Roses are red, reposting is lame,

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A lame joke I made up based on an existing joke. Sorry if it's bad.

One day Sean joined a quiz team.

He and his teammates studied really hard for a quiz competition.

On the night of the quiz competition, in the last round, Sean and his team was 1 point behind first place.

However, they had one more question that if answered correctly, would awar...

Kind of lame jokes I make up for myself after reading the dictionary.

Someone asked was I being sesquipedalianist just to make a joke on reddit! Which I repudiate!

I finally have to admit that my hip-hop is weak and my rhymes are lame...

...so I am forced to hand in my too wack notice.

Pretty lame I guess depends on how many of you get it.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Door mum

Door mum who?

I've come to bargain

When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time, but she didn’t laugh at any of them. Nevertheless I’ve persisted with telling the same lame Dad jokes during the births of each of our kids. Today she’s in labor with our fourth and I’ve finally got her laughing...

...I think I’ve really improved the delivery!

(True Story: Today is baby number four, and this is basically the same lame joke I told/posted when our last child was born. Dad jokes 4TW!)

One of the only jokes I know

What a cute bunch of cows!

It's not a bunch, it's a herd

Heard of what?

Herd of cows

Well, duh, of course I've heard of cows!

No, a cow herd

What do I care what a cow heard?





Sorry if it's lame

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A hunchback and his lame buddy are drinking in a bar...

A hunchback and his lame buddy are drinking in a bar. It's getting close to midnight and the hunchback says he needs to get home to the wife. He finishes his drink and says goodnight to his mate.

Realizing the wife will cuss him out for coming home drunk and late he decides to take a shortc...

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I was going to make a joke about sculptures and breasts, but it I thought it would be lame...

Wooden tit?

A lame German joke in translation

At the doctors office:


Did you take my advice and sleep with the window open?


Yes, I did.


So, did the cough disappear?


The only thing that's disappeared is my laptop and my smartphone.

I am 70% lame, 50% ugly

and the remaining % good in maths

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Man buys a parrot after his wife leaves him

A man's wife leaves him and he is lonely so he decides to go to a pet shop to alleviate his depravity.

He walks into the pet shop and one of the first things he notices is a parrot perched in a cage.

The parrot immediately starts talking "You're wonderful I love you your the greatest I...

Military puns are pretty lame.

Generally speaking.

How does life feel for somebody who is short and crippled?

A little lame.

What happens when corn traders in the commodity market indulge in greedy but lame practices to profit?

Corny capitalism

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A Lame Date

A girl turned up on a blind date only to find that the guy had no arms or legs. Apparently he was a military vet who lost his limbs in action in some war.



Still not wanting to be policitally incorrect, she decided that its just dinner and it couldn't hurt.



Much to her s...

I don’t know if Facebook has ever caused the lame to walk

but it has certainly caused the dumb to speak

Jack: Seriously Edith, your excuses are lame. It's clear that you are only trying to make people think you are special.

Edit: That's stupid, Jack. I removed the H from my name coz it saves ink in my printer.

"Yo Momma" jokes are so lame, old, stupid, and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times..

...Just like yo momma

The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.

Its soda pressing.



(tch tch, that was lame)

Favorite lame chemistry joke

Argon walks into a bar, bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve noble gasses here".

Argon didn't react

Here's some Lame Game Dev Humour:

So, I used to work at a studio - doesn't really matter where - and there was this one guy who'd always be around. Just around. I didn't want to seem impolite so I never asked what he did. I kept my head down and did my thing, you know. I mostly forgot about him, except for when I'd be working late a...

What do you call a lame Greek pun?

An Artemiss.

Girls on dating apps get bombarded with too many lame and boring messages

For them, finding the good ones is like finding a needle in a hey-stack.

Hey Reddit, what are your favorite lame jokes?

"Wanna hear a pizza joke?"

"Nevermind, it's too cheesy."

My favorite lame joke

And God said unto John: Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life.
But john came fifth, and won a toaster.


I know, it's stupid and overused, but it's my favorite...

In honor of Trump's last night as president, tonight I'll be making...

Lame Duck A L'Orange, and for dessert, ImPEACHment Cobbler.

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A man wins the lottery

He goes to the bank to open a bank account so he can keep his money safe. He sees this lovely cashier lady, approaches her and says: "I fucking want to open a shitty account in this lame ass bank."

Cashier lady resents that and pretends that she didn't understand what he was saying and asks h...

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In the middle of the desert, an Arab's camel lamed.

Fortunately he quickly found a garage to fix it. They slowly led the camel over a pit, whacked its balls with a pair of bricks and like a rocket it ran off into the desert.

"Great work", the Arab said, "but how am I supposed to get to my camel now?"

"Slowly walk over the pit..."

Pikachu evolves into Raichu, what does a lame joke evolves into?

Gotchu!

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So, I've been trying to stop cursing.

It's not going very fucking well.



(sorry if it's a bit lame it's my first time)

My friends say my geology jokes are lame

but I think they rock.

Drummers always have such lame jokes...

I've heard them all like a Zildjian times.

My dad's lame holiday joke

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas. Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the...

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Limerick about Teddy

Lame is a senator who jets off
While constituents are freezing their butts off
Cancun might be warm
But the political storm
Will deservedly rattle his nuts off

Why is the Stranger Things Christmas special going to be lame?

Noel

A woman is fed up with receiving lame birthday presents from her husband...

So, two weeks before her birthday, she tells her husband "You always get me the worst presents when my birthday rolls around. Well, this year had better be different. When I wake up in two weeks, there had better be something in the driveway that will go from O to 200 in less than 60 seconds!"
...

My dad told a lame joke today

I told him to stop because he never makes funny jokes.
His replay was - I made you didn't I?

I went to a lame reggae concert once

It was dreadful

Lame search

Guy dies of heart attack and goes straight to the line that leads to the gates of heaven. When in there, the guy immediately behind him asks him: hey, what did you die of? He says: oh, I got earlier from work at home, saw some man’s clothes in my house, thought my wife was cheating on me and started...

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What's the difference between becoming a famous stand-up comedian by your own devices vs stealing your jokes?

One is luck n' fame, the other is fuckin' lame.

I had a really lame phrase on my protest sign...

I didn't pick it well.

Which sport is more lame: frisbee, or curling?

Discus

I thought my golf joke was pretty lame,

but everyone kept assuring me that it was subpar.

Good kid joke. Lame adult joke.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Salad.
Salad who?
It's the salad! Lettuce in!

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What is having sex after twisting an ankle called?

Fucking lame

I believe we should take care of our world leaders. They should not be lame, sick, or unsightly. With that in mind, I went to Russia to see if I could help but they turned me away.

No Putin tended.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven ate Nine. Lame, right? I made up some more!

Why did Two pay more for socks?
Because it was a three-for-five deal!

Why did Four get jealous of Five?
Because Five had six with Seven!
(And I heard that Seven ate Nine out)

Why did Negative One share its cash prize with Zero after they tied for first place in the race?
B...

Why is North Korea so lame?

It's got no Seoul.

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Why did the limp Donkey cross the road ?..ahh forget it

.. sorry for such a lame ass joke.

Sean Connery (lame but i love it)

Connery gets a phone call one day from his agent, who says "look, there's a new blockbuster starts filming next week, it's gonna be a million dollars for a ten second cameo, you in?" Connery says "yesh, yesh, im interested. The agent says "thing is we need you in L.A first thing in morning, can you ...

Lame joke I made one night. What do you get when you mix a cat and a blender?

A visit from the cops.

My lame brother and his friends dressed up as european sausages tonight!

He's the wurst.

I've decided not to tell you a joke about Donald Trump being a duck

It's too lame.

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.

This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.


<...

Trump is changing his name and moving to China!

He now goes by Lame Duk Don

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The Four Balconies- NSFW

There was an apt building with 4 balconies. On the bottom one there was a guy that loved to eat pickles every day out there. On the balcony above him was an eccentric painter that was obsessed with the color green and if anything, even a leaf flew by, he'd grab it and paint it green. On the 3rd balc...

(Warning:lame music joke. I just came back from a classicical music concert) Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the oboe solo.

I wish I could be ugly for one day

Cause being ugly every day is kinda lame

My black friends really enjoy hearing my lame jokes.

It's almost like they've never been told dad jokes before...

Lame joke of the day.

Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game?

He had tripped a fan.

What do you call someone who tells too many lame dinosaur jokes?

I dino-bore! .

I'm sorry.

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