UPJOKE
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Hey Reddit, what are your favorite lame jokes?

"Wanna hear a pizza joke?"

"Nevermind, it's too cheesy."
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(An old, lame joke) A physicist, a chemist and a biologist visit a beach.

They were bored sitting empty, so they decided to perform some experiments.

The physicist says, "I'm gonna measure the depth of the sea." He proceeds to dive into the sea, but goes too deep. He gets crushed by the underwater pressure, drowns and dies.

The biologist says, "I'm gonna dis...
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Frank and Fiona Lames were very upstanding citizens.

They worked very normal 9-5s, were involved in the community, and cheered for [insert reader’s favorite sports team].


The lovely couple had two teenage children: Felicity and Felix. The two youngsters were nothing like their parents. They went were pranksters and miscreants, always getti...
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Roses are red, reposting is lame,

But not every joke here is always the same.
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My dad's lame holiday joke

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas. Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the...
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You might be a lame news network if

you get banned from a courtroom for stalking the jurors.
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Non Australians may not get this lame joke

Q: What's the name of Ben 10's older brother?

A: Glen 20
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A lame German joke in translation

At the doctors office:


Did you take my advice and sleep with the window open?


Yes, I did.


So, did the cough disappear?


The only thing that's disappeared is my laptop and my smartphone.
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I apologise for my lame jokes

I am afflicted with a crippling sense of humour
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Roses are Red, Reposters are lame

[This post has been removed due to a copyright claim.]
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Military puns are pretty lame.

Generally speaking.
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Pretty lame I guess depends on how many of you get it.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Door mum

Door mum who?

I've come to bargain
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Lame Date

A girl turned up on a blind date only to find that the guy had no arms or legs. Apparently he was a military vet who lost his limbs in action in some war.



Still not wanting to be policitally incorrect, she decided that its just dinner and it couldn't hurt.



Much to her s...

Favorite lame chemistry joke

Argon walks into a bar, bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve noble gasses here".

Argon didn't react
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Girls on dating apps get bombarded with too many lame and boring messages

For them, finding the good ones is like finding a needle in a hey-stack.
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I went to a pharmacy and asked for 50 condoms.

There were 2 girls behind me who started laughing. I turned around and looked them straight in the eyes and said, "make that 52".
.
.
.
.
.
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Now both of them have condom balloons :D
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My favorite lame joke

And God said unto John: Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life.
But john came fifth, and won a toaster.


I know, it's stupid and overused, but it's my favorite...
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Came up with this one 6 years ago. Zelda Lame Joke #18:

What hotel does Link stay at?

..


..




..


.
.


The Hyatt!
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A lame joke I made up based on an existing joke. Sorry if it's bad.

One day Sean joined a quiz team.

He and his teammates studied really hard for a quiz competition.

On the night of the quiz competition, in the last round, Sean and his team was 1 point behind first place.

However, they had one more question that if answered correctly, would awar...
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I am 70% lame, 50% ugly

and the remaining % good in maths
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Lame search

Guy dies of heart attack and goes straight to the line that leads to the gates of heaven. When in there, the guy immediately behind him asks him: hey, what did you die of? He says: oh, I got earlier from work at home, saw some man’s clothes in my house, thought my wife was cheating on me and started...
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Which sport is more lame: frisbee, or curling?

Discus
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Drummers always have such lame jokes...

I've heard them all like a Zildjian times.
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Here's some Lame Game Dev Humour:

So, I used to work at a studio - doesn't really matter where - and there was this one guy who'd always be around. Just around. I didn't want to seem impolite so I never asked what he did. I kept my head down and did my thing, you know. I mostly forgot about him, except for when I'd be working late a...
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Kind of lame jokes I make up for myself after reading the dictionary.

Someone asked was I being sesquipedalianist just to make a joke on reddit! Which I repudiate!
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunchback and his lame buddy are drinking in a bar...

A hunchback and his lame buddy are drinking in a bar. It's getting close to midnight and the hunchback says he needs to get home to the wife. He finishes his drink and says goodnight to his mate.

Realizing the wife will cuss him out for coming home drunk and late he decides to take a shortc...

What do you call a lame Greek pun?

An Artemiss.
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Good kid joke. Lame adult joke.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Salad.
Salad who?
It's the salad! Lettuce in!
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My friends say my geology jokes are lame

but I think they rock.
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Facebook may not make the lame walk again...

But it sure allows the dumb to speak.
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My dad told a lame joke today

I told him to stop because he never makes funny jokes.
His replay was - I made you didn't I?
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Why is North Korea so lame?

It's got no Seoul.
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I went to a lame reggae concert once

It was dreadful
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I thought my golf joke was pretty lame,

but everyone kept assuring me that it was subpar.
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Pikachu evolves into Raichu, what does a lame joke evolves into?

Gotchu!
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Here's a Chinese lame joke I translated...

General Cao and his army of thirty thousand men were eating a gigantic bean bun.

The bean bun was so huge that that they ate for three days and three nights, and all that time it was all crust and no filling.

On the fourth day, they finally hit on something, but it wasn't bean filling....
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Lame joke of the day.

Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game?

He had tripped a fan.
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My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the middle of the desert, an Arab's camel lamed.

Fortunately he quickly found a garage to fix it. They slowly led the camel over a pit, whacked its balls with a pair of bricks and like a rocket it ran off into the desert.

"Great work", the Arab said, "but how am I supposed to get to my camel now?"

"Slowly walk over the pit..."

I finally have to admit that my hip-hop is weak and my rhymes are lame...

...so I am forced to hand in my too wack notice.
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I had a really lame phrase on my protest sign...

I didn't pick it well.
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Why is the Stranger Things Christmas special going to be lame?

Noel
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"Yo Momma" jokes are so lame, old, stupid, and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times..

...Just like yo momma
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Went to a lame party but I at least got a drink right away.

No Punchline.
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A woman is fed up with receiving lame birthday presents from her husband...

So, two weeks before her birthday, she tells her husband "You always get me the worst presents when my birthday rolls around. Well, this year had better be different. When I wake up in two weeks, there had better be something in the driveway that will go from O to 200 in less than 60 seconds!"
...
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The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.

Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.
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My black friends really enjoy hearing my lame jokes.

It's almost like they've never been told dad jokes before...
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People made fun of how lame it was when the aliens in 'war of the worlds' died from a plague

well look who's laughing now
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Jack: Seriously Edith, your excuses are lame. It's clear that you are only trying to make people think you are special.

Edit: That's stupid, Jack. I removed the H from my name coz it saves ink in my printer.
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My lame brother and his friends dressed up as european sausages tonight!

He's the wurst.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Englishmen spot a Welshman alone in a pub...

They say to each other "I'm bored, let's pick a fight with him."
The first Englishman walks up to him and says "St. David wore frilly pink knickers."
"Interesting, I didn't know that," said the unfazed Welshman.
Flustered by his failed attempt at angering the Welshman, the first Engli...

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