I’m giving up drinking, for a month.

*(oops, incorrect punctuation)*

I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm giving up masturbating for an entire month.

Sorry, bad punctuation.

I'm giving up. Masturbating for an entire month.

Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.”

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.”

“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur, “your brother is 85. He can’t help.”

“He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So th...

I don't get what all the fuss is about. Giving up smoking is so easy!

I've done it hundreds of times.

I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up

I now suffer from anxiety and depression

I'm giving up drinking till christmas

Bad punctuation, can't edit title

I'm giving up. Drinking till Christmas.

After 8 months of trial and error, hundreds of hours of YouTube, losing money, almost giving up, I can finally say I made my first $100 trading stocks

Never mind, I'm in the red again.

I'm giving up spreadsheets for 40 days

It is excel lent

Why did the eraser on the end of the pencil feel like giving up?

Because it couldn't see the point.

Finnish people eagerly await giving up the mandatory social distancing guidelines

So they can return from the government mandated 2 meters of distance to the normal 5 meters

I'm giving up on my legs

They keep standing me up.

What's Donald Trump giving up for Lent this year?

Your grandparents.

I'm giving up alcohol for the duration of this quarantine.

Wait. I wrote that wrong.

I'm giving up. Alcohol for the duration of this quarantine.

I'm giving up smoking weed for a year.

That's not right.

I'm giving up, smoking weed for a year.

My friends won’t stop teasing me for giving up in a marathon after only 1 mile

I’ve become a running joke

Dr. Dre is giving up music.

Instead, he has decided to become a shepherd, and raise sheep.

Introducing Bleats by Dre.

Everybody is giving up on their New Years resolutions, but I have upped mine!

Only 13 kg to go now

Arnold Schwarzenegger just announced he's giving up the limelight to go back to his first love, pest control.

He's an ex-terminator now.

I'm giving up negativity for lent.

We'll see how long that lasts.

What is the Catholic Church giving up for Lent?

Answer: The Pope!

I'm giving up self control for lent

It's going to be so hard!

I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year

Roll on 2017

I am giving up eating red meats.

I'm going cold turkey.

I'm giving up on the argument...

From now on I will pronounce it 'gif'.

I tried giving up erections for lent...

but it got pretty hard.

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