UPJOKE

How does a Pokemon trainer solve differential equations?

By using a Lapras Transform

Calculust

Why are differential equation courses so dry?

Because the problems are all about losing liquids at varying rates.

My friends’s car had a puddle of oil dripping from its differential

I said, “looks like you blew a seal”. He wiped his mouth and said, “Naw, it’s just mayonnaise from my sandwich “

A constant and e^x was walking along the road...

...when they saw a differential operator in the distance. The constant stops and says "I can't go further because the differential operator will make me disappear". e^(x) replies "yea well a differential operator can't affect me". So e^(x) walks forward to the operator and says "Hey I'm e^(x) " to w...

Ordinary Differential Humor

A bunch of continuous functions were hanging out at a bar, having a few drinks and having fun. The door swings opened and the differential operator walked in. All the functions started scrambling and ran out the door except one lonely function.

The differential operator ran up to him and yel...

I once had a 2nd shift job, 3pm-11pm.

They even had a shift differential!

After my first couple weeks I received a case of hotdogs along with my paycheck. I thought nothing of it, but then it happened again next payday, and honestly the paycheck felt a little short.

I approached my boss and asked him what the deal was....

What would you call a poem written in the honour of a Mathematician?

dy/dx - 3x = 2

What's this?

An ODE (Ordinary Differential Equation)

A Calculus joke

Verbatim from what my professor just showed in one of my engineering classes:

e^x and a constant are walking down the street together when the constant sees a differential operator coming their way. He starts to run away, and e^x asks "Why are you running away?" The constant answers, "That's...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by.

He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smil...

Maths is fun

One day, e^x sees x^2 running down the street in a panic. "What's wrong?" asks e^x. "There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him too many times, I'll disappear!"

"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry about me -- he can't hur...

One professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home broke down.

He called a plumber. The plumber came on the next day, sealed a few screws and everything was working as before.

The professor was delighted. However, when the plumber gave him the bill a minute later, he was shocked.

"This is one third of my monthly salary !" he yelled.

Well, a...

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Werner Heisenberg, Georg Ohm, Galileo Galilei, Max Planck, and Louis de Broglie were carpooling to work...

...when they got pulled over for speeding. However, when the police officer tried to ask them how fast they were going, he couldn't get a straight answer, and the group was so rowdy that they had to be brought in for questioning.

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

Fencing in Cattle

Three gentleman who excel in their respective fields are invited to compete in a competition. Competing are: a top Engineer, a shrewd Businessman, and an award-winning Mathematician. The judges, in turn ask each gentleman to fence in a herd of cattle using the shortest length of fence.

The e...

A village of mathematical functions is slumbering

when suddenly the alarm bells ring:
a rogue differential operator has been sighted.
Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!
The differential op...

x^2 is running down the street frantically

screaming "A differential is coming! A differential is coming! He'll differentiate me to nothing!" All of x^2's friends are frightened as well, except one. e^x.

e^x says "I'm not afraid of any differential - When you differentiate me, I don't change at all!" e^x then walks up to the different...

An escalating series of math jokes

Me: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Math is hard, and so I am.

Her: I wish you were my differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk.

Me: Well, I'm awfully glad you're not *my* differential equations homework... because i...