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Go Around Jokes

Before you go around posting “He has risen”

Remember to add spoiler alert.

Some of us haven’t read the book yet.

Why do Russian policemen go around in threes?

One who can read.

One who can write.

And one to keep an eye on the intellectuals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like to go around to construction sites and give out handjobs.

A Jack off all trades.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope decides to go around Rome incognito

He steps into his limousine. All the windows are tinted obviously, so no one can see who's inside. The Pope tells the driver to go around Rome at once. However, the driver is really nervous, because it's the first time he takes the Pope around all alone; usually, His Holiness is surrounded by a doze...

Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.

They decided to call it a day.

You can't go around saying that the polar ice caps are causing sea levels to rise.

That's glacial profiling.

My friend likes to go around filling animals with Hellium.

I was going to tell him to stop, but then I thought to myself: "Hey, whatever floats your goat"

If I go around spanking statues,

Does that mean I've hit rock bottom?

Does anyone go around looking for particularly somber grass?

Just so they can say, "This is a grave yard."

I know a nun who has a tendency to go around wearing a horrible garment made of German sausages

It must be her Wurst Habit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happens if you go around a pole at the speed of light?

You will fuck yourself both literally and metaphorically.

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

Why do the Politsiya (Russian federal agency) always go around in groups of three?

One can read, one can write, and one keeps an eye on the two dangerous intellectuals.

Why did the chicken go around the world?

Because his name was Marco Pollo..

I go around throwing a stone at anyone who sings Christmas carols before Thanksgiving. What is the name of this stone?

It's my Jingle Bell Rock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend and I used to get hammered and go around pissing off balconies

We’d stumble down the street until we found a good one. Then we were all like “Hey balcony, you’re a real piece of shit.”

Why did Bryan Cranston dress up as a priest and go around exorcising nuns' clothing?

He was breaking bad habits.

My friend is the most average person on the planet yet he loves to go around judging and criticising other people

He's really mean

It’s ridiculous that the pope has to go around surrounded by armed guards these days

I know he’s a priest but he’s not going to do anything out in public

It's that time of the year when many Americans go around in public pretending to be something they're not, with many choosing to appear as monsters and ghouls. But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

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