A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a represe...
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Where do Italians watch food programs?
On the tagliatelle!
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Why did Trump take documents about classified nuclear programs to Mar-a-Lago?
He was just Putin them somewhere safe.
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A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.
Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters
Wife: Apps
Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters
Wife: Teen
Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters
Wife: Didn't
Husband: Take a life, 4 letters
Wife: Kill
Husband: Religious songs, 5 l...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
New Weight Loss Program! [somewhat NSFW]
A very overweight and rich fellow saw an advertisement for a weight loss program. He calls the number. "Hello, would you like to lose some weight?" he hears from the other end of the phone.
"Yes!" the man replies.
"Excellent! I must warn you, our programs are very expensive, but th...
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TIL Reddit has one of the most effective carbon offset programs of any website
Which is unsurprising considering /r/jokes consistently achieves a 100% recycle rate.
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How do Jedi close programs
force quit
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I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs
I mean most of our computers are labelled "Intel"
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I used to date computer programs but that's over now
My girlfriend still worries that I may go back but I reply to her "they're just exes "
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I applied for one of them online "get rich quick" programs once
they sent me a gun and a list of the closest banks.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Weight loss program
This fat man was disappointed in his body. We was watching TV and saw this weight loss program and decided to join. There was 2 programs, average and advanced, and decided to start average.
The next day, the doorbell rang. When he opened the door, there was a beautiful lady. She was nude, and...
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Did you hear about the programmer who got sent to prison for using the wrong types in his C programs?
He's going to prison for a long long time_t.
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There's way too much nudity on TV programs these days...
I just sit there shaking my fist at them.
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Did you hear about the new computer Operating System called "Than" that selectively terminates half of all running programs?
We really needed "ThanOS" and it probably did nothing wrong.
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