Parking Spot Jokes

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

And directly hit my car.


This dude has pretty serious issues with pulling out.

He is surprised to find they are sitting there, literally just reading.

"Why are you reading? How old are you?"

"I'm 19 officer."

"And her?"

"Oh, she'll be 18 in 20 minutes."

I had to climb out of the car through the sunroof.

Anyone and everyone can see it, but only you actually get to use it.

Legs

can I park there if I don’t talk much?

A Dryveway

Two men grow up together as friends. After college, one moves to Ohio, and the other moves to Colorado. They agree to meet every 10 years in Florida to play some golf and catch up with each other.


At age 35 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.


One asks, "... read more

The time I’ve let other people run over me is past

Only two-door cars were allowed.

Road rage should permanently be renamed to carnage.

He got toad

I don't actually need to go to the bank, but the opportunity was to good to give up.

Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.

A policeman, patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot, saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting.

Stopping to investigate, he walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The ... read more

And there is no parking spot, so he says "God, if you give me parking spot, I will convert myself and become Christian".

Two minutes later he says "Nevermind I found one"

A Salesman is Late for an important meeting, but as he is driving around looking for a parking spot, he realises they are all taken. Desperately, he begins to pray

"Please lord!" He says, "If you let me find a spot I will attend church every week and never drink beer again!"

Suddenly, ... read more

Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot.

Without hesitation, the man says: “Never mind, I found one!”

Feeling the panic of waking up late, he throws on his suit as quickly as he can and rushes out the door to drive to work. As he begins the commute through the Tel Aviv rush hour traffic, he painfully watches the clock as his meeting starts without him.

Finally he pulls into his parking lot, ... read more

...in New York City. He's circling trying to find a parking spot by the hospital as tome is ticking down. After 15 minutes of circling, he looks to the sky and says "God, please help me find a parking spot." As his eyes move from the sky back to the road, he sees a car leaving a spot right in front ... read more

Late for an important meeting, a man is stuck in traffic and has been looking for a parking spot for over an hour.

Out of options he starts praying: please oh please God help me find a parking spot!

As soon as he finishes his plea, a parking spot gets free exactly in front of him!
<... read more

Think I will go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on.

There was a Jewish businessman who was almost late at an important business meeting where punctuality was highly priced. But there were no empty parking spots around and the time was running. He looked to the sky and prayed: "Dear God, give me a parking spot now and I will donate 100 thousand to the... read more

for a court appearance was having trouble finding a parking spot down town. In solemn prayer he asked the Lord of Heaven to help him find a parking spot. In return he would give up his Irish whiskey and go to Sunday Mass for the rest of his life. Suddenly there, like the Red Sea parting, appeared a ... read more

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot that overlooked a golf course. He drove by and noticed a couple inside with the interior dome light on.

In the driver's seat there was a young man reading a computer magazine, while in the backseat was a young woman knitting. Recognizing this as... read more

\-How is the baby, doctor?

\-Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that your child will always have a parking spot.

He was getting late and couldn't find a spot to park his car. In desperation he began to pray to God.

"Oh God! If you find me a parking spot I promise to go to church every Sunday, I will not flirt with Sally next door and will never touch whiskey again."

Just as he finishes his prayer... read more

Luckily, it freed up three parking spots.

So this guy, Seamus, is driving around a parking lot, looking for a spot so he can run in and use the bathroom. After a good fifteen minutes of searching, he's frustrated and desperate, and decides to seek help from a higher power.

"Dear Lord," he says, "If you help me find a parking spot, I... read more

He's driving through the city looking for a place to park. Unable to find one he looks up and says, "God, if you find me a parking spot, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life." Just after he finishes saying this, a spot appears. The man turns to God and says, "Nevermind, I found o... read more

A young man approaches a bus stop to find an older gentleman man sitting down and just facing forward. “Hell..of...a… driver…” says the older gent. The young man doesn’t think much of it. A few minutes pass and again the man blurts out “Hell of a driver!” Perplexed, the young man turns the older man... read more

He immediately flips on his lights and gives chase. She careens at a corner and knocks over a mailbox, then jumps the sidewalk sending pedestrians scrambling for safety. She gets back onto the road and approaches a red light with traffic stopped, but swerves into the opposite lane crossing the doubl... read more