UPJOKE
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How do you circumcise a trailer park meth dealer?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

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So a 17 year old kid just got a job at a Everything-plus kind of store. The manager tells him that he needs to sell at least $500 of their products per week.

The manager comes a week later and asks the kid how much he made, and the kid says he made $100,000. The manager asks how he did it. So the kid says that a man came in on Friday needing some fishing lures, so he sold him the most expensive pack of lures. He then said to the man “ You’ll need a good ...

A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.

'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did...

Just saw the new infinity wars trailer today and to me, it was pretty obvious who's dying.

Well, so long, DC.

Two Sisters...

One blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They ...

The “Avengers: Endgame” trailer had 289 million views in 24 hours.

It would have been 578 million views, but...

I saw a movie trailer about 30 trapped chillean miners...

Apparently Jared from subway had a stash...

(I'm so sorry about this, I just thought of it and needed to get it out)

Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie.

He should've watched the trailer.

I was surprised to find that "Trailer Park Barbie" doesn't come with bruising on her body

Then I realized battery not included

A redhead goes to buy a bull

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one ...

Did you hear about that lorry driver that got pulled over and taken to jail for the white powder in the trailer?

It turned out to be sodium chloride, poor driver got arrested for a-salt.

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig

and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then they began fittin...

A Spanish man is driving a tractor trailer across France and into Italy.

A Spanish man is driving a tractor trailer across France and into Italy. At the border he gets stopped by the French police and questioned about the contents of his truck. "Caracoles" he says. Not understanding, the police open it up and say "Oh, escargots." The Spanish man replies, "Sì, es cargo."

I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

Dear Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all ...

What do people who live in trailer parks and spiders have in common?

The males are usually only half the females size.

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

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Scoutmaster

Dear Dad & Mom,

Our scoutmaster told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 Sleeping bags got washed away.

Luckily, none of us got drowned because we we're all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happen...

Nintendo recently found a truck that was stolen in 2015 and all the Wii games were still in the trailer.

They released them for sale at only $59.99.

People tried telling me I couldn't pull a trailer with my car

but it went off without a hitch.

The trailer for Rambo 5 is out..

What's he fighting now? Arthritis?

Star Wars Trailer: No one is ever really gone...

"Meesa lead tha First Order to victory now, okietay?"

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Bubba got drunk and died in a fire in his trailer.

He was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they called his two buddies Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe to I.D. him.

Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. "Yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. Roll 'im over," said Jim-Bob.

The mortician rolled ...

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Why do donkey trailers go faster when they're full?

Because they're hauling ass.

I live in a trailer park and noises tend to travel.

My neighbour was banging this chick he brought home and it felt like it had been going on for hours. I was getting annoyed so in my best Mortal Kombat voice I yelled out, “FINISH HER!!!”
Thankfully they finished a few minutes later.
About 2 hours later I hear my neighbour yell out in his Mort...

Why don't people in trailer parks invest in the stock market?

Because their money is tied up in bonds.

A guy calls the RV place where he bought his travel trailer to ask what he needs to do to winterize it.

The guy says, “bring it on over and I’ll summarize it for you.”

The owner of the trailer says, “no, I need it WINTER……never mind! I’ll figure it out myself!”

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TIL Two girls, one cup is only the trailer for a full length movie

That shit goes on much longer

A city boy was getting ready to move to the country...

He went a local horse breeder and bought a fine looking horse for a $1000 and told the man he'd be back in a week when he moved in to pick it up.

A week later the city boy drives his brand new truck and horse trailer to the breeder's ranch to pick up the horse.

The rancher says, "Sorry...

In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains:

"Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."

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What did the trailer park girl say after losing her virginty?

get off dad you're crushing my smokes

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After driving for 10 hours, a truck driver get pulled over by a police officer

PO: Do you know why you got pulled over?

TD: No not really.

PO: Come on out I’ll show you.

The truck driver get out of his truck and the police officer pointed to the brokers taillight

TD: Oh fuck boss is going to kill me!

PO: Its fine, it’s only a small fine.
<...

What do you call a trailer​ park fire?

Firecrackers

The Sonic trailer dropped on the eve of Ramadan.

This is because he gotta go fast.

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I saw a truck with donkeys in the trailer...

It was hauling ass.

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Armed robbers have recently stolen a semi trailer full of Viagra

The police had said to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals

Q: What do tornado's and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

"Dude, I really gotta go to the bathroom"

"We got a new Porta Potty backstage"
"Good, I can finally stop going in your trailer."
"...You've been using the bathroom in my trailer?"
"...... Your trailer has a bathroom?"

A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Mississippi.

...Resulting in river failure.

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Naked Cowboy

A sheriff of a small town is patrolling the town one night when he comes across a cowboy walking up Main St. The cowboy is wearing nothing except his hat, boots, and gunbelt. The sheriff is a bit surprised at first but gets over his initial shock and arrests the cowboy for indecent exposure.

...

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Did you know Hitler was very opposed to tractor-trailers?

Turns out he was a huge anti-semi.

For some reason, I have a hard time renting trailers.

I never seem to pull it off without a hitch.

I just saw the Assassins Creed Movie Trailer...

I did not expect The Spanish Inquisition.

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Marry a virgin?

It's their wedding night and a redneck couple are getting ready to have sex for the first time. As the bride is getting ready in the bathroom she tells her husband Bobby Joe to take it "easy on her, on accounts that she is a virgin and all". "BAM!!" as she hears the door on the trailer slam then w...

New bull on the farm

Three bulls on the farm. They were just working out divvying up the heifers (young female cows). The biggest claims 60 of the 100 heifers. The second one claims 30 and the smallest, a puny runt gets 10.

Just as they ironed out the details, a huge trailer rolls up and out walks a monster of a ...

A man is driving down the motor way in the fast lane with a trailer full of monkeys

he notices his friends jeep in the adjacent lane. He slows down and ushers his friend to pull down the window.

"John I'm in a massive rush, if I give you $50 could you bring these monkeys to the zoo?"

"No problem" replies John

About 4 hours later, the man drives the o...

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south?

Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

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