I lost everything investing in poultry

That’s what you get for putting your money in chicken stock.

I’d recommend investing in Weed Wacker companies...

They work on cutting edge technology

I recently started investing heavily into penny stocks.

It just seemed to make a lot of cents...

Investing in an assisted suicide centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

I've been investing in stocks recently

Chicken, Beef, Vegetable.....

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire

Tim asked his bitcoin investing brother

For $10 worth of bitcoin

B: $9.34? Why do you need $10.35 of bitcoin?


T: I just want to start investing for college?


B: Ok, I just sent you $24.39 of bitcoin for you.


T: Thanks! Why did you give me more than I asked you for?


B: I gave you $15.43...

How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin?

Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.

Why aren't farmers investing in flying cows?

Because the steaks are too high.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it.

The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man. "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a...

A boy asked his bitcoin investing dad...

...for 100$ worth of bitcoin.

Dad: 98.7$ ? , what will you do with 105$? Can't you just think how valuable 95$ is?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW I lost all my money investing in a 2 story brothel.

Too much fucking overhead.

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday

Dad: What? $6,244??? $5,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $3,782 for anyway?

A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...

Oh, they already told you about it too?

I was investing in Monopoly games

Until I realized that there is no real money in them

Snoop Dogg seems to be investing in a company that will deliver weed to your house in 10 minutes...

Sadly, the name Instagram is taken.

My account said I'm crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof.

But I told him I'm going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if I could just think of a clever name for it, I'd be all set.

Investing in balloons just isn't as profitable as it used to be.

I blame inflation.

I've been thinking about investing in marijuana groweries.

I hear it's a budding industry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Commenting on a new post is like investing in the stock market

If the post blows up, you probably get shit loads of karma

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This guy called me up and asked if I had ever thought about investing in toilet paper...

At least he was upfront, usually we don't find out until much later that we invested in some shitty product that would ultimately be flushed down the toilet.

A friend was talking to me about investing in property in the Middle East

"Dubai?" I asked.

"No, I can't afford it yet", he replied.

I started investing in Egyptian tourism

Until I realized it was just a pyramid scheme

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

... because the capital is always Dublin!

We need to start investing more in solar energy

But it's not just going to happen overnight

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