My friend was explaining electricity

And I was like watt?

What do you call London without electricity?

Londoff

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance,

Why doesn't lighting always strike in France?

What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?

She grounded him.

The sweater my wife gave me for Xmas was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you pleade?"

Robot, the defendant: "Guilty as charged"

I'm finally getting some relief from sky high electricity bills.

The power has been out for days, and they don't have a restoration estimate

Electricity is a great thing...

Without it , we'd be watching television by candlelight

My friend recently just graduated from college with a degree in Electrical Engineering.

He applied for a job and was immediately contacted by a wealthy man who was looking for someone to help incorporate electricity onto his fence. As my friend finished his job he was about to leave when he tripped and landed right onto the fence. I don't even know if he's even alive or if he still has...

What do arsonists and electricity have in common?

They both light up buildings

I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise....

My boss asked “what companies? “

Gas, water and electricity

In my college days I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

A cold snap across the United States has seen Texas dealing with temperatures as low as -18

The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.

Water, Electricity and College students all have one thing in common...

They all follow the path of least resistance

My electricity bill is outrageous for the shoddy service I’m getting...

...I’m just not happy with my current provider.

How is life like an electricity?

You start from null, you have few fazes, and then comes the grounding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A male teacher is teaching physics in an all girls school. One day, he was teaching the topic of electricity.

"A net electrical charge means the resulting electrical charge on an object. It normally means if an object has a majority of positive or negative charge. Do you understand?"

To this, his students stared at him blankly, some shaking their heads cautiously.

The teacher sighed and tried...

What did Russians use to light their houses before candles?

Electricity.

Two big fans (you know those, the ones that produce electricity?) get into a conversation about music. One says:

“I’m a country fan.”


“Well I’m a big metal fan myself.”

Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time...

I was shocked

I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore

these are some dark times.

How do narcissists save money on their electricity bills?

They use gaslighting.

A man once advised me to not waste electricity. "Using more power results in more electricity bills"

I told myself,



***Watt good advice***

How are women and electricity similar?

You don't wanna mess around with either without rubber.

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.

My job is to visit people who are late with their electricity bills and take them off the grid if they don't pay straightaway.

Some do, some refuse.

I threatened a cop and then he cut my electricity

It was a real abuse of power

I just found out about electricity...

It gave me a real shock!

What’s electricity’s favorite topic?

Current events

A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar.

The barman says "why the long phase?"

People asked me how it feels when you stick your finger in an electricity outlet?

To be honest, it Hertz.

Electricity is like a wife.

It's cheaper to take the neighbour's.

My favourite icecream place can't afford the electricity bill.

I hear they're having a liquidation sale.

An entire prison was facing electricity outage for a year.

The inmates were getting very frustrated at the lack of power supply in the prison. No matter what the Jailer tried he couldn't solve the issue.

One day, the jailer realised that there was a thief named Joanna who duped people of their money and who had the reputation of being very smart had ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember the time my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill

But instead I bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained what I did to my dad and he beat the crap out of me.

The next morning when my dad woke up and opened the door, there was a brand new car outside. We all cried, mainly me. Because the car was from the electr...

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is beginning to deliver the baby

The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can fini...

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