I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

PMS jokes aren't funny.

Period.

Question: If it's not funny, is it still a joke?

Answer: In the case of Amy Schumer, yes.

You know I always used to think that my girlfriend was just not funny.

That was until I realized that she told me jokes everyday! Like “I love you” or “I never cheated on you”

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My sexy date said she'd be impressed if I did something funny to the local farmer's vehicle.

I did whatever I could to a tractor.

Communist jokes aren't funny

Unless everyone gets them.

My favorite joke for my cake day

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery.

Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.



Which, incidentally, is also why most Afghanistan jokes are falling flat.

But also because everyone knows the Dems are pro-choice, they didn't have to abort a whole country just to prove it.



I think I'm startin...

Funny fact

So there is people that have a fear of long words and it's called
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
And it is also one of the longest words in the dictionary.
Makes me chuckle

COVID jokes aren't funny.

They're just downright tasteless.

Mountains aren't just funny.

They are hill areas.

I figured out why ski resorts are so funny.

They're hillareas

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced...

"BOOM"

I hope that blew your minds.

It would be r/funny if this post blows up.

Wanna hear something really funny?

Comedy

"That's what she said" is not a funny punchline. It's old, pathetic and doesn't work!

*That's what she said.*

Dead funny

Late one night Jack takes a shortcut through the cemetary. Hearing a tapping sound, he becomes scared and quickens his pace. The tapping gets louder and Jack is now scared out of his wits.
Then he notices a man chiseling a tombstone.
"Thank goodness!" Jack says to the man.
"You gave me a ...

What's better than enchiladas?

n+1 chiladas.

(sharing this joke I came up with tonight while making enchiladas, because my family didn't find it funny).

Why do people put "draw me something funny on the inside of the pizza box" in the Other Requests box?

Because they know the pizza place is gonna be filled with art majors anyhow.

I thought it was funny to pay hookers with fake money

I stopped laughing when my mom started complaining about counterfeit bills

A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday.

This joke would be funny if it had a punchline wooden tit?

Any great and funny jokes like this one for my 8 year old granddaughter?

She loves this one:

A guy is sitting in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up and opens the door, no one there. Looks down and sees a snail on the doormat. Being a guy, of course he picks it up and throws it across the street.
Six months later, the guy is in his living room,...

Someone just asked me this and it was just funny.. and corny.

Greg: You know what?
Me: What?


Greg: Adding 15+15 is the same as 16+16.
Me: What? How?


Greg: What is 15+15?

Me: 30


Greg: What is 16+16
Me: Thirty two!


Greg: Yep, it's also 30! See

Jokes about murderers aren’t funny.

Unless they’re executed properly, that is.

I used to make jokes at work during meetings, and I could really get people laughing. Then COVID hit, and all our meetings were online. I'd still make jokes, but no one would laugh...

Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn't find me remotely funny.

A funny story

A man had a bunch of penguins in his truck, when suddenly a police officer came and asked him what was in the truck, the man said "My penguins," The police said to take the penguins to the zoo.

The next day, the police officer came back asking where the penguins were. The man said, "They're...

Me:. Why are you making that funny face? Is it because I farted?

Cowboy:. Yer darn tootin'!

Why are you so funny?

Person 1: Why are you so funny?

Person 2: Well, comedy = tragedy + time...

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I find it funny how...

Bisexual people are playing both sides and still losing.

Funny Quote

Funny Quote
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile.
I tried – but they wanted cash. -

- ..

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Bit of a dad joke but I find it funny

What do plumbers and teachers have in common?


They both gotta deal with little shits all day

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My Jewish friend says this is a non-offensive Holocaust joke

A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said "That's not funny", to which the Jew replied "Oh, I guess you had to be there".

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I have a really funny joke about participation awards

Actually, never mind, you had to be there to get it

The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"

Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.

The day on which the paper announced the contest winner...

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It's funny how Jews, Christians and Muslims have fought each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

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A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.

He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old Jewish driver answered, “Let me ...

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

Her lipstick

What did the communist say when he heard a really funny joke?

"L-*Mao*."

I still find those Downfall parodies funny

I guess you could call that My Struggle

A skeleton lost his funny bone.

It was quite humerus.

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Gay Jokes aren't funny!

Cum on guys!

Funny joke

What does an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both like to go home and pound cold ones.

Computers are not funny

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI

Suicidal jokes are pretty funny,

But it's even funnier when it ends!

Found an Funny Indian Joke and tried to translate it.

An Indian politician was visiting a foreigner politician. He saw foreigner politicians had a big house and 2 luxury cars. He askes him how is it possible as the salary of a politician is not that much. Foreigner politician took Indian politician on drive and said

"do you see this 10 lanes hig...

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Having a bad day and need your spare funny NSFW jokes. Help me Reddi-wan your my only joke!

So this cowboy goes out riding. Gets captured by natives and is told that now is a holy time so he may live in their camp for 3 days while the holy time comes to a close. The cowboy agrees (like he had a choice)

First day he askes his guard if he can go talk to his horse. The guard wants to k...

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a cocktail

The bartender spends a minute measuring and pouring ingredients, and when he’s done he takes a spoon out of his shirt pocket, stirs the drink, and hands it to the guy.

The guy takes a sip and then asks the bartender: “do you always carry a spoon in your shirt pocket?”

The bartender rep...

this is pretty funny

Texan: "Where are you from?"

Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."

Texan: "Okay where are you from, jackass?"

what did the shark said when he ate the clownfish

this tastes a bit funny

Funny Jokes

Manager: What is your qualification?
Pappu: I’m Ph.D.
Manager: What do you mean by Ph.D.?
Pappu: Passed high school with difficulty.

I'm horrible at funerals.

Whenever I'm at funerals for some reason no one ever likes my speeches. You see, when i go up to the podium speak about the deceased, i like to compliment their intelligence. "He knew too much" is what i usually say. Not sure why people give me the funny looks there, and I'm usually kicked out when ...

A joke I've translated from my language that I found pretty funny:

A man is passing through a cemetery at night, as he passes through he sees a woman sitting near a grave.

Worried he goes over and asks why she's sitting next to a grave.

The woman replies: I felt hot inside so I came out.

Confessional box joke, v funny pls do read

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photog...

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An old funny joke about some some crazy bastards

See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum.and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more.

They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretchin...

Funny how things are still tagged NSFW

As if any of us still have jobs

Update: stop bragging about being employed, it's lowering morale /s

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