So you know how Gandhi walked a lot around India until he was an old, feeble man? I hear he also had really bad breath...

He was a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

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A guy was driving down a long stretch of country highway, when he approached a fruit stand.

The sign above read, "We have
peaches that taste like anything
and everything, guaranteed!"
The man thought about it, and
decided to stop.
He thought this has to be
bullshit. So he approaches the
old, feeble man behind the
stand and says, "So, you have
peaches that taste l...

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A man was on a ship that sunk, and after floating for days he washed up on a deserted island....

He was stranded for many years on this island, but fortunately food was easy to come by. Fruits and vegetables grew abundantly all over the island, and the fish were so easy to catch it was almost like they *wanted* to be caught. Unfortunately, this meant that he had hours and hours of free time th...

A middle aged bachelor has an obsession with tractors.

His entire house is decorated with them. He has tractor wallpaper, tractor memorabilia, many many model tractors, pictures of tractors, tractor bed sheets, even his car looks like a tractor (not a real tractor due to legal reasons).

As it is, his obsession with tractors had left him awkward, ...

An old man was tired of reading about local muggings of seniors in his neighbourhood. (Long)

Determined to not sit back and see the crime wave continue any longer, he decided to take action.

The old fellow learned that according to victim statements and witnesses, the perpetrator was a fairly large woman who walked up to frail seniors and demanded money under threat.

Knowing...

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A horse, a chicken and a fantastic moral. [long]

There is a horse and a chicken and they are best friends. One day horse and chicken are walking down a trail when horse steps into some very deep mud. Horse struggles to get out but he cannot set himself free and chicken is too small and feeble to free horse as well. As chicken is crying for his fri...

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How many of you forgave your enemies?

During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd:

-"How many of you forgave your enemies?"

Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: "And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?", and almost everyone's hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lad...

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench

, just chatting the day away like old ladies do.

Suddenly, a man in a trench coat walks up to them and flashes them with all the glory god gave him.

Well, the first old lady had a stroke right away.

The second old lady had a stroke soon after.

The third old lady, being mo...

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There's a faint knock on the lawyer's door.

He says, "Come in!" He hears a feeble fumbling at the doorknob. Curious, he goes to the door and opens it and finds a very, very elderly couple.

He immediately rushes to put two chairs in front of his desk, then rushes back to the door to help the couple hobble over to those chairs, and then ...

I got the last two loaves of bread at the store. This old lady was behind me and she saw.

She looked weak and feeble so I reached into her trolly and took her milk and tissue.

A Jewish man calls his mother...

And asks, "Hi Mom! How are you?"

Not so good...not so good." Comes the feeble reply.

"Why, are you sick?

"No...I'm healthy."

"Have you been sleeping alright?"

"Yes...I get a full 8 hours." she answers.

"Have you eaten yet today?"

"Well, no...Actua...

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed.

The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the esca...

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A ninety-year-old woman in a nursing home...

She wandered around the halls of her nursing home, barged into a room, lifted her gown and yelled, “Super Pussy!” She left the room and walked into the next and again yelled, “Super Pussy!” She continued down the hall barging into each room shouting, “Super Pussy!”

When she got to the last ro...

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One day a business man notices a little shop and decides he’ll check it out.

Where stands an old man. Before the business man could introduce himself. The old man, thinking that he is the town’s famed storyteller, began his great legend.

He started,”Do ye feel the sturdiness of this here frame? I built it with mine own two hands. But they don’t call me Poltroon the bu...

New husband and wife

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.

But lo and behold, the next morning,...

A swindler Passes by a bird in the stairwell of an appartment building

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

Four across...

Two men are sat completing a crossword puzzle on a train, sat across from them is a Priest. The first man starts to scratch his head, and he asks the man across from him:

"A word, four across, ending with unt..."

The other man asks him:

"Well, what's the clue?"

He replie...

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My best joke.

Moses, Jesus, and a very old man are starting their day of golf at the first tee off.
Moses steps up to the tee, plants his stance, firms up, and smokes a drive that curves right towards a pond. Moses waives his club in the air, the pond immediately parts, the golf ball bounces in and out of the...

The Bell Ringer

A priest stands alone in his church. It is a beautiful old church with a great tall bell tower. Suddenly, the front doors of the church open and a hobbled old man walks in. He is barely able to walk and his back is so hunched he can barely look up at the priest. The old man walks up to the priest an...

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An older man retires, and decides to move to Mexico

because his modest savings will go a lot further there. He tries, but really struggles to learn the language and local customs. Some days he’d sleep until noon and enjoy being retired…but a few days a week he made it a point to wake up early, fry a couple of eggs, and head into town to immerse himse...

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3 Men on a bench

At lunch one day, Tom, Dick and Harry are sitting on a park bench. Suddenly, a man comes up and disrobes in front of them.

Tom was so shocked, he had a stroke.

Dick was equally shocked and HE had a stroke.

Harry, being a little older and a little more feeble than the other two.....

11 Geeky Jokes

1. What does a subatomic duck say “Quark”.

2. Why did I divide Sin by Tan, Just Cos.

3. Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

4. Why can’t you trust atoms, they make up everything.

5. A pen...

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