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Investing Jokes

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

How do you get a million dollars in crypto investing?

Start with ten million.

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin?

Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.

I lost $5 million dollars investing in a bogus company that claimed to be planning to produce life like/sized Henry Winkler dolls.

It was a Fonzie scheme.

I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken and vegetable.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

Tim asked his bitcoin investing brother

For $10 worth of bitcoin

B: $9.34? Why do you need $10.35 of bitcoin?


T: I just want to start investing for college?


B: Ok, I just sent you $24.39 of bitcoin for you.


T: Thanks! Why did you give me more than I asked you for?


B: I gave you $15.43...

After years of Investing and Careful Trading I finally have a Six figure Portfolio thanks to Crypto.

Current Balance: $10.0001

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had three beautiful girlfriends but didn’t know which one to marry. As a test, he decided to give each woman $5,000 to see how they would spend it.

The first girlfriend went out and got herself
a complete makeover, She told him,
"I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second went shopping and bought the man new golf clubs, an iPad and an 80-inch flatscreen television. She said,"I bought th...

A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...

Oh, they already told you about it too?

Now more than ever, you’d be silly not to be investing in Russian automatic rifles.

Never fired, only dropped once.

I lost everything investing in poultry

That’s what you get for putting your money in chicken stock.

Why does Tom Brady hate investing cryptocurrancy

Because it could lead to inflation.

Why aren't farmers investing in flying cows?

Because the steaks are too high.

I recently started investing heavily into penny stocks.

It just seemed to make a lot of cents...

I’d recommend investing in Weed Wacker companies...

They work on cutting edge technology

A boy asked his bitcoin investing dad...

...for 100$ worth of bitcoin.

Dad: 98.7$ ? , what will you do with 105$? Can't you just think how valuable 95$ is?

I was investing in Monopoly games

Until I realized that there is no real money in them

Investing in an assisted suicide centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

I started investing in Egyptian tourism

Until I realized it was just a pyramid scheme

I've been thinking about investing in marijuana groweries.

I hear it's a budding industry.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

... because the capital is always Dublin!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW I lost all my money investing in a 2 story brothel.

Too much fucking overhead.

We need to start investing more in solar energy

But it's not just going to happen overnight

Investing in balloons just isn't as profitable as it used to be.

I blame inflation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Commenting on a new post is like investing in the stock market

If the post blows up, you probably get shit loads of karma

A friend was talking to me about investing in property in the Middle East

"Dubai?" I asked.

"No, I can't afford it yet", he replied.

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