My friend was explaining electricity to me,

but I was like, ‘Watt?’

The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

What do you call liquid with electricity going through it?

Watter

What do you call London without electricity?

Londoff

I threatened a cop and then he cut my electricity

It was a real abuse of power

If you want to make money out of electricity

you should try building a buck converter.

How is life like an electricity?

You start from null, you have few fazes, and then comes the grounding.

What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?

She grounded him.

Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time...

I was shocked

I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore

these are some dark times.

How are women and electricity similar?

You don't wanna mess around with either without rubber.

My job is to visit people who are late with their electricity bills and take them off the grid if they don't pay straightaway.

Some do, some refuse.

With great power comes great electricity bill

Watt a powerful message

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance...

Then why doesn’t lightning only hit France?

What did communists use to light their houses before candles?

Electricity

Why are Reddit posts about electricity never upvoted?

We prefer to give them an upvolt.

In the past, I was so broke I couldn’t afford the electricity bill...

Those were the darkest days of my life

I just found out about electricity...

It gave me a real shock!

What happened to the disobedient kid who played with electricity?

He got grounded.

Why wasn't Bill Murray cast as Thor?

Because nobody likes an electricity bill.

What’s electricity’s favorite topic?

Current events

What is the difference between lightning and electricity

For electricity you need to pay but lightning kills for free

An entire prison was facing electricity outage for a year.

The inmates were getting very frustrated at the lack of power supply in the prison. No matter what the Jailer tried he couldn't solve the issue.

One day, the jailer realised that there was a thief named Joanna who duped people of their money and who had the reputation of being very smart had ...

People asked me how it feels when you stick your finger in an electricity outlet?

To be honest, it Hertz.

My favourite icecream place can't afford the electricity bill.

I hear they're having a liquidation sale.

A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar.

The barman says "why the long phase?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember the time my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill

But instead I bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained what I did to my dad and he beat the crap out of me.

The next morning when my dad woke up and opened the door, there was a brand new car outside. We all cried, mainly me. Because the car was from the electr...

Electricity is like a wife.

It's cheaper to take the neighbour's.

I caught my friend harassing some electricity.

I told him it was an abuse of power.

A vacuum salesman knocked on a newly built home

A lady opened the door. The salesman rushed into the home and threw rotten scrambled eggs, fries and hot dogs on the carpet floor. Before the lady said anything, the salesman said "Mam, the vacuum i have is the best in business. I'll vacuum every single thing and also ensure there is no odor. If i f...

I made a generator which created electricity through jokes that were confusing but funny regardless.

It created lots of gigglewhats.

Contrary to popular belief, Benjamin Franklin didn’t discover electricity.

He was just really shocked by it.

Before I met my girlfriend I was out of control. I was wild and always getting shocked by static electricity. But not anymore...

She really keeps me grounded.

What did the Czechs use to heat their home before Communism?

Electricity

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is in his flat watching TV.

He suddenly hears someone is knocking the door. The man goes to the door, opens and sees another man that starts speaking very fast : hello sir, you are a winner of an awesome vacuum cleaner. You have won it in a lottery and all you have to do to claim this prize is to pay 299... Then the first man ...

Three murderers are on death row. The day rolls around for their execution. The first man sits in the electric chair and the priest says...

“Any last words?” The murderer exclaims “I’m innocent!” They pull the handle, but nothing happens. The electricity doesn’t run. The priest, astonished, says “that’s a 1 in a million chance, it must be a sign from god. you have be telling the truth.” And the first murderer is free to go.

The s...

Even the most intelligent people can't survive a day without electricity

Like Stephen Hawking

If it wasn't for the sun and electricity

it would be lights out for everyone

Getting shocked by electricity doesn’t just hurt

It gigahertz

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Very Long Read:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversa...

The bad train driver

A train driver got bored during his work so decided to see how fast his train went, it went so fast the track broke and he killed someone. He got sent to court and given the death penalty by electric chair. For his final meal he chose to have a banana. He sat in the chair and the switch was flipped ...

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is beginning to deliver the baby

The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can fini...

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