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Loads Jokes

I met a frail old wizard. He had bad breath and loads of blisters.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

A teacher asked the children in her 3rd-year class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny answered first. "I want to start out as a S.A.S. officer, go to the Middle East and kill loads of militant Muslims, return as a national hero, then become a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest nymphomaniac tart, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana...

Apparently loads of people turned away from voting for Trump coz he wanted to ban shredded cheese

He wanted to Make America Grate again.

Bought loads of herbs last month still haven't paid for them.

Hope they don't send the bay leafs round.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told a girl my dick was like a computer

She asked if that was because it had loads of RAM and a big hard drive.

Oh, the surprise she got when she found out it was microsoft and full of viruses.

What's a single spagetti between loads of macarroni?

An...

















ImPASTAr

Gordon Freeman recently turned 45 and started buying loads of retro PC gaming equipment.

He was experiencing a Half Life crisis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

8 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. I reposted it 4 years ago. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

I've got loads of jokes about undelivered letters.

But people just don't get them.

I know loads of jokes about cash machines

I just can't think of one atm.

I know absolutely LOADS about the Dunning-Krueger effect

I probably know even more than Mr Dunning-Krueger himself

My gaming friends told me if I posted here today I'd get loads of upvotes...

But the cake is a lie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop,

Or Finding Out He Was In All Of Them

A man and his wife retire after working at their respective jobs for 40+ years and settle on a nice ranch out in the country

The wife asks if she can adopt a cat since all of their kids have grown and moved on, so she was having some empty nest syndromes going on

The husband agrees and they adopt a cat from the local shelter

And this woman adored the cat, lavishing all kinds of love onto the animal

Un...

There are loads of jokes about white sugar, but the ones about brown sugar…

demerara

My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel.

Luckily we still won on aggregate.

I've saved loads of money this Christmas.

I walked out on the wife and kids.

I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past.

It was a bit choppy.

I went for an audition at a talent agency today.

They asked "so what's your special talent?"

I said "I do bird impressions!"

They said "sorry, that’s not original we have had loads of them!"

I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window.

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

Its a myth that people dont kiss in elementary school, i kissed loads of girls

I miss being a teacher

How come Landscapers have huge loads?

They are always edging.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife says to her husband, "I called the surgery saying I think I'm pregnant, and they said to bring in a specimen. What do they mean?"

He says "I don't know, but Mary next door has been pregnant loads of times, so why not go and ask her?"

So off she goes, and she comes back later with a fat lip, a thick ear, a nosebleed, a black eye, and half her clothing ripped to shreds, and her husband says "What in the name of Jesus, Mar...

My douchebag nephew puts on loads of deodorant and I have a hard time understanding him.

He has too strong of an axe scent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the guy who could ejaculate cash?

He made loads of money

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As I get older many of my buddies are now getting married. As I am still single loads of people keep telling how my friends and friendships will change once they get married...

So far I disagree with this sentiment, I am still close friends with all of my buddies, even after they’ve been married for years and years.



But I can say without a doubt that my friends really do change as soon as they become Dads, they immediately become real motherfuckers!

A wife was cleaning their sons bedroom, She finds loads of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband "what do we do?

The husband answers "I'm no expert but we definitely shouldn't spank him"

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