A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $6.67? What do you need $15.32 for?

I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken and vegetable.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

What do you call investing your partners paycheck into a crypto currency they don't like?

Passive aggressive income

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Investing in Bitcoin is like sex without a condom

Everyone's pushing you to do it and it feels good once it's rising, but not withdrawing in time can be costly.

How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin?

Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.

Why does Tom Brady hate investing cryptocurrancy

Because it could lead to inflation.

Tim asked his bitcoin investing brother

For $10 worth of bitcoin

B: $9.34? Why do you need $10.35 of bitcoin?


T: I just want to start investing for college?


B: Ok, I just sent you $24.39 of bitcoin for you.


T: Thanks! Why did you give me more than I asked you for?


B: I gave you $15.43...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rags To Riches Success Story

A real touching success story! 

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine.  He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. 

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do...

I lost everything investing in poultry

That’s what you get for putting your money in chicken stock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it.

The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a Dvd player, a televis...

Boss hired a secretary

10 days later the Boss *committed suicide* by jumping from his 27th floor office...

Police : Who was there at that time in the room ?


Secretary : I was there.


Police :What happened ? Why did he commit suicide ?


Secretary :He was a good man. One day he bought ...

I’d recommend investing in Weed Wacker companies...

They work on cutting edge technology

Investing in an assisted suicide centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

A man furiously approaches his neighbour and shouts, “Where is your wife!?”

“Why?” the neighbour asks. “What did Anna do?”

“She tricked my wife into investing in a fake farm for giant snakes,” the man yelled.

“Anna conned her?”

“No. Burmese python.”

I recently started investing heavily into penny stocks.

It just seemed to make a lot of cents...

A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...

Oh, they already told you about it too?

Why aren't farmers investing in flying cows?

Because the steaks are too high.

I just lost a lot of money to a con-artist

He had this great pitch about investing in an innovative company that could identify male sheep by their urine. Turns out it was a pee-ram-id scheme.

A boy asked his bitcoin investing dad...

...for 100$ worth of bitcoin.

Dad: 98.7$ ? , what will you do with 105$? Can't you just think how valuable 95$ is?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW I lost all my money investing in a 2 story brothel.

Too much fucking overhead.

My account said I'm crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof.

But I told him I'm going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if I could just think of a clever name for it, I'd be all set.

I was investing in Monopoly games

Until I realized that there is no real money in them

Investing in balloons just isn't as profitable as it used to be.

I blame inflation.

I've been thinking about investing in marijuana groweries.

I hear it's a budding industry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Commenting on a new post is like investing in the stock market

If the post blows up, you probably get shit loads of karma

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