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me :i dont like capitalization in words, it's a waste of time

Teacher:Its important for one really good reason, because it's the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.

Where is the capital of Zimbabwe?

In a Swiss bank account.

What is the capital of Greece?

About $1.35 USD

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

What’s the capital of Idaho

Condoms

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Three men enter a bar in the USSR. One says, "Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?" The other one says, "Because he was afraid of capitalism."

The whole bar died laughing

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How Bangkok became the capital of Thailand

Long ago there was a king of Thailand, and he unfortunately passed away due to old age. However the people of Thailand saw this as an opportunity to grow and create a capital and have a new young robust leader.

The people decided to go to the surrounding tribes and select a few fit young men ...

To whomever made capital I and lower case L look the same..

l hope you're happy, Ioser.

Pakistan's capital city Islamabad has extended the ongoing lockdown for another eight days as the number of Covid-19 patients rose to 82, Dawn News reported today.

Things have gone from Islamabad to Islamaworse...

My teacher randomly capitalizes letters on an assignment when someone misbehaves

It’s their capital punishment

What's the biggest difference between Communism and Capitalism?

Capitalism uses common sense

Communism uses common cents

Everyone is debated capital punishment nowadays talking about lethal injection and humane treatment. Me, I think we should just shoot them in the head...

Seems like a no-brainer to me

Capitalism has man exploiting man

With communism, it's the other way around

A capital B is a pregnant P,

because it got the D.

why did stalin only write in lower case?

he was afraid of capitalism

My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution

Could this be a red flag?

62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital “Loo-uh-vul”, while 38% say “Loo-ee-ville.

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

Do you know why I named my stomach "Budapest"?

Because it is the Capital of Hungary!

A blonde got tired of blonde jokes...

One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last ni...

What country's capital has the fastest growing population.

Ireland, its Dublin everyday.

I WRITE MY JOKES IN CAPITALS

THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS

Which country’s capital is the fastest growing?

Answer: Ireland’s.

Every year it’s Dublin.

I got a new job helping a one armed typist when she needs to do capital letters

It's shift work

Cornwall has no capital

False or Truro

DC hasn't capitalize on Static popular

Which is just really SHOCKING.

Cows & politics

***SOCIALISM***

You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

***COMMUNISM***

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

***FASCISM***

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

***BUREAUCRATISM***

...

If you want to defeat capitalism......

If you want to defeat capitalism
Then you need to rally the *lowercase*

What's the capital of Greece?

About 5 euros.

If I was to visit just one capital city it would be Seoul.

If I decided on another one, that would be Dublin. And if I added a third it would be Tripoli.

What's it called when you take over one half of the capital of Hungary?

Pest control

Capitalization really changes a sentence.

For example:

I love candy.

I love capitalization.

What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?

In a capitalist society, man exploits man. In a socialist society, it's the other way round.

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One day, a teacher assigns the class to find out the definition of “politics.”

One day, a teacher assigns the class to find out the definition of “politics.”

One little boy in the class goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she...

Priest Gets his wish

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.

“I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die,” whispered the priest.
“I’ll ...

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I've come up with a new capital punishment method: A meal that, once eaten, causes fatal diarrhea.

That way the offenders can eat, shit, and die.

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Why is capitalization important?

because using chemicals to remove polish is just an annoying thing people have to do with their nails but using chemicals to remove Polish is one of hitler's war crimes.

Scientists are saying that the capital of the Republic of Ireland has increased by a staggering 100%!

It’s Dublin

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Dear people who don't use capital letters.

We're the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse

"Sir, I know you are having trouble typing in your password." "Please can we try again. Your password is capital A as in Apple, lowercase T as in Tom, the number 4, Q as in Cucumber... "

This is something I actually said during my call center days. The call screeners wouldn't let me forget for months.

Alaska has its own capital!

Did Juneau that?

What do you get if you cross Islam with Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

The use of capitals can really change the meaning of a sentence

Example:

I like to eat candy

I like to eat capitals

It can never remember the capital of Vietnam

It's really Hanoi-ing

What do you call a man who buys you expensive things and gives you money, and who also lives in the capital of Iraq?

A Sugar Baghdaddy

The human race?

Isn't that just capitalism?

My teacher said she would punish me if I didn't know Tehran is the capital of which country

So I ran

Was at a “Capital One Cafe” and asked the waitress for her phone number.

Oh NOW they start guarding personal data.

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A hideous little orc is in the kingdom's capital, looking to acquire medicine for his sick mom.

Nobody can stand the sight of him, with some even threatening violence of he doesn't leave.
He finds and alchemist's medicine shop at the market and tells him about his mother's illness.

"Ah, but of course!" says the alchemist, "It's clearly a case of Sakiara Fever. It's not very common at...

Q: What do capitalism and communism have in common

A: Starving poor people

In light of the customers' data breach Capital One unveiled a new slogan today:

Who's in your wallet?

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Bovine Economics

Basic Economics, brought up to date...



\*\*SOCIALISM\*\*



You have 2 cows.



You give one to your neighbor.



The government charges a gift tax.







\*\*COMMUNISM\*\*



You have 2 cows.



The...

A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the passwor...

Why are Irish bankers so successful?

Because their capital's always Dublin.

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Capitalization is important

For example: I need to help my uncle jack off the horse

Wanna see some small capital letters?

s a n m a r i n o

What's the worst route to take through Malawi's capital?

Lilongwe

Who knew? Ireland was the world's wealthiest nation.

Well, their capital is always Dublin.

History's biggest irony is that the Russian alphabet has no lowercase letters

It's all Capitalization.

My wife baked me a cake and I told her I was sending it to Budapest.

She asked why Budapest.

I said I'd renamed my stomach Budapest

She asked why again

Because Budapest is the capital of Hungry.

She is divorcing me.

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Louie-ville or Louis-ville?

It's Frankfort.

PASSWORD PROBLEMS ( LONG ONE )

Windows : Please enter your new password.

User : cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

User : boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must contain at least 1 numerical character.

User : 1 boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, t...

"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"

"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"


"That's easy, Berlin."


"And the capital of France?"


"Berlin"


"And the one of Poland?"


"Also Berlin."


"Good job Adolf, good job!"

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I just read somewhere that capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse" and "i helped my uncle jack off a horse".

Well that's embarrassing. Now everyone thinks my uncle's name is Jack.

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If you don’t think capitalization is important

Try writing this sentence without it - I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse.

What do you call people who think capitalism should go unchecked?

Ownanists.

State Fair

My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'





My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ....Smiled and s...

A mother is helping her son study for a test : She asks him "What is the capital of Germany?"

He replies "Berlin."

She then asks "What is the capital of France?"

He replies "Berlin."

She asks "What is the capital of Russia?"

He replies "Berlin."

She then hugs him and says "Great job Adolf, you'll do so well on your geography exam!"

The CEO of Capital One was gonna run for president but has since withdrew his candidacy.

Apparently they asked people how likely they were to vote for him but there was.......

0% interest

My joke about capital punishment got downvoted.

I guess it was great concept, poor execution.

I can understand russian letters.

Only the capitalized ones though.

I finally understand the difference between capitalism, libertarianism, and socialism.

Capitalists hire libertarians to say socialism is bad. Socialists say capitalism is bad for free. And libertarians will say everyone else is bad as long as they get paid.

It's not easy educating kids in the capital of Connecticut.

I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad; I'm a Hartford teacher.

How do you get rid of capitalism?

Just get rid of the shift and caps lock keys.

A celebrity from the capital of Taiwan

would be a Type-A Personality

Have you heard a joke about capital punishment?

Apparently, they're very hard to execute.

The Swing Bar

Jim's friends take him to a bar he hadn't been to before then. It was like any other joint, minus the oddly cheap booze, and the group of people huddled in the corner.

Jim asks the bartender what they're doing, and he explains that they're having a "swing".

Jim and his friends venture...

I invented a diet. It's called the lowercase diet. Don't eat foods with capital letters.

Works best if you're German!

I really regret what I did in the capital of Thailand

Bangkok

About 50 years ago in Texas

The bee protection act was passed which made it illegal to sabotage/kill bees from other farmers.

This was due to the fact that many bee farmers would sabotage each other and it became so big that Texas congress had to pass a law.

The problem was so big that it allowed for capital puni...

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99% of people say: "Fuck capitalism"

Capitalism says: "Fuck 99% of people"

(pull your shirt collar forward and look inside)

Now, spell attic in capitals

How many capitals does Fence have?!

They always say Murder is a capital of Fence, Kidnapping is a capital of Fence, Treason is a capital of Fence... and the names? Geeze, not very inviting places.

How is it, that the capital city of USA is also the place of most successful laundry bussines?

Because they're washing tons.

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