A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?

She grounded him.

My friend was explaining electricity

And I was like watt?

What do you call London without electricity?

Londoff

A little boy asks his mother, "Mom, is it possible to eat electricity?"

The mother says: 'What? Where did you hear that?

The boy replied: "Yesterday I heard Dad say to you, 'Turn off the light and put it in your mouth.'

Why can’t you take electricity to social events?

Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance,

Why doesn't lighting always strike in France?

There was a point in time where I couldn’t afford to pay my electricity bills

Those were darkest days of my life.

An electrical engineer, mechanical engineer, and civil engineer are sitting in a bar

when the civil engineer wonders, "If god were an engineer, what type would he be?"

The electrical engineer says, "Oh, that's easy. Think of the human body: impulses in the brain, signals sent through muscles and nerves...god is an electrical engineer."

The mechanical engineer counters,...

Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you pleade?"

Robot, the defendant: "Guilty as charged"

I told my boss that he needs to raise my salary because two companies are after me.

Boss: "What companies are those?"

Me: "The electricity company and the water company."

Why are musicians so good with electricity?

They are always near conductors!

Electricity is a great thing...

Without it , we'd be watching television by candlelight

Water, Electricity and College students all have one thing in common...

They all follow the path of least resistance

My electricity bill is outrageous for the shoddy service I’m getting...

...I’m just not happy with my current provider.

How is life like an electricity?

You start from null, you have few fazes, and then comes the grounding.

What do arsonists and electricity have in common?

They both light up buildings

What did the Communist use before candles?

Electricity.

< Hell Around The World >



A man from Russia dies and goes to Hell. There he finds that there is a different Hell
for each country. He goes first to the German Hell and asks "What do they do
here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails...

As a child, I was afraid of the dark.

Now, when I see the electricity bill, I'm afraid of the light.

My friend recently just graduated from college with a degree in Electrical Engineering.

He applied for a job and was immediately contacted by a wealthy man who was looking for someone to help incorporate electricity onto his fence. As my friend finished his job he was about to leave when he tripped and landed right onto the fence. I don't even know if he's even alive or if he still has...

Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time...

I was shocked

A man once advised me to not waste electricity. "Using more power results in more electricity bills"

I told myself,



***Watt good advice***

How are women and electricity similar?

You don't wanna mess around with either without rubber.

I threatened a cop and then he cut my electricity

It was a real abuse of power

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car.

When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door,outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried, especially me, because the car was from the electricity company. They were there to cut off the electricity. M...

I was shocked today when I heard my neighbor..

.. telling his son the difference between Email and Gmail.

He said Email is when you use Electricity to send mail while Gmail is when you use Generator to send mail.

I'm still struggling to catch my breath.

Two big fans (you know those, the ones that produce electricity?) get into a conversation about music. One says:

“I’m a country fan.”


“Well I’m a big metal fan myself.”

How do narcissists save money on their electricity bills?

They use gaslighting.

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.

Whats the difference between a piano, a keyboard and a bottle of glue?

The piano doesnt need electricity, the keyboard does.

My job is to visit people who are late with their electricity bills and take them off the grid if they don't pay straightaway.

Some do, some refuse.

What’s electricity’s favorite topic?

Current events

I just found out about electricity...

It gave me a real shock!

A cold snap across the United States has seen Texas dealing with temperatures as low as -18

The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.

Confucius say: Man who hurts another gets charged with battery.

Man who kills another gets charged with electricity.

Electricity is like a wife.

It's cheaper to take the neighbour's.

A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar.

The barman says "why the long phase?"

My favourite icecream place can't afford the electricity bill.

I hear they're having a liquidation sale.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why, what, who?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does...

New SUV

Well Gm has planned to relaunch the Hummer line as eco friendly electric trucks. To save even more electricity the horn had been removed from the deluxe model and a bell installed attached to a cable. It will be called the Humdinger edition.

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is beginning to deliver the baby

The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can fini...

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