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What do a county fair and a clumsy prostitute have in common?

A hoedown

I’m clumsy, so my my job at the tripwire and claymore testing company had a rocky start

But i think i finally found my feet

I overlayed some dubstep to my favorite video of a clumsy fisherman

I synced them up to when they drop the bass.

I found a website for clumsy people.

I stumbled across it.

Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave...

Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.

Why do clumsy people get married?

They fall in love.

did you hear about the clumsy musician who tried gardening?

he dropped the beet

Why was the clumsy vegetable farmer a good dj?

Because he dropped the beet.

There are two categories of people in this world, graceful and clumsy...

I always seem to fall into the ladder

Why do clumsy farmers make awesome DJ's?

cause they're always dropping beets

What are a clumsy person's favorite flowers?

Oopsie daisies.

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My brother and I were setting up a tent...

Well, he's a bit clumsy, always been. He slipped and fell back on the pile of metal poles. Got himself right in the arse. I had to take him to the hospital and everything.

It wasn't too bad, all in all, but he did have to get a tentanus shot.

I apologize for this terrible pun, but it w...

A penguin is driving through the desert...

and all of a sudden his car breaks down. He takes it to a nearby shop. The penguin leaves the car at the shop and goes to get ice cream. The clumsy little penguin spills ice cream all over himself. Suddenly, he remembers his car at the shop. He quickly runs back without cleaning the ice cream off of...

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on how clumsy you are.

*There, I've killed it. Move on /r/jokes, move on.*

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A man is dating a woman

On the first date, she trips over and bangs her hand on the concrete.

the man says "oh dear, did you hurt your beautiful handy wandy? let me kiss it better"

On the second date, she accidentally stabs herself in the face with a fork.

"Oh noes!" cries the man "your sweet lovely di...

A penguin takes his car to the mechanic....

The mechanic tells him it'll take about an hour to fix. The penguin heads over to the 7-11 across the street to kill some time and have an ice cream. But because he has clumsy little flippers he gets the ice cream all over his beak.
When he goes back to the mechanic, the mechanic tells him, "we...

A monkey sits in a tree when a lizard asks..

..."what are you doing?". "I'm rolling a joint" answered the monkey. "Wanna join?"

The lizard joins but after a while the lizard says "I have a strange feeling in my throat.. Imma go down to the river for some water."

On way to the river the lizard feels he smoked a little too much. A...

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East meets West

A guy pulls up to a bar and walks in to get a drink. Almost immediately, he is accosted by another guy who has obviously had one-to-many.
The drunk demonstrates a clumsy karate chop and says, "That was karate from China." The new arrival just nods noncommittally and attempts to sit at the bar. Un...

Old School Pirate Crime

Captain Normal Beard the up-and-coming pirate captain and his first mate Clumsy Edward were in desperate need of ink in order to make the numerous treasure maps they were sure create during all of their treasure-filled journeys. More than anything they needed red ink for the illustrious X's that wil...

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The willing farmer girl

On a sunny Saturday afternoon, Jimmy, a young handsome farmer boy in his twenties, goes to the village a few minutes walking from the farm to get a bunch of supplies. He goes to the hardware shop, the DIY and the pet shop, and ends up with a bucket, a big can of red paint, a dozen of eggs, two chick...

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Poor Guiseppe...

A man walks into a department store with his son. He's speaking to his young son with a thick Italian accent, and then suddenly exclaims "Guiseppe, with the BIG FAT HEAD!!" While slapping his son on the back of the head.

Bill, one of the workers there is absolutely shocked, and decides to app...

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