Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I am thankful every day that I live in Canada.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex called me angrily last night and said, “Are you fucking stupid?”

I said, “No. We broke up, remember?”

Stupid Overcomplicated euphemism jokes

1.

I’m a transaction manager for a multibillion dollar corporation

I work as a McDonald’s cashier

2.

“Mom there is a burglar in here”

“No kid I’m just an asset reallocation specialist”

3.

“So what do you do for a living?”

“I travel and driv...

Stupid joke in description, too short to split into title and desc

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

Nobody and Stupid

There was a man named Nobody and a woman named Stupid. One day nobody fell out of a window and Stupid called an ambulance.


"Help! Nobody has fallen out of a window.",cried Stupid to the operator.
"Excuse me?", replied the confused operator.
"I said Nobody is severely hurt!" ...

A new survey shows that 97% of the world is certified stupid.

Luckily I'm in the other 5%.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beating Cancer’s Stupid Ass

Who is Alex Trebek?

I made a stupid joke about coronavirus

I hope it goes viral.

80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady who is cheating on her husband

There's a lady who is cheating on her husband. One day while they are having sex she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder al...

There’s a fine line between poverty and stupidity

And Trump wants to build a wall on it

The difference between stupidity and genius is that

genius has its limits.

Why are Americans so stupid?

Because they shoot all the ones that go to school

My girlfriend said that if I bought her one more stupid gift she would burn it,

So I bought her a Candle

I'm never giving blood again. They asked too many stupid questions

I'm never giving blood again. They asked too many stupid questions.

How old are you?
Can we see your ID?
Whose blood is it and why is it in a pail?

Yo mama so stupid.

She tried to kill herself by sitting in the garage with an electric car.

Some people are so stupid

They don’t even know cloaking abilities when they see them! *cheesy I know*

Honestly I think English is a bloody stupid language

but it's what it's I guess

My wife said that I was stupid, and had no sense of direction

I was so insulted that I packed my stuff and right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

Can we ban "Yo Momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid, and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times

Just like yo momma.

professor: remember, there are no stupid questions-

**me:** *[raising hand]* if 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does the fifth one enjoy it?

**professor:** okay there is one stupid question.

New year in a few hours. Now finally we won't have these stupid 20/20 vision jokes anymore...

But hey! I can't say for sure, I don't have 2020 vision!



Edit: Happy New Year Reddit

A stupid knight won a jousting tournament.

While awarding his prize, the king had to ask, "How does such a dumb man win a contest like this one?"

The squire answered, "All the points just go over his head."

HUSBAND: (watching a video) Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes! No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!

WIFE: Honey, why you so mad? What are you watching?

HUSBAND: Our wedding ceremony.

Yo Mama so stupid

When someone said "Disney" she said "No, dat knee"

I hate people who constantly yell at me for stupid reasons.

Like: "Billy, you're so stupid."

"Billy, why do you always mess up?"

"Billy, where's our son?"

Such stupid reasons...

What do you call a stupid element?

A boron

It's kind of stupid, we're trying to turn plants into burgers.

Haven't cows being doing that for like, forever.

I smell so stupid right now.

I should’ve worn my Degree.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That's how the fight got started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I ...

Wrestling is stupid.

Men without pants fight for a belt.

I’m getting sick of all these stupid Republican jokes.

All 195 of them.

What do you tell Drake if he says something stupid?

Ok groomer

Everytime I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like

He wants a refund.

Stupid kid

A barber was doing his business and a kid walked in his shop.
The barber told his customer:
- See that kid, he's the stupidest kid I've ever know. Here I'll prove it to you.
The barber yells at kid to come to him so his customer can watch.
The barber pulls out a 2 euro coin and a 5 euro ...

I hate how politically correct things are these days. You can't even say the word stupid without people getting offended.

I started to tell a Polish joke to a group of guys and one of them said "Hey, I'm Polish and that joke offends me!" Fair enough I thought, no one likes to be stereotyped. So I swapped out the word "Polish" for "stupid" and started the joke over. Same guy got offended.

Why are most of the reddit jokes nowadays in the form of stupid questions with even stupider punchlines?

Because Engineers have nothing better to do.

-Engineering Student

I apologize for offending you when I called you stupid.

I thought you already knew.

If you vaccinate your children, you're stupid.

Let a doctor do it, hes a professional.

The fear of ledges is stupid

Just get over it

99% of the population is stupid

Luckily, I’m part of the 3%

The word ‘Diputseromneve’ may look ridiculous,

But backwards it’s even more stupid.

I got my tattoo artist to write “Tattoo artists are stupid” on my back.

I thought I got him pretty good until I realized the joke was on me.

A husband and wife visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone.

The counselor asks her, “You say you’ve been married 20 years. So what seems to be the problem?”

“The wife replies, “It’s my husband. He’s driving me crazy! I’m going to leave him if he continues!”
“How does he drive you crazy?”
“For 20 years,” she says, “he’s been doing these stupid th...

Gotta hand it to stupid people

because most of the time it goes over their head

Yo' mama is so stupid...

She thinks Salmonella is a Disney fish princess

A man got mocked and bullied all of his life because he had a girl’s name.

He got married and was so happy that someone treated him normally.

His wife had a baby girl, who she named Love, in honor of their love and his unique name.

She was also mocked and bullied at school.

One day she couldn’t take it anymore. Love shot her dad in the chest and scre...

An old woman was sitting next to her fire one day when suddenly a spark jumped out and turned into a fairy.

The fairy told the old woman she could have three wishes.

The old woman thinks for a while and then asks for the following:

1) she wants 10 million dollars

2) she wants to be 18 years old again

3) she wants her faithful tomcat, Tiger, to be turned into a healthy 19 year o...

Yo mamma so stupid

She thought consumerism was the political force driving people to eat more.

My step-dad told me it was pointless to apply to med school because "I was too stupid to be a doctor"

8 years later one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.

Ask me a questions and once I've responded, edit that question to a new one to make me look stupid.

I'm having a rough day and I think this could be a fun way to change that!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a guy named Nobody, a guy named Mark and a girl named Stupid.

Stupid and Mark were dating. Nobody fell from the window while cleaning it so Mark called 911 and said: "Nobody fell out of the window!".

Operator: "Are you fucking Stupid?".

Mark: "No I fucked her yesterday".

Yo mamma is so stupid...

If a zombie walked up to eat her brain, it'd just keep on walking.

A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her daughter walks in. The daughter asks, “Mom, why do people think we blondes are stupid?”

Her mother replies, “I’ll show you”, and taps hard on the kitchen counter.

Somewhat confused, the daughter says, “Someone’s at the door!”.

The mother laughs. “This is why people think we’re stupid. Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door.”

A blonde woman decides that she is tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are seen as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive and strong smell of paint. He walks in...

I can describe stupidity with one letter

me

The taxi drivers in my town are kinda loopy and a little stupid.

I mean they always recommend I take an Uber next time!? They're always forgetting basic skills like the English alphabet so I have to spell it out for 'em, I've had to show them how to use their inhalers several times and without fail they're always asking if I know why they pulled me over.

Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail?

Because he was in a cent.

I know it’s stupid but c’mon

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a sin...

I had what I thought was a stupid look on my face so I held the look and peeked in the mirror.

Turns out I'm not as stupid as I looked.

I'm really starting to hate these stupid Russian dolls

They're so full of themselves

Sleeping with the minister's wife.

Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm sleeping with the minister's wife."


"Can you hold him in church for an hour after services for me?"


The friend doesn't like it but being a friend, he agrees.


After services, he starts talking to the Reverend, asking h...

What do you call a stupid person who steals money?

An imbezzle

I hate it when people come and bang on your door spouting nonsense like, "You need to be saved or you'll burn!"

Stupid firemen...

A bad workman always blames his fools

\*tools

(stupid keyboard)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't have sex with a blonde.

That would be fucking stupid.

Once there was a stupidly large family...

Once there was a stupidly large family with 100 children, all named “One, Two, Three,” and so on.

The child named Ninety grew up to be a strict person with an average job and life. She got married and had 3 children, all of which were mischevious and often got into trouble. They became very c...

Remember before the internet when it was thought collective stupidity was due to a lack of information?

Well, it wasn’t that.

Everything you need to know about Australia

I REALLY hope these are true


These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for stupid questions!)


\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Onion-Flavored Ice Cream

One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter "Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?"

The guy says, "No, we don't have onion-flavored ice cream."
So the kid says, "Ok" and leaves.

The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question...

Hameed the good lad

Once upon a time, a small boy named Hameed lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!" One day, his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told h...

I heard that 99.9% of Reddit users are actually stupid

Thank God I’m the 1% that isn’t

So sick of the guy in my bathroom

Stupid fvck just stands behind the sink and mocks me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Irishmen, Mick, Sean and Paddy.

Mick: "Women are so stupid, my wife has just bought a car and she can't even drive!"

Sean: "That's nothing, my wife's on a diet and she's not even fat"

Paddy: "That's fuck all, my wife's taken 30 condoms to Benidorm for a singles holiday and she hasn't even got a cock!"

My wife: Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?

Me: That’s .....a novel idea.

Farmer

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks him, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?”

Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.

Man: So what happened that’s so horrible?

Farmer: Well, today I was sitting b...

I told my friend that people on reddit were stupid...

That they spend hours of their precious lives arguing with people they will never meet and getting all emotional about stuff that can't be fixed on the internet, and which changes absolutely nothing.

He said, and you know this how...?

I made a chicken salad this morning

Stupid thing won't even eat it.

What's a stupid embryo?

A common misconception

Tony tells his friend Jimmy: "My son is stupid."

Jimmy doesn't believe him. So they go to Tony's house and enter his son's room. Tony tells him: "In my left hand I have a $2 bill. In my right hand I have a $20 bill. Pick one and it's yours." The son picks the $2 bill and goes outside, leaving Jimmy dumbfounded.

15 minutes later Jimmy finds...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple were going out for the evening

A couple were going out for the evening They'd gotten ready, all dolled up. They dog had to be put outside since they didn't like leaving him alone inside. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out...

I think the Area 51 raid is just stupid.

How do we not know the government won't just relocate them aliens before the 20th?

Three men suddenly become aware they are in the set up to a joke. The first man says something clever. The second does something stupid. The third tries to kill Batman.

I guess we know who the real joker is...

A Blonde working in an office...

she glanced out the window and noticed a car , towing a small rowboat parking beside an empty field. She thought nothing of it and continued to work.

She looked out again towards the field and seen a blonde woman getting out of the car, removing the boat and dragging it into the field. "What ...

My psychiatrist told me I have multiple personality disorder

We think that’s stupid

Why are the bakers kids stupid?

Because they are in bread!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got a new jpb

After landing my new job as a Walmart “Greeter - a good find for many retirees. I lasted less than a day . About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. ...

A man with a new sports car was speeding down an empty road late at night.

Suddenly he heard sirens behind him. He looked in his rearview mirror to see the flashing lights of a police car. The man thought to himself “I can outrun this guy.” And stepped on the accelerator. He kept accelerating. 90 miles an hour. 100. 110. 120.

After a few minutes he realized how stup...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday my wife said I must really be fucking stupid for coming home so late

Hey, it's not my fault her sister's an idiot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You have 10 birds in the tree if one gets shot how many left?

Here the programmer version


You have 10 birds in a tree. You shot one. How many are left?

There is a programmer version for this question:

One day, when the teacher wanted to test the students' IQ in class, he asked a boy, "There are 10 birds in a tree. You shot one. How man...

"You're so childish!" screamed the wife. "Why do you always have to use that stupid walkie talkie with your stupid friends?! This is ridiculous, this relationship is over!"

"This relationship is what? Over!"

A mobster kidnaps a biologist, an electrical engineer, and a physicist

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little old lady walked into the Bank of Canada

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because "it’s a lot of money." After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office. The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Melania and the Donald have in common?

They're both fucking stupid.

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