Did you know that 97% of the world is stupid?

Luckily im in the other 5%

Why are Americans so stupid?

Because they shoot all the ones that go to school

The teacher said to his class one day, "Please stand up, anyone who thinks they're stupid."

Nobody stood up so the teacher said, "I'm sure there are some stupid students in this class!"

At this point Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Oh Johnny! So you think you're stupid then?"

Little Johnny replied, "No, I just felt bad that you were standing up on your own."

50000 blondes met in a center for the first ever "Blondes are not stupid" convention

Their leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eightee...

Can we ban "Yo Momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid, and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times

Just like yo mama

The taxi drivers in my town are kinda loopy and a little stupid.

I mean they always recommend I take an Uber next time!? They're always forgetting basic skills like the English alphabet so I have to spell it out for 'em, I've had to show them how to use their inhalers several times and without fail they're always asking if I know why they pulled me over.

A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her daughter walks in. The daughter asks, “Mom, why do people think we blondes are stupid?”

Her mother replies, “I’ll show you”, and taps hard on the kitchen counter.

Somewhat confused, the daughter says, “Someone’s at the door!”.

The mother laughs. “This is why people think we’re stupid. Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door.”

Ask me a questions and once I've responded, edit that question to a new one to make me look stupid.

I'm having a rough day and I think this could be a fun way to change that!

If you vaccinate your children, you're stupid.

Let a doctor do it, hes a professional.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a guy named Nobody, a guy named Mark and a girl named Stupid.

Stupid and Mark were dating. Nobody fell from the window while cleaning it so Mark called 911 and said: "Nobody fell out of the window!".

Operator: "Are you fucking Stupid?".

Mark: "No I fucked her yesterday".

I got my tattoo artist to write “Tattoo artists are stupid” on my back.

I thought I got him pretty good until I realized the joke was on me.

I can't stand idiots that don't know the difference between to and too.

There so stupid.

98% percent of the population is stupid.

Luckily I’m part of the 3%.

What's a stupid embryo?

A common misconception

My wife: Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?

Me: That’s .....a novel idea.

I'm really starting to hate these stupid Russian dolls

They're so full of themselves

Tony tells his friend Jimmy: "My son is stupid."

Jimmy doesn't believe him. So they go to Tony's house and enter his son's room. Tony tells him: "In my left hand I have a $2 bill. In my right hand I have a $20 bill. Pick one and it's yours." The son picks the $2 bill and goes outside, leaving Jimmy dumbfounded.

15 minutes later Jimmy finds...

I told my friend that people on reddit were stupid...

That they spend hours of their precious lives arguing with people they will never meet and getting all emotional about stuff that can't be fixed on the internet, and which changes absolutely nothing.

He said, and you know this how...?

Why are the bakers kids stupid?

Because they are in bread!

Three men suddenly become aware they are in the set up to a joke. The first man says something clever. The second does something stupid. The third tries to kill Batman.

I guess we know who the real joker is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday my wife said I must really be fucking stupid for coming home so late

Hey, it's not my fault her sister's an idiot.

I know how to deal with all of the stupid antivax people!

Push them off the edge of the earth!

I asked my husband if I looked fat

His answer was, “Do I look stupid?”

Flies are incredibly stupid

Like, you'd swear that they're all a bunch of flea-tards

The only woman I ever loved, before she left, told me that I'm fat, ugly, and stupid.

Jokes on her though. I could always lose weight, get plastic surgery, and read a book.

Even after she gets back from rehab, she'll still always be MY mom.

Three guys were talking whose wife is stupid.

The first one said:"My wife bought more toaster, but we don't even have thelectricity at home."


The second one said: "My wife bought a washing machine, but we don't have water nor electricity at home."


The third one said: "Mine is even worse. A few days ago, she went out with h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex called me angrily and said, “Are you fucking stupid?”

I said, “No. I used to, but we broke up, remember?”

I think the Area 51 raid is just stupid.

How do we not know the government won't just relocate them aliens before the 20th?

I don't know how anyone can take Putin critics seriously, with how stupid they are.

Keep in mind that these are the same people who habitually trip and fall backwards onto bullets and lock themselves in suitcases.

My wife though I was stupid for saying that I could drive a car made from macaroni...

You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.

Yo Mamma so stupid...

she played Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic.

I remember studying Pavlov in school and thinking, "Those stupid dogs."

and then the bell went and we all had lunch

The frustrated boss asked his employee, "Are you stupid or just apathetic‽"

He replied, "I don't know, and I don't care!"

I heard that 99.9% of Reddit users are actually stupid

Thank God I’m the 1% that isn’t

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave was thinking about men and woman and had an Epiphany.

He ran downstairs to tell his wife.

“Hey honey, I think I have figured out the difference between men and women!” Dave said.

“Oh?...” she replied with a concerned inquisition.

“Yeah see, it’s like wisdom vs intelligence. Guys, we’re pretty dumb, but we know how to handle tough s...

I just made this up!

What did the high sandwich say when it came out of the oven?





Im baaaaked





This was stupid, bye.

People who talk to their dogs are just plain stupid...

Saw a couple today talking to their husky. Intelligent dog, don't get me wrong, but do they seriously think he understands everything he is told? I came home and told my cat all about it, we laughed our asses off!

People have called me stupid, well jokes on them....

I don't even know what that means

A friend told me that there are no stupid questions.

I told him to AskReddit

Stupid Autocorrect...

Always making me write things I didn't Nintendo!

"You're so childish!" screamed the wife. "Why do you always have to use that stupid walkie talkie with your stupid friends?! This is ridiculous, this relationship is over!"

"This relationship is what? Over!"

I think I am poor, stupid and ugly.

At least my judgement is sound.

What do you call a stupid vampire?

Can’t count Dracula

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days ...

People think that I'm stupid because I ask them for money in exchange of politically incorrect opinions.

Well, I beg to differ.

Regular back: boring, stupid, will hurt eventually

Backstreet's back: alright

I thought someone stole my car keys, I looked for hours and was convince someone had grabbed them, later on I felt so stupid because I left them on top of my car

Turns out I lost them on my own accord

What do you do if you're too stupid for the Army?

Join the special forces.

My wife said to me that if i got another stupid gift this Christmas , she would burn it

So, i bought her a candle

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure memes are stupid

I just can't Stand them.

Scientists have developed a vaccine against stupidity.

But anti-vaxxers won't get it.

I was watching Jurassic park the other day.....

.... when I thought "not only does my son have a really stupid name, he´s also a terrible driver"

The Klu Klux Klan is so stupid

They can't even spell clan right

My stepdad told me it was pointless to apply to med-school because I was “too stupid to be a doctor”

8 years later and one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.

Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

The fat one brought cereal.

Yo mama so stupid she heard about a school shooting and thought it was picture day

Zing?

Yo momma is so stupid...

... she single-handedly became a threat to literally millions of people by deciding not to vaccinate you or your siblings.

"Yo mama so stupid that she was yelling into a mailbox"

We ask her what's she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Stupid frog

This woman goes to a pet store to purchase some dog food. She puts the bag of food up on the counter and notices a box full of frogs. She reads the sign on the box...and it says...."Snatch Eating Frogs..$20 each (comes with instructions)" She looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whisper...

It's stupid when girls say they can't find a guy, yet they ignore me.

It's like saying you're hungry when there's a hotdog on the ground outside.

Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid.

The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

Got my wife with the greatest dadjoke yet

She was talking about something and I got the rare chance to interrupt her by saying "Hi leaving and taking the kids due to these stupid jokes, I'm dad!"

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