Did you hear about the 120-year-old textile worker?

He dyed.

Textile Mill Heist

Earlier today police apprehended a criminal who had loaded an industrial-sized loom and 10 cubic meters of wool onto a truck in an attempted robbery of a local textile factory.

Police became suspicious of the truck when they noticed the driver weaving all over the road.

A while ago there was a rebellion in Lapland

A group of three elves were very unhappy with Santa’s treatment of them, and organised an uprising.

Having dealt with the uprising, Santa expelled the three elves from Lapland. He gave each of them a colour to make sure he knew where they were.

The first elf was given the colour yell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An IRS auditor visits a synagogue...

...and requests that the rabbi answer a few questions.

"You guys sure burn a lot of candles here. What do with all the leftover wax?" asks the auditor.

"Well, we try to be environmentally friendly, so we send it back to the candle factory, and they send us back new candles," answers t...

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