A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his zipper...

The bartender says “hey buddy, you have a steering wheel on your zipper!”
Pirate says “arrr, it’s driving me nuts!”

I took the HOV lane underground, when suddenly my hands started cramping on the steering wheel.

Must be my carpool tunnel syndrome.

I used to have an addiction to drinking power steering fluid.

But I've turned my life around now!

So, a pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to his crotch.

Bartender: "You know you got a ship's steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

Pirate: "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!"

One pirate said to another, “Is that a steering wheel between your legs?”

The other pirate replied, “Aye, and it’s driving me nuts.”

A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs.

He says to the bartender, "ello mate, can I get a pint of bitter?" The bartender says "sure thing, but why is there a steering wheel between your legs?" The man says "No idea mate, but its driving me nuts."

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thro...

A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel over his crotch.

The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the steering wheel?"

The man replies, "It's none of your business"

The bartender asks again, "Come on, tell me"

The man replies, "I told you it's none of your business"

The bartender pleads one more time, "You have to tell me whats wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An irish sailor with the steering wheel of a ship jammed into his crotch walks into a bar

He walks into the bar

The bartender approaches him worried and says to the sailor " What the fuck man is that a steering wheel?"

To wich the sailor replies "Aye lad, it's drivin me nuts"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A witch put a curse on me and now my penis has a steering wheel

It drives me nuts

I’ve been driving for Uber/Lyft full time for a few months now and my wrists are starting to hurt from turning the steering wheel so much.

I think I’m getting Car Pool Tunnel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a bloke at the beach with a steering wheel on his Willy

I said ‘mate, you know you’ve got a steering wheel on your knob’

He said ‘yeah, it’s driving me nuts’

Did you hear about the wooden car with wooden tyres, wooden gears and a wooden steering wheel?

It wooden go!

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to the front of his pants...

The barkeep says "I have no problem serving pirates, but I gotta ask...what's with the steering wheel?"

The pirate looks at him and says "Arr, it be drivin me nuts..."

Ever driven a car with no steering wheel?

It's pretty straight forward.

A guy in an old, cheap car

Stopped at a gas station beside the latest Mercedes driven by a rich man. The first guy says "that's a nice car you got here, but my car is better". The second guy smiles and asks calmly "and how it is better?" The guy replies "well, my car comes with a genie" the guy with the Mercedes sarcastically...

A pirate walks in with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper...

His matey asks, "Aarrr, why is there a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"

The pirate respond, "Aarrr, it's me wife, she drives me nuts."

Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?

She was trying to blow the horn.

Why do Mexicans always install those tiny steering wheels in their cars?

So they can drive with the handcuffs on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American company and Japanese company decided to have a boat race

Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. The American team was discouraged by the loss and corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hire...

I recently got into an accident by over steering into a Korean car.

It could have been avoided if I had better Hyundai coordination.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his zipper...

He sets up at the bar and orders a drink. The bar tender says, "whooaa whoaaa, before I serve you a drink, whats up with the steering wheel coming out of your zipper?" The pirate just says, "yaarrg its drivin' me nuts"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't you hate it when people attach little steering wheels to their penises?

It drives me nuts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day

Here's my favorite pirate joke:

When I was 17, I went on a class trip to a beach but I snuck away to explore on my own. I went into this bar. It had nautical stuff on the wall, a bunch of shark jaws, but also streamers and balloons about the place. It looked like there was a party going on. ...

A worried husband calls the police, his wife is missing.

Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know...

a car's weakest part

the nut holding the steering wheel

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