A guy walks into a bar wearing a Browns jersey and carrying a cat that also has a Browns jersey on with a little Browns helmet on his head, too.

The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the Browns game here?
My TV at home is broke, and my cat and I always watch the game together."

The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but
it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can ...

Overcome with the beauty of the Earth from space, the astronaut removed his helmet...

The view was breathtaking!

Q: why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate?

A: she was on a crash diet

Why don't Harley riders wear helmets?

If you spent $30,000 on a bike and $10,000 on apparel and people still thought you were a dweeb you would be suicidal too!

A construction worker without a helmet walks into a bar.

Ouch.

what do you call a cyclist without a helmet?

an organ donor.

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My wife tells me I look uncool wearing a bike helmet

But I’d rather look “uncool” than fall and split my head open during sex.

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I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex.

Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.

What does the N on the Nebraska football team’s helmet stand for?

Nowledge.

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

She asked me to make her feel special

So I gave her a helmet and crayons.

Stormtrooper helmets

I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.

How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone in his helmet?

He uses a hans free device

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A mounted policeman stops his horse next to a little girl and her tricycle.

He leans over the side of the horse, and says "That's a nice trike, did Santa give it to you for Christmas?". The little girl proudly says yes. "Well, it looks like he forgot to give you a helmet too," the policeman says, "I'm going to have to write you a ticket."
At this point, the little girl ...

The first jockstrap in ice hockey was introduced in 1874. The helmet was first obligatory in 1974.

So it took precisely 100 years before men realized that the brain eventually could be useful too.

I've started wearing a bike helmet, cause I find safety important. Now people stare and make fun of me.

I'll never go to that spinning class again.

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Long. A little white rabbit is being chased through the forest by a bear.

As they are running, they both trip over a magic lamp. The genie pops out and looks at the two.

“Since you both touched the lamp, you will both get 3 wishes,” says the genie.

The bear starts jumping up and down waving its paws and says “Oh, oh, oh, me first! I wish all the bears in thi...

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Just a little fire truck

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her...

A baseball manager calls up a Chinese rookie from the minor leagues

The player shows up before his first game and goes to take batting practice. The manager sees him walking to the batter's box with a frying pan sitting on his head. He says "You can't wear a frying pan in the batter's box, son. You need a helmet."

The player responds: "This is my lucky frying...

Why couldn't Jango wear Boba's helmet?

It didn't Fett.

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A lion is taking a peaceful drink out of a jungle stream, when a gorilla spots him through the trees

The gorilla sneaks up behind the lion, grabs his hindquarters, and screws him up the butt


The lion roars out and the gorilla takes off through the trees. The gorilla manages to stretch out his lead a bit, when he comes on a camp. The gorilla decides to disguise himself as a human on saf...

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How is cunnilingus like riding a bike with an open face helmet?

It's a lot of fun as long as you don't end up with bugs in your teeth.

What did one helmet say to the other

I'll stay here, you go on a head

You’re speeding down a road when you see red and blue lights in your rearview mirror...

You tense up and pull over to the side of the road. The cop pulls over behind you on a police motorcycle. You’re perspiring hastily at the thought of getting a ticket. The cop approaches your vehicle and says “Do you know how fast you were growing?”

You say “Yes officer, I was going fifteen ...

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the forest when they stumble across a magic lamp.

The rabbit picks up the lamp, and rubs it. Out comes a genie, and it grants them both 3 wishes.

The bear, now focused on the wishes, decides to test the genie’s limits. He says, “I wish every other bear in the forest were female!”

The rabbit simply says, “I wish for a motorcycle helmet...

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It’s a long joke but I think it’s worth it.

A bear is chasing a rabbit in the woods. Suddenly a magic owl appears and says to them: “Stop the hunt! I am a magic owl and I give each of you 3 wishes. Who begins?”
The bear directly says: “Me! I wish that every bear in this forest becomes a female.” *and his wish came true*
The rabbit wishe...

A hideous little orc is in the kingdom's capital, looking to acquire medicine for his sick mom.

Nobody can stand the sight of him, with some even threatening violence of he doesn't leave.
He finds and alchemist's medicine shop at the market and tells him about his mother's illness.

"Ah, but of course!" says the alchemist, "It's clearly a case of Sakiara Fever. It's not very common at...

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

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Three rednecks are drinking beer at a bar. After a few drinks they start talking about their wives.

The first redneck says, "My wife’s so damn stupid… the other day she bought a motorcycle helmet and we don’t even have a bike."

The second redneck says, "Oh yeah? Well my wife’s so stupid, she bought us a Blu-Ray player and we don’t even have a TV."

The third redneck says, "Oh yeah, we...

A hip young man goes out and buys a 2001 Ferrari 360 Spider. It is the best convertible sports car, costing about $250,000.

He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped, wearing an open face crash helmet (looking about 70 years old) pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny red surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" The youn...

The Avengerth

A guy was walking down the street when he glanced down an alley and saw that it was almost entirely demolished. In the center of the rubble laid a man with all his teeth missing and blood pouring from his mouth.

The bystander ran up to the injured man. "What happened?"

"Well, I wath ...

A Russian spy meets the minister of defence...

The Russian minister of defence calls Boris Morozov, the best spy in Russia, to infiltrate the American army and find out why they excel so much in combat.

"Understood" says Boris. " I will infiltrate the US army for a year and then I will come back to motherland with findings"

And so...

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Two eggs are about to have sex

And the guy egg puts on a crash helmet...

The girl egg asks "why the helmet?"

He replies "The last time I was this hard, I got hit on the head with a spoon!"

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A son comes out as bisexual to his father.

A son comes out as bisexual to his father and asks if his father will still accept him. The father says yes of course he will.

A few months later the son fails his driving test and asks if his father will accept him. At that age the father used to cycle to school because he had failed it many...

NSFW

Not wearing helmet at a construction site

Cops and Speeders

TW: blonde joke

A blonde was driving on the highway and a motorcycle officer pulled her over for speeding.

The officer approached the drivers door and when her helmet came off, turns it was a blonde female cop. She asked the driver for her license. The driver frantically searched ...

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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other.

One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a mo...

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One day a man was riding his bike through the countryside

He was going a little fast and suddenly a bird hit his helmet and fell in-front. He went to check on the bird and found it is still alive but unconscious. He put the bird in a cage and waited. He eventually went to do something. The bird woke up, panicked and screams, “Holy shit, did I killed the bi...

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A rabbit and a bear stumble upon a magic lamp.(some of you may have heard it)

They rub it and a genie appears. The genie promises each of them three wishes each but they'd have to take turns making the wishes.
It's the bear first, so he goes "I wish all the bears in this jungle were female with the exception of me."
The wish was granted.
The rabbit's turn. He goes" I...

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A bear and a rabbit was walking in a forest, and they met a genie

The genie granted them each 3 wishes
The bear wished that all the bears in the local area were girls (the bear is a guy) and the rabbit wished for a motorbike. The bear then wished that all the bears in the the country were girls except for him, and the rabbit wished for a motorbike helmet. The b...

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The Bear, the Rabbit, and the Magic lamp

A bear was casing a rabbit though the woods to eat. During the case the two stumble over a magic lamp.

A Genie appeared to the both of them as said. "I will grant you each three wishes."

The bear went first, "I wish every other bear in the woods was female!" The genie waved his hand an...

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The bear and the rabbit

A bear and a rabbit are walking through the woods and find a lamp. After rubbing it, a genie appears and agrees to grant them both 3 wishes.

For his first wish, the bear says, "I wish all the female bears in this forrest find me irresistable and sexy" and the genie grants his wish. The rabbit...

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3 boys named Poop, Trouble, and Shutup were riding their bikes down the street...

Poop fell off so Trouble stopped to make sure he was okay. Shutup rode ahead but was stopped by a policeman who noticed he wasn't wearing a helmet. The policeman said, "I'm going to have to write you a citation. What's your name, son?"

"Shutup, officer."

"Excuse me?!" The policeman sai...

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A pervert and a jerk are having a walk at the forest...

A pervert and a jerk are having a walk at the forest, when suddenly a fairy appears and offers 3 wishes to each one.

The pervert has the first turn, and he wishes for the whole forest to be filled with women only for him. His wish is done, the forest is full of women.

It’s the jerk’s t...

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A Rabbit, a Bear, And a Genie In The Woods

A rabbit and a bear are chilling in the woods together when a genie suddenly appears. The genie says to the two of them 'I am a genie who can grant wishes. I will grant each of you three wishes, but think carefully because once I grant the wish it cannot be undone'.



Rabbit and Bear th...

My wife said she wanted to feel special this Valentines Day.

So I bought her a helmet and some crayons.

Would you like a free coupon?

A man is selling lemonade from a sidewalk stand. A boy rides by on his skateboard.

"WOULD YOU LIKE A FREE COUPON?!" the man shouts at the boy. The boy is so startled that he falls backwards off his skateboard.

The boy wasn't wearing a helmet and cracks his head open on the sidewalk. Th...

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A Gorilla is sitting in a tree...

...and he is a pretty horny. There are no other apes around but he sees the lion eating a boar and he thinks about it and decides that a hole is a hole so he jumps down and fucks the lion in the ass. the lion lets out a terrifying roar and whips around but the gorilla has already finished and is run...

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My Grandpa was an amazing man

My grandpa left school and was told by his parents, whom could clearly afford it, that if he wanted to study at university he would need to pay his own way. Well he did exactly that and took a role as a mail boy in a merchant bank.

When WW1 broke he was drafted and fought as a officer in the ...

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Nsfw a rabbit and a bear cross a field and stumble on a green lamp.

The rabbit spoting the lamp instinctively rubbed it and in his astonishment and with a large puff of smoke a genie appeared coughing and splutering...

"Wow thank you both for releasing me its been ages since my last release. As customary i grant you both three wishes of your hearts desire"...

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A blonde guy walks into a bar

A hefty, muscular gun toting blond guy from Austin Texas goes to a bar on his Harley Davidson. He parks the bike outside, goes in and orders a drink.

Now the regulars at this bar have a habit of picking on newcomers. So when the blond goes back his bike is missing from its spot. He walks back...

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Bear and rabbit get wishes

Bear and rabbit were just walking through the forest, as a fairy apearred. it granted both 3 wishes.
bears first wish was, to make every bear girl in this forest like only him. the rabbit on the other hand just wanted a very fast harley.
second wish from bear was that every bear girl on the wh...

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A bear and a hare found a magic lamp.

And the genie that comes out of it says that they both get 3 wishes each.

The bear goes first and say: I wish to be the sexiest male bear in the universe.

The genie snaps his finger and simply replies: Your wish has been granted.

The hare asks for a Harley Davidson motorcycle....

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The bear and the rabbit and their fairy tale

In the woods. There is a bear and a rabbit. The bear is an grumpy and always horny guy.
The rabbit has to suffer a lot from him. He gets humiliated all the time. When the bear goes to the toilet and there is no paper around, he takes the rabbit to wipe his butt.
When he gets horny... He also...

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Mouse and a bear find a genie lamp

A mouse and a bear find a genie lamp in the woods. The bear rubs it and a genie pops out and says,
"Thank you for freeing me, for doing so I grant you both three wishes each."

The bear went first and said, "I wish the entire earth was covered in forests," and the genie makes the whole eart...

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A magic frog is hopping through a forest.

The forest is so big, he's not seen a single animal since he left his birthing puddle. One day he sees a bear chasing a rabbit and he stops them. "As you are the first living things I've seen in a long time, I will grant you each 3 wishes."

The rabbit takes a moment to think, but the bear blu...

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Answer

My fourteen-year-old son and I were lying on our backs on the grass in the park, watching the clouds loiter overhead, when he asked me, “Dad, why are we here?”

And this is what I said:

“I’ve thought a lot about it, son, and I don’t think it’s all that complicated. I think maybe we’re h...

I know how to solve the homeless problem and make bums into hard working citizens!

Give them construction worker helmets. They already have the standing around doing nothing part down!

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A bear, a frog and a genie.

A bear and a frog found a genie in the middle of the forest. As they both found it the genie grant them 3 wishes.

"I wish for a really tasty fly to come by,"
Said the frog.

The bear looked at him amused at his dumb wish and went on to ask,
"I wish female bears preferres me over ...

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A wolf and a rabbit hated each other...

One day, the pair were walking through an enchanted forest when they discovered a magical frog trapped in a hole. The frog promised to grant them each three wishes if they helped him escape. The two rescued the frog, and after they set him safely on the ground, the frog croaked, "thank you! Now I wi...

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A Bear and A Rabbit Walking Through the Woods

A bear and a rabbit are walking through the woods one day when they stumble across a magic lamp. Rabbit rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. "You know the drill," he says. "You both get three wishes. What's it gonna be?"

Bear says, "I wish all the other bears in the entire forest were *lady be...

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Two soldiers are walking through a forrest.

They’re both starving and searching for food, when they come to a crossroads. They agree, that each will go down one path and look for food. After about an hour they meet back at the crossroad. One of them is empty-handed, but the other one is holding a helmet full of macaroni with bits of meat. The...

On her sixth birthday, Joe decided to get his daughter, Violet, a new bike and teach her to ride it.

The whole family - Joe, Joy, Violet, and Billy - piled into the family station wagon and went down to the local toy store to pick one out. On entering the store, Violet immediately honed in on the perfect bike - it had streamers, a pinwheel, a bell, and a kickstand. It even was colored violet - her ...

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Big Shit

On a BA flight from Delhi to London, the pilot comes over the public address system, and tells passengers at what altitude they will be flying, the expected arrival time, a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, the pilot...

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A genie, lion and the rabbit.

Genie saw lion chasing the rabbit.

Stops them and asks them I'll grant you three wishes than you go your separate ways.

Lion says turn all my jungle lions into lionesses.

Rabbit says give me a helmet.

Lion says turn my neighbouring jungles lions into lionesses as well....

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Santa brings a boy a bike..

A little boy was riding his new bike and he comes to a corner where there is a cop on a horse.

The cop looks down at the boy and says, "Hey, that's a neat bike. Did Santa bring you that bike for Christmas?"

The boy smiles and replies, "Yes, yes he did!!"

The cop gets down off...

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A Bear and A Rabbit

A Bear and A Rabbit are walking through the woods, when they come across a magic lamp in a clearing. Upon further investigation, and only 1 attempt to eat it, they release the genie inside who graciously grants them each 3 wishes.

Bear, who lives in the moment quickly says:

"I wish tha...

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Two fleas in a bar

So, there's a flea bar in Florida, and every year there's two fleas that meet there to enjoy the summer together. Flea A is sitting in the bar, enjoying his drink, when Flea B walks through the door. And Flea B is fucking frozen. Iced up, shivering, shaking, and not looking so good.

Flea A...

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National slants on the penis

Unlikely as it sounds, an American, a North Korean, a Frenchman, and a Kiwi were all having a drink near the DMZ. And drunken conversation got to the topic of the knob on the end of the penis.

The American said “the knob is on the penis to aid penetration of the female parts”.

The...

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Translated Slovakian joke

A guerilla fighter is caught by the Nazis during the uprising and is being interrogated. In his defence he says: "look my Grandpa was a great fighter, he shot 46 Soviet soldiers, so dont kill me please!" The Nazi guard asks him: "How do you know they were Soviet soldiers?" "Well, they all had SS on ...

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A lion is hunting a rabbit

A lion is trying to hunt a rabbit but the rabbit being too elusive keeps on dodging him until they reach a very ancient part of jungle, where no one has ever been. By doing so they release an ancient spirit trapped in there. The spirit rises up from the dust and thanks the rabbit and lion and promis...

Voldemort tried to kill my grandpa twice during the war!

That's why his helmet has two lighting bolts.

Vietnam veteran's hilarious true story

A bunch of US soldiers were marching across a field. One of the guys says to his buddy, "Hey, do you see where we are?" He looks around and realizes they are walking through a massive field of marijuana. The soldiers started breaking off plants and stuffing them into their clothes and their helmets,...

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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, they came across a golden frog.

They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He to...

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The small magical pig and the 3 wishes

There was once a little-bitty magical pig and it was very lonely. It had never met other animals or humans.

One day it going through a large forest and met a rabbit and a bear that was up and fight!
The pig ran howling over to them:
- "Stop !!!! I can not fight! You are the firs...

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Mister Bear and Mister Rabbit were running...

...through the forest.

They ran into a fairy and she gave each of them three wishes, taking turns doing one at a time.

Mr Bear bursts forward "I'll go first."

"I wish I was the most eligible bachelor in the whole forest."

The fairy makes it so.

Mr Rabbit asked for ...

A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.

First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."

"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.

"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."

Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."

"A doctor?" Asked the tea...

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A bear and a squirrel were walking through the forest....

When they stumbled on a magic frog who said he would grant them both three wishes.

The bear goes first. "I wish all the bears in the forest besides me were female" said the bear. "Then I'd get laid all the time." "It is so." Said the frog, and all the bears in the forest besides him were fema...

My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like she was special...

...so I got her a helmet and a box of crayons!

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A bear and a rabbit are walking through the forest..

A bear and a rabbit are walking through the forest and they find a genie's magic lamp. Stoked on life, they pick up the lamp and rub it. Out comes the, who bellows "you may have three wishes each."
The bear makes the first wish. "Guys, ive got it. I wish that every bear in this forest was female,...

Topical Jokes for 10/21

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

NASA scientists are preparing for a mission to Mars by spending eight months in Hawaii. After eight months in Hawaii, the scientists will then go on a well-earned vacation.

...the Hawaii mission will help astronauts...

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Bear , Rabbit & Genie

One afternoon, a bear was chasing a rabbit through the woods. As the rabbit dove through a bush in an attempt to escape, he collided with an old dusty genie lamp. This tripped him up, which in turn tripped up the bear, and the both of them tumbled down a small hill along with the lamp, which promptl...

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A bear and a rabbit were walking through the forest

All of a sudden they come across a golden turtle. The turtle looks at them and explains that today is their lucky day because he happens to be a magical golden turtle and is going to grant each of them three wishes. The bear, who is a horny fucker, goes first and wishes they he was the only male bea...

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A boy is buying his first motorcycle

His mother is mortified that after saving up all through highschool he's going to risk his life and
buy a motorcycle in college. She asks him why he wants to ride and he replies "Because it's cool,
I'm an adult now, I want to feel free for once in my life"

His mum took that to heart. S...

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Bunny and the Bear

A bear was chasing this bunny around a forest. They ran into a clearing and were running around a certain huge redwood where a genie lived. The genie got so tired of the racket that he finally came out and told the pair that he would grant them 3 wishes a piece if they would just leave him alone. Th...

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A rabbit and a bear

A bear was fishing with his rabbit friend, After a while of fishing they caight a fish, just before the bear was about to eat it the fish started talking, "Please dont eat me, Im a magic fish and ill grant you 3 wishes each if you spare me" The bear and the rabbit agreed, so the bear started with hi...

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A bear and a rabbit

So a bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods one day. Just as the bear was about to get the rabbit, they stumble over a lamp, and a genie pops out.

They genie tells them that since they both found him, they both get three wishes. He asks the bear for his first wish.



"I wan...

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The rabbit, the bear, and the wish granting frog (My first post, please be gentle)

A rabbit was sitting in the forest straining to expel the demons caused from a bad meal he had eaten the night before, when he heard a rustling in the bush not far from him. Knowing he was near the bottom of the food chain, he tried to hurry it up.

Just as the rabbit finished his business, ...

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One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog is hopping towards a water hole...

The forest is so enormous that the frog have never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear is chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wis...

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Cool Joke

So there is this bear and this rabbit walking together in the woods. They come across this mysterious lamp. Of course they rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says they get six wishes, three each. Meanwhile the bear is like "Oh yeah! Time to get some wishes!" and the rabbits just like "Oh this ...

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A rabbit and a bear dig up an old lamp

A rabbit and a bear are digging for some tasty roots when they come across an old lamp. The bear immediately claims it and yanks it out of the rabbits grasp. Wiping off the dirt from the lamp with them in the process.
Immediately a genie bursts from the lamp shouting: *"Thank you for freeing me ...

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A bear chases a rabbit though the woods.

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods,
The bear leaps and catches the rabbit, doing so they both roll into a ditch.

During the roll, both the bear and rabbit accidently rubbed against a lamp.
The lamp begins to shake and let's loose a genie.
"Thank you both my friends, as a r...

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There is a bear chasing a rabbit through the forrest...

They are neck and neck and the bear is almost able to catch the rabbit when he spots a magic lamp. The bear comes to a stop and rubs the lamp with all his might. A genie pops out and says he will grant three wishes to both the rabbit, and the bear. The bear goes first.
"I wish I was the only male...

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Insults

She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

Look's like she's been dunking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than Sooty!

She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

S...

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The Mouse and The Bear NOTE: It is like a story joke but worth a read... I think.

The mouse and the bear hate each other, but they both have the same goal, which is to find the magical frog genie who would grant three wishes to any who would find and free it. So the mouse and the bear decided to let their hatred aside and work together to find the frog. For days they would strugg...

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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit are walking through the woods...

...and attempting to find a way to avoid seeing one another anymore. For a long list of reasons, these two just despise one another, but attempt to be civil, and try to talk through a way they can simply not interact with the other, solving their problem.

As they are walking along in the for...

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It was Mr. & Mrs. Egg's wedding night....

And they were both eager to get down to business. Mrs Egg leaned over to Mr Egg and whispered, "Let me go and slip into something more comfortable". Mr Egg waited in bed while Mrs Egg went into the bathroom. A few minutes passed and Mrs Egg came out of the bathroom dressed in the sexiest lingerie Mr...

Baseball & Football -George Carlin

Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allo...

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Joe returns home from basic training.

Joe finishes his basic training for the Army, and decides to surprise his family by coming home unannounced. His family is shocked, but everyone is happy to have him back home. After dinner, his mother and siblings head for bed, and Joe and his father remain at the table to have a couple beers and...

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A bear and a rabbit walk through a forest

after walking for several hours they meet a fairy. The fairy says: „Each of you has three wishes, but be careful what you wish for, because i cant return them. The bear begins and says: „I wish every bear in this forest would be female, except me.“ wish granted. The rabbit then wishes for a red bicy...

In class room . Russia , after the war .

Russia , 1951 . school teacher asked the children. Who were your fathers ? the first boy said, " driver " , the second "The Postman ." I ask a question about the third . He said, " electrician. He was wearing a helmet and helmet were two lightning . (P.s - sorry for my english :) )

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A Bear and a Rabbit were walking through the woods...

... when they came across a magic lamp. Rather than argue over who would use it, they rubbed it together and out came a magic genie who offered them both three wishes. After a moment deciding amongst themselves, they both agreed to let the Bear go first.

The Bear approached the Genie.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear is chasing a rabbit in the woods...

The happen upon a stream where a frog yells at them,
"I'm a magical frog. I'll grant each of you 3 wishes since your the first to grace me with your presence on over a hundred years"
"ok but i go first," says the bear. "I wish every bear in this forest, except for me, were female!" And poof! A...

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