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Spaces Jokes

Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because people are getting taller

Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon

They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

Women are like car parking spaces...

Usually, most of the good ones are taken....
So once in a while, you gotta stick it in a disabled one

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I..

...also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

Our local cemetery is running out of spaces ...

...It’s a grave issue

A company owner was asked a question,

How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

Me: What's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.

Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?

Me: Sure. How much is that?

Bartender: $3.

Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Choose a new password :

Choose a new password :

potato

Sorry, password must contain at least 8 letters.

boiled potato

Sorry, password must contain at least one number.

1 boiled potato

Sorry, password cannot contain spaces

50fuckingboiledpotatoes

Sorry, password mu...

The UK just passed a law so that corporations have to post earnings statements in public spaces to be accessible, like in parks, metro stations, high-density residential areas...

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

Bloody Passwords

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I really don't like tight spaces.

That's why I shag your mum.

I found a parking lot with only two spaces

It’s really a parking little.

Everyone keeps talking about these “safe spaces”...

well call me old fashioned but I’m going to keep calling them banks!

Bill is smart, He built only 20 parking spaces.

One company owner asked the other- Tell me Bill, How come your employees are always on time in the morning?

Bill- Easy 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: "i'm terrified of those big empty spaces people yell into."

Therapist: "A void."

Me: "Good advice, thank you."

Hooters

Two men grow up together as friends. After college, one moves to Ohio, and the other moves to Colorado. They agree to meet every 10 years in Florida to play some golf and catch up with each other.


At age 35 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.


One asks, "...

Parking spaces are similiar to girls...

All the best ones are taken so sometimes you have to stick it in a disabled one.

And once you choose one you always see a better one.


(Edit) spelling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One night, two aliens descend from outer space...

...and land their little spaceship next to an old gas station in a small town. They get out and walk up to one of the old gas pumps.
The little alien says
"Take me to your leader."
The gas pump doesn't say or do anything. Slightly annoyed, the little alien repeats
"Take me to your lea...

Mr. Johnson boarded a plane to New York City. He was about to sit down in the aisle seat he had booked when he saw a blonde woman sitting in his seat.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" sputtered Mr. Johnson. "I specifically booked this seat! Why aren't you sitting in your seat?!"

The blonde woman replied, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I'm sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City."

Angrily, Mr. Johnson snatched the blo...

Have you heard about the man with an irrational fear of empty spaces?

Nothing scares him

Cargo Space

So, a man goes into a car dealership. He asks the dealer, "cargo space?". The dealer replies "car no do that. car go road."

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital

Just to test their patients

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is late for work, and desperately tries to find a parking space...

His boss has already told him before that if he is late one more time, he'll be fired on the spot.

The man is circling around the parking lot, but still all the spaces are completely full.

Suddenly, the man stops his car, puts his hands together and looks towards the sky.

"Dear ...

Potatoes in space

So Russia decided to launch a satellite full of potatoes into orbit to see what would happen.
Apparently it’s called the SPUNDnic

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