UPJOKE
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When I was a young boy, I made a mechanism that would change the angle of my bed.

I guess I have always been mechanically inclined.

Did you know: the cows with the sweetest, most delectable milk have a unique defensive mechanism?

Horns!

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A King was about to leave the kingdom for a long journey

However, he was jealous that every servant and Knight in the castle would want to approach his queen.

He therefore created a chopping mechanism that would cut anything that would penetrate his wife. He put that belt around his woman and left.

After three months he returned to the castl...

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My unhealthy coping mechanism is sex

That's why I'm still depressed

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My therapist says I'm a delusional narcissist who uses dismissive indignation as a coping mechanism

That was really hard to hear from a stupid jealous piece of shit.

Friend of mine bought a Rolex but the glass popped off and then the mechanism came loose and fell to the floor...

...I said watch out!

A puffer fish went to a surgeon because his puffer mechanism wasn’t working right.

When he got back he talked with his fish friends for a bit.

They asked him, “How did your surgery go? Did they fix your puffer?”

He replied, “It went *swell*.”

Did you know your faucet has 15 different mechanisms that help turn on the water?

They all work in sink.

One day a man decided to retire. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How d...

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