My friend was explaining electricity

And I was like Watt?!

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.

What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?

She grounded him.

What did communists use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity

I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore

these are some dark times.

Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time...

I was shocked

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The fastest thing in existence.

Three friends, sitting around a table, enjoying a little time together over a couple of drinks.

At some point, one says:

"The fastest thing there is? Thought. Only takes a moment and there it is: an idea.''

"Nope. Electricity is the fastest thing there is; a flick of a switch a...

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Fastest thing on Earth

4 guys are talking about what the fastest thing is. 1st guy says it’s a thought. 2nd guy says it’s the blink of an eye. 3rd guy says it’s electricity. 4th guy says it’s diarrhea, the other guys say, diarrhea? What are you talking about?
4th guy says, the other day before I could think, blink or t...

The new sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to exchange it.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."

"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:

"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start...

California pick up line

I have electricity.

What happened to the disobedient kid who played with electricity?

He got grounded.

I just found out about electricity...

It gave me a real shock!

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The Names Bond

So, James Bond retired and a new 007 took his place. She had trained all her life for this role, and was eager to do her duty for queen and country. Her first day on the job, she was introduced to Q, who debriefed her on all her new gadgets. The one he was most proud of was a dress that could perfor...

With great Power comes greater...

Electricity Bill

Why are Reddit posts about electricity never upvoted?

We prefer to give them an upvolt.

People asked me how it feels when you stick your finger in an electricity outlet?

To be honest, it Hertz.

What is the most shocking city in the world?

Electricity

An entire prison was facing electricity outage for a year.

The inmates were getting very frustrated at the lack of power supply in the prison. No matter what the Jailer tried he couldn't solve the issue.

One day, the jailer realised that there was a thief named Joanna who duped people of their money and who had the reputation of being very smart had ...

Women Friends chatting in office.

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner, we walked ...

My family’s new truck

I remember once when I was a younger kid living with my parents, my dad gave me some money to go down to the grocery store to pay the electricity bill.

Thinking I was a super lucky kid & kind of smart, I decided to buy scratch-off tickets instead. Surprise, surprise - yeah, none of them w...

In the past, I was so broke I couldn’t afford the electricity bill...

Those were the darkest days of my life

I caught my friend harassing some electricity.

I told him it was an abuse of power.

The PM of Canada issued the building of a dam

The dam was finished and started working, giving the people much needed electricity. Years passed, and the PM eventually got a pet deer which he named Frenklie. When a privatisation wave had recently hit his country, the deer asked him why he wasn't giving the dam for privatisation as well. The deer...

A group of young men were sitting around the coffee shop complaining about how hard it was to get by in this day and age.

Bob, an old timer, was listening to them and finally spoke. “You kids don’t know what hard times are. Why, when I was your age we were so poor we couldn’t afford electricity. Why, we even had to watch television by candle light.”

Three guys were talking whose wife is stupid.

The first one said:"My wife bought more toaster, but we don't even have thelectricity at home."


The second one said: "My wife bought a washing machine, but we don't have water nor electricity at home."


The third one said: "Mine is even worse. A few days ago, she went out with h...

What is the difference between lightning and electricity

For electricity you need to pay but lightning kills for free

My favourite icecream place can't afford the electricity bill.

I hear they're having a liquidation sale.

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I remember the time my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill

But instead I bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained what I did to my dad and he beat the crap out of me.

The next morning when my dad woke up and opened the door, there was a brand new car outside. We all cried, mainly me. Because the car was from the electr...

A thing to ponder

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why does lightning not always strike in France?

Trains

HE LOVED DRIVING TRAINS

In fact, it was his passion. Ever since he was a little boy, his dream was to drive trains. Soon after high school, he got an apprenticeship, and a little while later he got his train-driving liscence and started his career. Oh, the joy! He was having the best time of ...

A jumper I got for my birthday kept picking up static electricity.

So I took it back to the shop and exchanged it for another one.


Free of charge

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All his life, Timmy wanted to be a train conductor.

He graduated top of his class in train school, and was hired by the most prestigious train company to conduct their new Super Train. This train could carry 1,000 passengers and was very expensive to manufacture.

Yet little Timmy had one fatal flaw. He has a very short attention span.

...

Watt?

Kevin is working on a assignment and forgot what the name was for the messurement unit of electricity. He turns to he his classmate and ask him “can I ask you something”, his classmate answers “yeah, watt is it?”, kevin responds with “yeah I think it is”

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An Irish peasant

An Irish peasant named Kory Andrea grew up knowing nothing but potatoes. His dad farmed potatoes, and his dad farmed potatoes, all the way back a thousand years. He had spent the entirety of his first twenty years on this Earth farming and harvesting potatoes.

One day, as if suddenly, the pot...

I told you I was broke

A little lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning" said the young man. "If I can take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high power vacuum cleaner"

"G...

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