Have you ever been walking behind someone and they're slow and you can't get around them no matter what you do and then you try to pass them and at the very last second they turn right in front of you and block you and you get frustrated?

Anyway, I need bail.

How did George Washington get around?

on Air HORSE One!

How do shellfish get around London?

With an Oyster Card!

How did Luke Skywalker get around the forest moon of Endor?


How do crabs get around on land?

They use the sidewalk.

Me: so how do you guys get around?

DUMBLEDORE: lots of ways. you can take the secret train

ME: makes sense

DUMBLEDORE: fly a broomstick

ME: fun

DUMBLEDORE: flush a toilet and get sucked down into it.

ME: waitaminute... what?


How does an artist get around?

Well, quite easel-y.

I keep meaning to write my memoirs, but never get around to it.

It's my oughta biography

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese man, French man and a redneck are sitting at a bar. The subject get around to sex and what they to drive their wife crazy.

The Japanese man: After we make love, I softly massage my wife's breasts. It drives her crazy.

The French man: After we make love, I kiss her eyes, then her breasts, then her sweet spot. It drives her crazy.

The redneck: After I jump the old ladies bones, I get up and wipe my dick of...

Whenever I'm in pain, I get around it by...

...blaming it on my nerve cells.

How do ticks get around?

They Itch Hike

How does Jesus get around the busy streets of bethlehem?

By using the crosswalk

What does an aging Sith lord with a bad hip use to get around?

An Imperial Walker

When Fozzy the Muppet gets old what will he need to get around?


How do oysters get around?

In mussel cars.

How do scratched dvds get around?

They skip

How does a baby Wookie get around?


How do people in Nor Cal get around?

Hella copters

From my Dad: I never did get around to paying for my exorcism

So now I've been repossessed.

Someone really needs to start a procrastination club

Maybe I'll get around to doing that tomorrow

A Doctor was chatting at a party with a Chartered Accountant.

He asked, "How do I manage this delicate issue when people even at a party like this ask me about their joint pains and heartburn and gas trouble. Just because I am a doctor.... not fair!"

The CA friend replied coolly, "Just tell them the right things politely but send them a bill from your c...

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