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Gears Jokes

As a German, you know what really grinds my gears?

Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.

What really grind my gears...

...is people who can't drive stick.

Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't move at all...

After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her.

The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it.

So he turns to the blonde and asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are usin...

How do you change gears in a coffin car?

You have to work the graveyard shift.

Do you know what grinds my gears?

Do you know what grinds my gears? I have to read the aforementioned title twice for most jokes.

I suspect, the gears on my bike are no good.

Of late, they have been very shifty.

How many gears does a French Tank have?

Six - one forward and five in reverse

The new French tanks have 14 gears...

13 to go in reverse and 1 to go in forward in-case the enemy attacks from behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a german you know What really grinds my gears?

When that fucker in the left Lane is only going 190 on the fucking autobahn you fucking disgrace.

How many gears does a French tank have?

One forward, five reverse

Heard it before? Well I bet you don’t know how many gears a Swiss tank has

Because they’re always in neutral

Do you know what really grinds my gears?

My wife! This is her first time driving a manual.

Do you know what really grinds my gears?

When my maintenance guys fail to inspect them for the proper mesh and clearance.

Why does the motorcycle get sad when shifting gears?

Because the clutch is depressed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Batman and Robin go out for a few drinks

Both superheroes are exhausted after a long week of non-stop crime fighting, and decide to chill for a few a hours at the local watering hole.

Robin knows his friend has been working way too hard and for long hours. So he thinks, what the heck, he can get drunk and relax. He decides to remain...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

Did you hear about the wooden car with wooden tyres, wooden gears and a wooden steering wheel?

It wooden go!

What's the difference between a steampunk bike and a regular bike?

On a steampunk bike the gears don't do anything.

French tanks have 6 gears for going backwards and only 1 gear for going forward

In case they get attacked from behind

Old Hungarian buys a new bicycle

Old Hungarian buys a new bicycle, brings it home to the village. Shiny chrome, lots of gears, everyone likes it.


Next day his son wants to borrow the bike as he wants to visit his love in the neighbouring village.
The dad agrees but makes the son promise that he will take great car...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In my past life, I was a message delivery man in an army base

One day, I got a letter for Bravo Company, and took off to deliver it as quickly as I could. When I found them they were doing exercises in one of the yards, I walked up to the sergeant to deliver the message.

He took the letter, read it over, folded it and put it in his pocket. Then he yell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

6 Life Lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give y...

Lesson 3 of 6: The Priest

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he le...

If Transformers are cars and cars are Transformers.

Aren't we giving Bumblebee a handjob everytime we shift gears.

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