Ropes Jokes

The bartender looks at him and says “get out, we don’t serve ropes in here!”

The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half and ties his two sections together. Not pleased with his appearance, he takes a comb and combs out his ends.

He walks back into the bar and the bartender says “... read more

A rope walked into a bar. The bartender said, "We don't serve your kind here! No ropes allowed!" The rope left, tied his top end, and fluffed out the fringe. He reentered the bar, and the bartender said, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just threw out?" "No," the rope said. "I'm a frayed knot."

No one at the prison thought it was funny either.

Ohh wait they can knot.

He walks up and takes a seat at the bar stool and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender tells him, "Sorry we don't serve ropes around here". So the rope leaves and tries a second place. He takes a seat and once again is told that the place doesn't serve ropes. Frustrated the rope cuts himsel... read more

They all sit down at a table and one of the ropes says “you guys stay here, I’ll go order the drinks.”

That rope then goes to the bar and the bartender says to him “It’s company policy to not serve ropes here.”

The rope then reruns to the table dejected and tells his buddies “Sorry g... read more

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find John sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! "Wow, John, how long you been here, and how did you talk your Missus into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night... Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and ... read more

Because they are knotty

They must be taut.

*twist on old joke*

As they order bartender shakes his head, "Can't you read?" as he gestures to a sign that says ,"We don't like dopes and don't serve Ropes!"

The rope is floored, but his mother warned him that some people didnt like ropes. So he and his buddy left.

Outside his... read more

The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:

- If you pull the right leg rope, he's gonna greet you in French, and if you pull the left leg rope, he'll greet you in German

- And what about, if i pull both simultaneously? - asks the man.

- Well, he...<... read more

The group of ropes find a town, and find the bar. They run in and ask for water.
Ropes: can we have some water!?
Bar keep: didn't ya see the sign, no ropes! Get out!
And the bar keep kicks them out. The first rope has an idea: what if two of us stack up so that we look like a pers... read more

Sorry that was badly executed

The bartender says "Get out of here! We don't serve ropes here!"

So the rope heads around the block, walks up to a stranger and says "Hey, can you tie me in a knot?" Stranger shrugs and does it.

The rope hangs out a little longer, till a lady walks by and he asks "Hey, could you fray ... read more

Theres a sign up that reads “No Ropes Allowed”. The bartender sees him and says, “Hey you gotta get out, your kind isn’t welcome here”. The rope goes home, ties a knot at the top and takes a pair of scissors and cuts up whats sticking out to look like hair. He goes back to the bar where the bartende... read more

The rope asked the bartender: "can I get a
Bud Lite?"

The bartender responded: "Sir, we don't serve ropes"

The rope went into the bathroom with a knife and frayed himself, then went back to the bar

The rope asked again: "Can I get a Bud Lite?"

The bartender responded:... read more

It was called "Accessories To The Crime"

Because they're too high-strung.

Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there.

"I'll show you the ropes."

(I just thought of this joke. I'm sure it's been made before, sorry.)