UPJOKE
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An Engineer accidentally goes to Hell instead of Heaven

An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.

The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily.

The TV was grain...

What do you call a river under a walkway?

I don't know. I guess it's just water under the bridge now.

An Englishman, A Frenchman, A Spaniard and A German go to a magic show



They arrive late so all the seats were taken. The 4 gentlemen decide to stand in the narrow walkway at the back, one behind the other.

The Magician on stage notices them standing there, and asks the gentlemen:

"Can you all see me from there?"

So the gentlemen reply in or...

Weigh station

Once there was a British family that was touring the U.S.A. They were driving on the highway and and saw a sign for a stop! So the mother pulls down the road to a rather peculiar place, and stops when they find themselves on a peculiar looking pad.

A man walk out of the building and explain...

If mental hospitals had walkways...

They'd be called psychopaths.

Two men sit collecting donations on either side of the walkway leading up to the church...

One wore a giant cross on his chest, the other wore a giant star of David on his chest.

Every day people would look at the guy with the star of David, smile and give an extra donation to the guy with the cross. Every now and then, someone would toss a few cents to the guys with the star of D...

Pentagon Contract

A contractor arrives home from Washington, D.C. and proudly tells his wife that he’s gotten the contract to fix a cracked walkway into the Pentagon.

“Two other contractors showed up to bid on the job,” he explained to her. “One was from Minnesota, the other from Tennessee. All three of us wen...

Ugliest baby in the world

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver looks at the baby and exclaims "That is the ugliest baby I have ever seen!".

All upset the woman walks to the very back of the bus and takes a seat.

A man sitting on the seat across from the walkway notices the upset look on her fa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young guy was visiting his friend at Harvard University.

He was supposed to meet his friend at the library, but he got lost. He sees another guy coming up the walkway, so he asks, "Hey man, where's the library at?"

Th student turns up his nose and says, "Here at Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition."

The guy replied, "Sorry, m...

So there’s this old, old zookeeper who is nearing retirement.

In fact, she’s so old that she has been employed at the zoo since it first opened. Since she’s been there so long, the zoo has entrusted her with taking care of the two most valuable exhibits in the zoo.

First, she is responsible for feeding an ancient lion. This lion is actually so old that...

There once was a lady who lived in a yellow house...

Everything in the house was yellow, yellow bricks, a yellow walkway, yellow stairs, a yellow door, yellow walls, yellow ceilings, yellow floors, yellow furniture and yellow utensils.

One day, she walked into her yellow house through the yellow door, down the yellow hall and sat down in her y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nuns see a naked man statue in the park!

So the man is about to have sex with his lady, he's naked and ready to go, when his lady says she has to have bubblegum. So he runs out butt-naked thru the park at night to the store, buys the gum, and is headed back thru the park when he sees three nuns coming. So he just stands on the side of the ...

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