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Found a rusty propane tank like thing burried in my backyard today. As I open it with an angle grinder

My mind was blown

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I wanted to tune up my ass like an instrument so my farts sounded beautiful I'd probably pump propane up in there.

That'll get my acetoned.

Why do masochistic people tend to explode?

Because they are propane

Burnt

I burned myself on a cup of coffee earlier…..it was amateur pain. However I burnt myself on my grill not too long after that…..it was propane.

You are either anti-pain or …

Propane

A man is falling out of a plane.

A man is falling out of a plane, intending to go parachuting. He pulls the ripcord, and it breaks.

Okay, he thinks. That's why there's a backup. He pulls the backup ripcord, and... It breaks.

At this point, he's thoroughly worried. But then, he sees a guy flying up right at him, as tho...

A magician is performing for the crew of a ship.

A magician is performing for a crew on a ship, each performance he does the ships captain comes with his parrot. But his parrot always ruins the trick by saying “ It’s in his sleeve!” Or “it’s In his hat!” One day the magician got fed up with the parrot, and during one of his performances he took ou...

There's this cruise ship.

There's this cruise ship and there's a magician that works on the ship and the captain had a parrot that liked to go to the show everynight. The parrot understood the show and since it could talk it would give away everything. "ohh, he's puttin' it in his sock bbbrrrrrrkkkkk" "he put it up his sleev...

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