When asked if he would be switching to Windows 11, what was Arnold Schwarzenegger's response?

"I still love vista, baby."

Hey! I saved a bundle on car insurance, by switching....

my car on reverse and leaving the scene of the accident!

Got arrested by cops for celebrating earth day and switching off all plugs

Shouldn't have done it in a hospital i guess

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

A guy phoned and asked if I was interested in switching to an alternative energy supply...

I said “ No, I think I’ll stick with food thanks!”

I don't get the reasoning behind switching to Daylight Savings Time in the USA

I guess I'm still in the dark.

The UK tested switching to the dollar...

Many years ago, England was considering switching the Pound over to the dollar. As a test run to see how it would fare, they made a run of dollar coins that they distributed to the public.

Not wanting to get them confused with the one pound coins, they decided they would change the Queen's fa...

There's this new guy on my bowling team. His name is Frank, and he's a really nice guy and an excellent bowler, but there's just one thing about him.

At the end of every game, Frank says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late." The rest of us guys find it really annoying. He almost always shows up right on time, but still, he always says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late."

One day we decided that we wanted to find out why he alw...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife are watching tv. He keeps switching between fishing and porn.

After a while, the man’s wife says, “Keep it on porn, you already know how to fish.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Switching it up

A gorgeous blond walks into a bar and orders 3 Budweisers. She drinks them and get gets so slammed she screws the bartender and both customers in the bar. The next day she comes back and orders 3 Budweisers, get drunk and screws all 10 customers. The next day 35 men are waiting for her to show up. S...

I killed my grandpa by switching off his life support

Gotta admit it was quite breathtaking

Russian Conductor

(TL;DR at bottom, it's a long joke)

So a Russian train engineer is barreling down a track, and doesn't slow down for three people crossing, killing them instantly. He gets the electric chair as punishment. For what should be his last meal, he asks for a banana. He gets his request, and is ele...

America's almost finished switching to the metric system.

But they still have miles to go.

The Pentagon is in the middle of switching up their nuclear codes..

They want them to be longer, in order to make them more secure. It’s not because they’re worried about spies cracking the codes. It’s just that they want them to be over 140 characters so Trump can’t tweet them out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling, says a confessant.

why can’t the priest just pick a position and fuck me already!

I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology...

... The biggest difference is that the phrase "my server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.

On his deathbed, a lifelong Republican told his best friend that he was switching parties and becoming a Democrat.

“My God,” his friend replied, “why would you do such a thing?”

“Simple,” the man muttered in his last breath, “because I’d rather one of them die than one of us.”

It always makes me smile when people suggest switching to the metric system.

Or should it rather make me skilometer?

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