UPJOKE
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A Farmer and the Interviewer

Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?

Farmer: Which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 liters per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 liters per day.



Interviewer: Where do they sleep?
...

Who can drink 2 liters of gasoline

Jerry can

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide....

What weighs 10 tons, consumes 20 liters of diesel per hour and splits apples into three parts?

A Soviet apple quartering machine.

An Irishman just drank 100 liters of beer in 30 minutes.

They called it a Guinness World Record.

Old Soviet joke. What is huge, noisy, eats 20 liters of gas per hour and cuts apples in 3 pieces?

Soviet machine that cuts apples in 4 pieces.

A man is stuck in a traffic jam

A man is struck in a traffic jam

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. 

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" 

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire politicians, and they are asking for a 1 million crore rupees ransom. 

Otherwise, they are gong to...

Did you hear about the guy who tried to run a race with empty two-liters as shoes?

Yeah... He was soda feeted.

A huge traffic appeared on the highway

Most people got out of their cars to see what’s going on. In the distance they spotted a man holding a donation box. As the man was walking from car to car he got stopped by one upset driver.

The driver proceeded to ask him “ what’s going on? Why are we being stopped here for hours already?”...

Even in the metric system you serve tea in tea cups, and not in

tea liters.



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What’s as big as a house, burns 20 liters of fuel every hour, puts out a shit-load of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into three pieces?

A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces.



Joke you've probably already heard in the amazing TV Show Chernobyl

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a brewery, the ceiling is getting painted

One of the painters falls into a barrel with 1000 liters of beer and drowns. His boss then goes to the colleague's wife to report the death. "Did my husband suffer much?" "I don't think so, he went out to take a piss three times."

A hiker in the mountains, meets a shepherd with a flock of sheep.

He ask him:

\+ Do sheep give a lot of wool?

\- Which? the white or the black ones?

The surprised hiker tells him:

\+ Well, the white ones.

\- About seven kilos of wool per season.

\+ And the black ones?

\- Seven kilos as well.

\+ And do...

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Neighbours

A spaced out man decides to visit his neighbor in the apartment below him and share a joint. Whilst high as kites he asks his neighbour: heyyyyy, I love the paint job you did. Since my apartment is identical in size to yours tell me how much paint did you buy to paint this place? The neighbour says:...

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