A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?

She grounded him.

What do you call London without electricity?

Londoff

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance,

Why doesn't lighting always strike in France?

My friend was explaining electricity

And I was like watt?

In my college days I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

Water, Electricity and College students all have one thing in common...

They all follow the path of least resistance

My electricity bill is outrageous for the shoddy service I’m getting...

...I’m just not happy with my current provider.

How is life like an electricity?

You start from null, you have few fazes, and then comes the grounding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A male teacher is teaching physics in an all girls school. One day, he was teaching the topic of electricity.

"A net electrical charge means the resulting electrical charge on an object. It normally means if an object has a majority of positive or negative charge. Do you understand?"

To this, his students stared at him blankly, some shaking their heads cautiously.

The teacher sighed and tried...

How do narcissists save money on their electricity bills?

They use gaslighting.

If you want to make money out of electricity

you should try building a buck converter.

How are women and electricity similar?

You don't wanna mess around with either without rubber.

Two big fans (you know those, the ones that produce electricity?) get into a conversation about music. One says:

“I’m a country fan.”


“Well I’m a big metal fan myself.”

A man once advised me to not waste electricity. "Using more power results in more electricity bills"

I told myself,



***Watt good advice***

I threatened a cop and then he cut my electricity

It was a real abuse of power

What did Zimbabwe have before candles?

Electricity.

The Lantern

Deep in the back woods of Letcher County, Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
As there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here..You hold this high so I can see wh...

My job is to visit people who are late with their electricity bills and take them off the grid if they don't pay straightaway.

Some do, some refuse.

Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time...

I was shocked

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.

I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore

these are some dark times.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another toilet paper run. Hoarders fighting in the store. I’ve finally had enough. I’ve been buying dryer sheets...

My butt smells like lavender, there’s no more static electricity,...

And my old ass, for the first time in many years is wrinkle free!



(Credit Gail Thomas, Grandma’s Funnies)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once a man, knocked on a door and an old lady opened the door. Without a word the man went in took a lot of cow dung from his bag and threw on the carpet. "You see , I have a wonder vaccum cleaner with me here, if this doesn't work I'll eat every piece of that dung" he said.

"Do you want tomato ketchup with it ? " The lady asked. "Cause you see, we still don't have electricity in this house"

With great power

With great power comes great electricity bills.

What happened to the disobedient kid who played with electricity?

He got grounded.

Why are Reddit posts about electricity never upvoted?

We prefer to give them an upvolt.

I just found out about electricity...

It gave me a real shock!

A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar.

The barman says "why the long phase?"

What’s electricity’s favorite topic?

Current events

People asked me how it feels when you stick your finger in an electricity outlet?

To be honest, it Hertz.

My favourite icecream place can't afford the electricity bill.

I hear they're having a liquidation sale.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember the time my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill

But instead I bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained what I did to my dad and he beat the crap out of me.

The next morning when my dad woke up and opened the door, there was a brand new car outside. We all cried, mainly me. Because the car was from the electr...

An entire prison was facing electricity outage for a year.

The inmates were getting very frustrated at the lack of power supply in the prison. No matter what the Jailer tried he couldn't solve the issue.

One day, the jailer realised that there was a thief named Joanna who duped people of their money and who had the reputation of being very smart had ...

Electricity is like a wife.

It's cheaper to take the neighbour's.

I caught my friend harassing some electricity.

I told him it was an abuse of power.

which is the most dangerous city?

Electricity

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is beginning to deliver the baby

The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can fini...

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