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Formaldehyde Jokes

The opposite of formaldehyde is

casualdejekyll.

What do you get when you mix soap with formaldehyde?

Is it poisonous? Please answer fast, my hands are feeling numb.

What workplace game do scientists like to play?

Formaldehyde-and-go-seek

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mortician.

A mortician was going about his typical day of embalming and what not, when he came across a client that had the biggest male member he had ever seen. Even by porn standards his hog was huge. So the mortician decides he needs to preserve this monstrosity of man meat because this definitely has to be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A morgue worker is finishing up a report on a cadaver and notices something...

"Wow! Hey doc, check out the equipment on this guy!" He said, looking at the dead man's genitals under the sheet

"My goodness! That's impressive!" The doctor said. "Hey, uh, go get me a scalpel and a gallon of formaldehyde."

The morgue worker went to get what the doctor asked for.
<...

What is a funeral director’s favorite game?

Formaldehyde and go seek

You might be a necropheliac if...

Shout out to Jeff Foxworthy for the inspiration. Here we go.

You might be a necropheliac if...

Your version of tinder is the local obituaries.

You have detailed knowledge of the security setup of every funeral home and cemetery in your city.

The contents of your trunk i...

Retiring Dr.

A doctor who delivered thousands of babies over his career is finally retiring. He had an odd habit but whenever he circumcised a baby boy he would throw the foreskin in a large gallon jar of formaldehyde. As he is cleaning out his office there sits this large Jar and he begins to think "What can I...

A guy loses an eye on a fishing trip with his friends

As he is laying in the hospital bed surrounded by all his family and friends after the surgery, his best friend rushes in the room and says:

-I have great news!! I just ran into the doctor and he said you're not going to lose your eye!
Everybody in the room turns around and the wounded ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The funeral director...

Schwartz dies and is brought to the local funeral home to be laid out.
The funeral director carts him in and begins to undress the body, but when he pulls off the man's pants- he can't believe what he sees! Mr. Schwartz has easily got the largest penis he's ever seen. I mean- HUGE!
"I can't ...

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