A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the passwor...

What is the Capital of Greece?

About 5 Euros.

62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville".

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

It's not easy educating kids in the capital of Connecticut.

I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad; I'm a Hartford teacher.

I really regret what I did in the capital of Thailand

Bangkok

The CEO of Capital One was gonna run for president but has since withdrew his candidacy.

Apparently they asked people how likely they were to vote for him but there was.......

0% interest

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Capital letters are the only thing between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse...

...and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Louie-ville or Louis-ville?

It's Frankfort.

A celebrity from the capital of Taiwan

would be a Type-A Personality

Which country has the fastest growing capital?

Ireland. It's Dublin every year.

A blonde got tired of blonde jokes

One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last n...

why do millennials always type in lowercase?

because they reject capitalism.

Have you heard a joke about capital punishment?

Apparently, they're very hard to execute.

The use of capitals can really change the meaning of a sentence

Example:

I like to eat candy

I like to eat capitals

How many capitals does Fence have?!

They always say Murder is a capital of Fence, Kidnapping is a capital of Fence, Treason is a capital of Fence... and the names? Geeze, not very inviting places.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

I invented a diet. It's called the lowercase diet. Don't eat foods with capital letters.

Works best if you're German!

A young man helps his grandfather with his computer issues

His grandfather seems to be unable to set a password.

Trying to figure out the problem the young man looks at the password the old man is trying to set

His password is “ParisLondonMickeyMouse”

Puzzled by this, the man asks his grandfather why he wants to set this password anyway...

I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It's shift work

Why does Stalin only write in lower case?

Because he hates capitalism

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyNewYork” When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

How is it, that the capital city of USA is also the place of most successful laundry bussines?

Because they're washing tons.

I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...

THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take h...

My joke about capital punishment got downvoted.

I guess it was great concept, poor execution.

"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"

"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"


"That's easy, Berlin."


"And the capital of France?"


"Berlin"


"And the one of Poland?"


"Also Berlin."


"Good job Adolf, good job!"

What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands?

An Amsterdam Hamster Dam

Did you hear the capital of ISIS was taken?

It’s now WASWAS

What is the capital of Hungary?

Starving

Where is the capital of Zimbabwe?

In a Swiss bank account.

Why are kids from the capital of Belgium always so tall?

Because people from Brussels sprout!

Kratos visited Idaho's capital

Boyse

Did you know that the best leaders are born and bred in the capital of Taiwan?

They all have Taipei personalities.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Choosing a new password

Choosing a new password:

potato


Sorry, password must contain at least 8 letters.

boiled potato


Sorry, password must contain at least one number.


1 boiled potato


Sorry, password cannot contain spaces


50fuckingboiledpotatoes...

What happened to the criminal who was caught in the capital of Nevada

He was inCarsonated

Why are Irish people so rich?

Because their capital is Dublin

I had a detention for only using uppercase letters today

Stupid capital punishment

I bought a book on Capitalism but returned it.

Most of the letters were lower case.

Catwoman don't know the capital of Nepal...

but Kathmandu!

I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital...

They told me that case was sensitive.

What Do You Call Someone Who Puts A Capital Letter Of Every Word?

A Capitalist.

I’m really worried about Jerusalem being recognised as the capital of Israel.

Who’s going to Tel Aviv?

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

There is a type of capital punishment where the executioner yells mispronounced words at the inmates until they die.

It's called lethal inflection.

Capital letters...

...the difference between using chemicals to remove polish, and using chemicals to remove Polish.

"What's the capital of Alaska?"

\- "Juneau".

\- "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking".

The Washington Capitals walk into a bar.

Everybody orders a drink. They all finish drinking and order another. The Bartender asks if they would like to start a tab. Ovechkin comes out and says, "No, thanks. We always stop at the second round."

The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant..

I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence.

What's the capital of Zimbabwe? (from /r/TIL)

About $200.

By /u/ChuckFikkens in a [/r/todayilearned comment](http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2r1fdv/til_in_2013_zimbabwes_national_public_account/cnbnv13)

The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was....

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

What is the capital of Greece?

$20

(A friend told me this a few days ago).

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Password reset

A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support.

"I put in my password and I cannot access my account"

"Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one."

"Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?"...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jac...

If we took Korea's capital away ...

They would be Seoulless

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the US Capital this Christmas

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol.

A search for a Virgin continues.

There was n...