A school bus full of Catholic girls get in a terrible accident
Nobody survives. All the girls find themselves standing in line at The Pearly Gates. At the front of the line is the angel Gabriel, next to him is a bowl of holy water.
He asks the first girl, "Lucy, have you ever touched a penis before?" Lucy responds, "Well... just once. Billy showed me hi...
The husband gets a love bite on his neck from his secretary
He goes home quite worried, but suddenly gets a brainwave! Upon reaching his house, he allows his pet dog to jump on him and shouts:
"Honey, our dog bit my neck!"
The wife removes her bra and says:
"See what he did to me!"
Marriage counselor: Your partner allows you to make independent decisions? Me: *looks at wife*
Me: Yes, of course
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Two women are playing golf...
The first woman teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed towards a group of men.
It hit one of the men and he immediately doubled over in pain clutching his groin. The women rushed over and began apologizing vehemently.
The man said, still in pain, said it was ok and told th...
- Hello. I want to return the robot vacuum cleaner I bought from you a week ago. The agreement allows it?
\- Yes, just tell me what you didn't like, we will inform the manufacturer.
\- Everything is in order, I just no longer need a vacuum cleaner. After he sucked the cat three times, My cat learned to use a brush, rag, scoop, and report a full bin.
Two guys decide that they'd go out drinking on the night before their exam.
Wasted on the night before, the two arrive at the university well after the exam ended. They went straight to the professor, saying that they couldn't take the test because one of the car's tires had gone flat. Surprisingly, the professor allows them and promptly tells them to come back tomorrow. ...
There's a new store where I live that only allows Republicans to shop there.
They say the customer is always right
A man got arrested for having drugs in his pocket.
"Officer," he said, "I can explain."
-How? -the officer replied.
"Every time I throw those drugs in the toilet, they magicaly reappear in my pocket."
-Don't lie to me. -says the officer.
"Let me show you then."
So the officer allows him to show it. A man takes out ...
What types of jokes are allows during the quarantine?