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Investments Jokes

Why do pediatricians not like long term investments?

They have little patients.

What kind of investments does a clown make?

Laughing stocks!!

Someone at a BDSM convention asked me what investments he should make

I told them to invest in stocks and bonds

Batman invited all the superheros to an evening discussing bitcoin investments

Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.

Russian Investments

Two Russians meet up:

- Have you heard, Bitcoin went up in value?

- Ya. But I only invest in one thing - VODKA

- Why Vodka?

- Where else do you get a 40% return??

We've all heard of "dogs with jobs." But where do they keep their investments?

A 401K-9

When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.

He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.

An Investment Banker Was Getting Married.

During Wedding, The Wife Vomits.
Husband: "What Happened?"
Wife: "Capital Gains Arising Out Of Previous Investment."
Husband: "U cheated me.."
Wife: "U should know, mutual fund investments are subject to market risks!"

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