Job Application Jokes

Interviewer: Okay before we move forward with your application. We're just gonna ask you a few simple questions.

Blonde: Okay no problem fire away!

Interviewer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Oh that's easy! 4!

Interviewer: Very good! And what's the square root of 100?

Blonde... read more

When he came to the question, 'Have you ever been arrested?'
He answered, 'No.'
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was 'Why?'
The applicant answered it anyway:
'Never got caught'

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment.
Not sure if they hired him....

NAME - Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here i... read more

She went into a haunted house and came out with a job application

I keep getting my wires crossed, but I'm doing asbestos I can.

...and if you don’t get hired, just blame it on your color.

*"Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you are doing."*

Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

There once was a job application form that said: “help wanted! Looking for people that are bilingual, able to make a computer program and able to make a robot!”, which a street dog was staring at, and it entered the building. The dog then enters the interviewing room and sits on the chair. The inter... read more

A CW.

...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batma... read more

Turns out during job interviews, no one is impressed that you pledged ligma sugma boffa.

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Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of ...

===============================================... read more

I was going through a stack of job applications on my desk when one caught my attention. While the applicant’s employment history was stellar, and her education history was certainly above average, apparently she had a few personal problems. Under “Marital Status” she’d written, “Not good” and under... read more

Probably because I described myself as "a touchy-feely kind of guy"

When the employer asks me why I just say “Well because it’s kind of hard”

I just didn't make the cut.

The first thing the boss does is close his eyes, pick out 5 at random, and throw them in the trash. Puzzled, the secretary asks "why did you do that?"

The boss responds, "I dont want to hire an unlucky person"

After all, I can’t have unlucky people working for me.

A job application.

A nun was fired from her job in heaven, so she came down to earth and started looking for a job. One night, when she is filling out a job application, there is a question that asks her to check the boxes next to the jobs that she has previously worked at. She looks at the answers for a second, and t... read more

He asked the owner for a job application. The owner asked. “Do you have any experience as a bartender?” The Ex-con replied, “Not exactly, but I’ve spent my whole life behind bars.”

You'll be able to trade them in for a alarm clock and job application.

The boss asked his secretary to bring in all the job applications for the open position. She walked into his office and put a big stack of papers in front of him on his desk.

He picked up the stack, turned it face down and started randomly flipping through them, pulling out the ones he sto... read more

He asks the Maître D for a job application. She asks him, "What is your name, and what makes you think you're qualified to be a male escort?"
The man responds, "I'm Hung, and I'm hung."