UPJOKE
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What does viagra and the Chinese government have in common?

They both have been rigging erections for years.

What happened to all the proof about Russia rigging the elections?

(removed)

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What’s it called when Donald Trump takes viagra?

Rigging a presidential erection

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The pirate

A man walks into a pub down by the wharf and sits at the bar next to a man with an eyepatch, a hook on his right hand and a wooden leg. The man exclaims, " Wow you must be a pirate!" How did you lose your leg? The pirate looks over and says, "well lad it was my first day onboard me ship, I haven't q...

The 3 men (Joke told by professor)

Sometime during the middle ages, one day - an engineer, a priest, and a farmer were being executed by the guillotine due to their crimes they commit against the village

the engineer was punished because he was rigging his builds and selling it blindly to people to make extra money by offering...

Handyman goes to court

So this handyman was caught working without a license. He was a bit of a diy guy and had decided to fix some things himself, but wasn't licensed to do so and they weren't up to standard.

In the court, the judge received a note from his assistant and immediately declare him guilty for working ...

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My Red Shitt

The captain of a Spanish ship is walking around the deck inspecting the rigging and checking for damage when he hears from the crow's nest "Pirate ship to port, 2 kilometers." Upon receiving the news the captain tells his new first mate "Fetch me my red shirt at once."

The first mate brings t...

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My go-to joke

Seamus is out walking with his grandson Angus, and he says "Angus, your da told me to give you a little talk about legacy. Ya got to be careful with what you do in life, because it'll stick with ya"

"You see that bridge over there? I cut every stone down in the quarry, lugged them up to to th...

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