Live With Jokes

Both parents agreed the child should be sheen and not heard.

When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it. After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter. Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a numb... read more

It's quite helpful when you have a basket you don't want to break.

One day he comes home to find her passed out on the floor. He calls 911, the paramedics come and pick her up and take her to the hospital.

The guy goes to the hospital and is in the waiting room when the doctor comes out.

The doctor says, “Well, I have some good news and some bad new... read more

She doesnt clean the flat, she doesn't cook and she basically just uses me for free rides.

I'm want to move so badly but my boyfriend says "we can't abandon our daughter."

That's the last time I do a gig at an orphanage.

Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband. I am coming to live with you again.”

Mother: “No, he should pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.”

"No, I will also live with your sister."

You don't.

It costed 8.50$

...found my mom's body.

Smh worst day of my life,
I loved that turtle

...and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes. One day, the Chief's wife gives birth to... a white child!

The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professo... read more

But on the plus side, only two more sleeps until Christmas

"Are you crazy??? And how will you do with the stench? "

"Ehhhh .... he will get used to it! "

I live with my boyfriend and my brother, both of whom I love very much but in very different ways. The only thing they have in common is they’ve both shared a bath with me at some point in their lives. One was a very erotic experience and the other, he did a poo whilst we were still sat in. It ruine... read more

Killer: "Better than my victims."

Although I have to say, it was sad making them leave the house

"I'm too tired" and "I have a headache" are the only two stories I hear...

Asbestos they can

Can't live with them.

Got invited to a breeding circle but all everyone did was look at books.

You stay positive.

But really, it's not that hard.

Her mother was walking by her room and heard from inside "buuzzzzzzzz zzzzz bzzzzz." She opened the door to see her daughter laying on the bed playing her "toy" and yelled "what is going on in here?!" Her daughter replied "mom, I'm 40 years old, still live with my parents, this is the closest thing... read more

I said, “Divorce is strong with this one…”

So I became a bomb disposal technician

Ir was tough at first but it's been a stable relationship.

Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you.

Although, I'm surprised that he referred to them as the "youth in Asia".

Her kids don't help either.

before they caved

... I'm 33.

...until she realized I was there

...and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. 'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your moth... read more

She said, "not at all, I'm going to live with my sister." Then she asked me when she dies, would I remarry. I replied, "of course not, I'm going to live with your sister."

There, the three women meet the caretaker of heaven. He points out that there is only one rule in Heaven; do not step on the turtles. An odd rule but the women agree with a pinch of confusion. When they enter, the only thing they can see are turtles. Everywhere turtles. A croak croak here, a croak c... read more