UPJOKE
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Two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One dog says to the other...

How do you like that? Pay toilets.

What happened to the frog who didn’t pay the parking meter?

He got toad.

Today, Ronald McDonald put a quarter in my expired parking meter ...

what a kind jester!

The town drunk stumbles over to a parking meter, stands in front of it, and reads that there are sixty minutes left until it expires.

“I don’t believe it!” he cries out. “I’ve lost 100 pounds!”

I came up with this in math class

This guy goes to interview for a job. He’s really nervous about it, because this job is a super big opportunity for him. He goes in, and the interviewer introduces herself, saying “Hi, my name is Karen”. They immediately start talking about the job, and the guy is answering all of Karen’s questions ...

One time, I took acid and saw all these lollipops coming out of the ground.

Then I chipped a tooth on a parking meter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Patty the Irishman was drinking at his favorite watering hole...

When George the bartender looked up, "Patty it's closing time, get yer home Elaine is going to have your head!"

"Oh I know, I know."

Patty got up, and immediately fell down. He crawled to the door, pulled himself up on the handle and fell through the door to the sidewalk outside. H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pope Francis came to visit the US…

He was to address the UN in the morning, and give mass at Madison Square Garden later that day. After the UN address, the pope was given a chauffeur driven limo to get to MSG in time for the mass. Leaving the UN, he ran into New York City bumper-to-bumper traffic, and was stuck with the time for m...
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