

At this point, the Po...

A plane suddenly loses one of its engines

“This is your Captain speaking. I’m afraid we have lost one of our engines so we’ll be about 10 minutes late arriving at our destination,” announces the Captain.

“Oh no!” Says a passenger. Then suddenly, another engine fails.
“This is your Captain speaking. I’m afraid we have lost another...

Engines are like jokes.

They only work if the timing is right.

A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are on a a plan when the plane's engines fail and it starts to go down.

The pilot grabs one of the parachutes and jumps from the plane. The remaining passengers see that there is only one chute left, and quickly do the math.

The Englishman stands up, straightens his tie, says "God save the Queen!" and jumps from the plane.

The Frenchman, not wanting to b...

Failed Engines

There was a blonde sitting next to a man on an airplane. About an hour into the flight, the pilot comes on and says over the intercom, "One of our four engines is out, we will be about 15 minutes late arriving."

About 30 minutes later, the pilot comes on the intercom again and says, "There is...

Obama, Oprah, Trump and a little girl are on a plane. The engines fail...

... the pilots have already parachuted out the plane. The four mentioned are the only ones remaining on the plane. But there are only three parachutes.

Oprah quickly steps forward and says to the little girl; "I'm taking a parachute. I'll build a school for girls in your honour, it'll benefi...

What do women and engines have in common?

They both Suck, Squeeze, Bang, and Blow

An Brit, a Frenchman, a Mexican, and a Texan are in a flight when one of the plane's engines fails.

The crew throw all the luggage on the plane off to lighten the load, but they are still too heavy. The pilot goes on the intercom and says that 3 people need to jump off the plane to save everyone else. The Brit stands up and says, "God save the king!" before jumping to his death. Next, the Frenchma...

Why can't engines remain government leaders?

Once the first revolution begins there's always thousands more.

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

Flight attendant: "Excuse me, one of our two engines is broken, so we'll be two hours late." After a while, the flight attendant said, "Sorry, the other engine has broken.''

Passenger: “Then we will arrive four hours late, right?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s WWII and there’s a little anti-aircraft unit based on the east coast of England. The sergeant has a stutter.

One dark night they’re playing cards under the glow of their gas lamp, and suddenly they hear the distant sound of aircraft engines. The sergeant barks, “Ggggggggg-ggggg-gggggg-gggg-ggggg-get to the gggggg-ggg-gggggg-ggggg-gggg-ggggggg-ggg-gggggg-ggg-gun.”

All the men throw down their cards a...

The pilot and copilot are coming into LAX and they are nervous.

Sweat pouring off their brows, they bring the 737 down quickly. As soon as the wheels touch they throw the engines into reverse, stand on the brakes as hard as they can and cry "Stop! Please stop!" The plane stops an inch from the end of the runway. The pilot says "That was the shortest runway I eve...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blind Pilots

Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the aircraft. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.


Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit the door closes, and th...

I quit my job drilling ventilation holes in jet engines...

...it was just plane boring.

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