This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lawyer : But mickey are you sure you want to get a divorce simply because of your wife's clumsiness.

Mickey : I didn't say she was clumsy doc, I said she was fucking goofy!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a county fair and a clumsy prostitute have in common?

A hoedown

I’m clumsy, so my my job at the tripwire and claymore testing company had a rocky start

But i think i finally found my feet

I found a website for clumsy people.

I stumbled across it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I overlayed some dubstep to my favorite video of a clumsy fisherman

I synced them up to when they drop the bass.

Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave...

Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.

Why do clumsy people get married?

They fall in love.

did you hear about the clumsy musician who tried gardening?

he dropped the beet

Why was the clumsy vegetable farmer a good dj?

Because he dropped the beet.

There are two categories of people in this world, graceful and clumsy...

I always seem to fall into the ladder

Why do clumsy farmers make awesome DJ's?

cause they're always dropping beets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man exclaimed to his drinking buddy, "I have seen the private parts of all the attractive ladies in this bar!"

His buddy then asked in disbelief, "Really? How about that blonde lady, what can you say about hers?"



The man said, "Her left butt cheek has a birth mark shaped like the map of Italy. If you don't believe me, try peeping on her when she'll use the restroom."



So they wai...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother and I were setting up a tent...

Well, he's a bit clumsy, always been. He slipped and fell back on the pile of metal poles. Got himself right in the arse. I had to take him to the hospital and everything.

It wasn't too bad, all in all, but he did have to get a tentanus shot.

I apologize for this terrible pun, but it w...

A penguin is driving through the desert...

and all of a sudden his car breaks down. He takes it to a nearby shop. The penguin leaves the car at the shop and goes to get ice cream. The clumsy little penguin spills ice cream all over himself. Suddenly, he remembers his car at the shop. He quickly runs back without cleaning the ice cream off of...

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on how clumsy you are.

*There, I've killed it. Move on /r/jokes, move on.*

A penguin takes his car to the mechanic....

The mechanic tells him it'll take about an hour to fix. The penguin heads over to the 7-11 across the street to kill some time and have an ice cream. But because he has clumsy little flippers he gets the ice cream all over his beak.
When he goes back to the mechanic, the mechanic tells him, "we...

A monkey sits in a tree when a lizard asks..

..."what are you doing?". "I'm rolling a joint" answered the monkey. "Wanna join?"

The lizard joins but after a while the lizard says "I have a strange feeling in my throat.. Imma go down to the river for some water."

On way to the river the lizard feels he smoked a little too much. A...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

East meets West

A guy pulls up to a bar and walks in to get a drink. Almost immediately, he is accosted by another guy who has obviously had one-to-many.
The drunk demonstrates a clumsy karate chop and says, "That was karate from China." The new arrival just nods noncommittally and attempts to sit at the bar. Un...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The willing farmer girl

On a sunny Saturday afternoon, Jimmy, a young handsome farmer boy in his twenties, goes to the village a few minutes walking from the farm to get a bunch of supplies. He goes to the hardware shop, the DIY and the pet shop, and ends up with a bucket, a big can of red paint, a dozen of eggs, two chick...

Old School Pirate Crime

Captain Normal Beard the up-and-coming pirate captain and his first mate Clumsy Edward were in desperate need of ink in order to make the numerous treasure maps they were sure create during all of their treasure-filled journeys. More than anything they needed red ink for the illustrious X's that wil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor Guiseppe...

A man walks into a department store with his son. He's speaking to his young son with a thick Italian accent, and then suddenly exclaims "Guiseppe, with the BIG FAT HEAD!!" While slapping his son on the back of the head.

Bill, one of the workers there is absolutely shocked, and decides to app...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.