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Gas Pump Jokes

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(NSFW) An Alien craft lands in the middle of nowhere. One of the aliens walks up to a gas pump and says "Take me to your leader"...

An Alien craft lands in the middle of nowhere. One of the aliens walks up to a gas pump and says "Take me to your leader".

The gas pump doesn't respond.

The alien repeats his demand "Take me to your leader"

Again, the gas pump does not respond. The alien starts to get a litt...

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Two Aliens

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling.
We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The ...

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Two aliens walk up to a gas pump

Two aliens, a general and his lieutenant, walk up to a gas pump. The general, while pointing a gun at the pump says “take me to your leader!”.

The gas pump obviously says nothing. The second alien in command tells his general “hey man I don’t think you should mess with this guy”.

Wit...

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What do a gas pump nozzle and a penis have in common?

No matter how much you shake them, they still leak a little bit when you try and put them away.

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One night, two aliens descend from outer space...

...and land their little spaceship next to an old gas station in a small town. They get out and walk up to one of the old gas pumps.
The little alien says
"Take me to your leader."
The gas pump doesn't say or do anything. Slightly annoyed, the little alien repeats
"Take me to your lea...

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Aliens Encounter A Gas Station

Two aliens from outer space come down to Earth and land next to a gas station. They debate who to talk to and approach a gas pump. The one alien commands, "Take me to your leader." Nothing happens. The alien gets angry, points his ray gun and says, "Take me to to your leader or I'll zap you to dust!...

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Two aliens land at a deserted gas station...

Two aliens land at a deserted gas station. They climb out of their space ship and all they can see is a gas pump.

The first alien looks right at the gas pump and says “Take me to your leader”.

Not surprisingly the gas pump says nothing.

The alien repeats “Take me to you lead...

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Two aliens land on Earth in the middle of nowhere near a gas station and one of them gets out to make first contact.

He goes to the gas pump and says "Hello, we're from outer space, and we'd like to establish relations, how can I find your leader?"

Obviously, the pump doesn't respond so the alien is rather annoyed by such rudeness but he tries again.

"Yeah so we're just trying to get in touch with yo...

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"Are we alone"

These two little martians land at a closed gas station in a small town in the middle of the night. The two little martians come out of their flying saucer and walk up to the gas pump and say “take me to your leader”. Well of course the gas pump doesn’t say anything and the little martian says it aga...

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Alien experiment

So these 2 aliens get orders to go to this new planet earth and abduct a human for studying. The aliens, not knowing what a human looks like, happen to land at a gas station.

Alien A walks up to the gas pump and shrugs and says, " human surrender and come with us" the gas pump doesn't do any...

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Phil Mickelson Pulls into a Full Service Station

Phil pulled his brand new Escalade up to the gas pumps and an attendant hurried out.

He was in awe of Escalades and really wanted to see it up close. As he was filling the tank, he asked Phil if his ride had extra features.

Phil said, "Indeed it does. It came packed with all the lates...

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2 aliens patrolling the universe looking for intelligent life.

There are these 2 aliens, one new and one seasoned regarding searching the universe for intelligent life.

They come across earth and decide to land out of all places the desert. They are walking for what seems like miles in search of any intelligent life when they come across a gas station.<...

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2 aliens go to a gas station

Alien 1 says to a gas pump "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER"
Alien 2 warns the other alien "hey watch out dude he seems like a badass"
Alien 1 says "NONSENSE, TAKE ME YOUR LEADER NOW OR DIE"
Alien 1 then shoots the gas pump and there is a huge explosion knocking them both down
Alien 1 asks "how ...

An officer was at a gas station grabbing some coffee...

When a guy smoking at the gas pump hands caught fire. The guy runs into the store waving his hands causing the fire to spread up his shirt toward his shoulders as he’s shouting at the attendant to help him. Suddenly the cop pulls his weapon and shoots the man dead.

The attendant looks at the ...

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Two aliens are trying to figure out how to infiltrate earth to blend in...

They spend a lot of time watching how people go about their lives and decide the first thing they need to do to exist and blend is get money to thrive. They land their spaceship in a cornfield and walk to the closest place they can find, a gas station. They walk up to the gas pump and demand it give...

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