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Mechanism Jokes

A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, the rope is pulled but nothing happens. He claims he has been saved by divine intervention and is released.

The lawyer puts his head on the block, but again, nothing happens, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and is set free.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist says I'm a delusional narcissist who uses dismissive indignation as a coping mechanism

That was really hard to hear from a stupid jealous piece of shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My unhealthy coping mechanism is sex

That's why I'm still depressed

Did you know: the cows with the sweetest, most delectable milk have a unique defensive mechanism?

Horns!

When I was a young boy, I made a mechanism that would change the angle of my bed.

I guess I have always been mechanically inclined.

A puffer fish went to a surgeon because his puffer mechanism wasn’t working right.

When he got back he talked with his fish friends for a bit.

They asked him, “How did your surgery go? Did they fix your puffer?”

He replied, “It went *swell*.”

Friend of mine bought a Rolex but the glass popped off and then the mechanism came loose and fell to the floor...

...I said watch out!

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